7 year old with sensory sensitivity and deep feeler

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are describing my kid exactly. She's a year older but exact same personality and issues.

People have already recommended a lot of the resources we've used -- Dan Shapiro and Child-Parent Journey was helpful (though the session I attended felt it was a bit more geared toward kids with existing diagnoses or more obvious difficulties, rather than kids like ours who don't really have specific challenges but clearly need to be parented in a different way), Dr. Becky, the Highly Sensitive Child.

I also recommend The Explosive Child, especially if you are dealing with these tantrums at home. I think it's perfect for kids whose meltdowns are linked to sensory issues because his recommended approach is premised on empowering kids to find solutions to issues through logic and negotiation, and this is an essential skill for a sensitive kid who is highly reactive to things that don't bother most people.

We have not done a neuropsych exam because we've just treated the symptoms as they've arisen, which carry their own diagnoses. For our kid it's ARFID (extreme food aversions, driven by the sensitivity to smells, textures, etc.) and anxiety (also driven by the heightened sensitivity to stimuli). We also changed elementary schools in the hopes that a calmer school environment will allow her to cultivate true self-regulation skills instead of what she was doing before, which was white-knuckling her way through the day with a lot of effort ("masking") and then totally losing it at home and on weekends (this is called restraint collapse syndrome and is common in PK and K kids experiencing school for the first time, but for my kid lasted into middle elementary).

We may still get an eval, I do always wonder if an autism or OCD diagnosis would help or not. I do wish there was a clearer playbook for handling the sensory issues in kids who don't have accompanying academic or school behavioral issues (and people don't view a kid who falls apart at home as a problem, for some reason). But we're in a wait and see mode because we continue to see improvement with what we're doing so far.

If it’s only happening at home it can usually be mitigated through parent training. It’s not restraint collapse, it’s lack of structure, routine, consistency.

[Anonymous]

NP here and this sounds very similar to some issues we're facing with our DD.

As far as interim steps, is there anyway to get testing for less than $5,000? My read is that it's not covered by insurance but $5K is a pretty significant amount of money for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here and this sounds very similar to some issues we're facing with our DD.

As far as interim steps, is there anyway to get testing for less than $5,000? My read is that it's not covered by insurance but $5K is a pretty significant amount of money for us.

You can get standalone skills based testing rather than diagnostic testing. It will still cost money but you might get more out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here and this sounds very similar to some issues we're facing with our DD.

As far as interim steps, is there anyway to get testing for less than $5,000? My read is that it's not covered by insurance but $5K is a pretty significant amount of money for us.

Yes … ask the school. It is free and if you disagree you can get an IEE. Don’t pay $5k to CAAT that you cannot afford. That’s unconscionable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are describing my kid exactly. She's a year older but exact same personality and issues.

People have already recommended a lot of the resources we've used -- Dan Shapiro and Child-Parent Journey was helpful (though the session I attended felt it was a bit more geared toward kids with existing diagnoses or more obvious difficulties, rather than kids like ours who don't really have specific challenges but clearly need to be parented in a different way), Dr. Becky, the Highly Sensitive Child.

I also recommend The Explosive Child, especially if you are dealing with these tantrums at home. I think it's perfect for kids whose meltdowns are linked to sensory issues because his recommended approach is premised on empowering kids to find solutions to issues through logic and negotiation, and this is an essential skill for a sensitive kid who is highly reactive to things that don't bother most people.

We have not done a neuropsych exam because we've just treated the symptoms as they've arisen, which carry their own diagnoses. For our kid it's ARFID (extreme food aversions, driven by the sensitivity to smells, textures, etc.) and anxiety (also driven by the heightened sensitivity to stimuli). We also changed elementary schools in the hopes that a calmer school environment will allow her to cultivate true self-regulation skills instead of what she was doing before, which was white-knuckling her way through the day with a lot of effort ("masking") and then totally losing it at home and on weekends (this is called restraint collapse syndrome and is common in PK and K kids experiencing school for the first time, but for my kid lasted into middle elementary).

We may still get an eval, I do always wonder if an autism or OCD diagnosis would help or not. I do wish there was a clearer playbook for handling the sensory issues in kids who don't have accompanying academic or school behavioral issues (and people don't view a kid who falls apart at home as a problem, for some reason). But we're in a wait and see mode because we continue to see improvement with what we're doing so far.

If it’s only happening at home it can usually be mitigated through parent training. It’s not restraint collapse, it’s lack of structure, routine, consistency.

+1. And even if it is also happening at school, parent training will help so much for home. This is the kind of therapy actually worth paying for (IMO) because it is evidence based and time limited. One of the best investments we have made was 15 weeks with a trained child psychologist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing to consider is that often, an autism diagnosis will flip a switch whereby your insurance covers a lot more therapies than it otherwise would -- so if you need more than a year of OT and/or ABA, the insurance savings might cover the $5k evaluation fee. That was the case for us, but YMMV.

Our insurance covered OT and out of network benefits for child psychology with no autism dx.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello, inviting thoughts on whether to get a neuropsych evaluation - and recommendations if so - for a 7 year old girl who is sensory sensitive (to sounds, textures, smells) and deep feeler (ok in school but meltdowns at home); she has been doing ok in school, as far as class and friendships; she does a lot of imaginative play, loves to read, and laughs/plays/makes eye contact with several very close friends; she can be calm and focused playing on her own or with friends: however, she often misreads social cues, can be clumsy, is obsessed with one type of animal and one book right now, and has major meltdowns/ tantrums at home about clothing textures/socks etc to the point of refusing to transition between activities.

I recently started reading about high function level 1 girls masking autism, and how they especially melt down at home. I am wondering if other people have experience with this, and advice on tests and or generally.

should i get a full $5k evaluation - is there an interim step people have done? Just wondering.

I just took my kid for an OT eval and then did OT for her. Helped immensely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are describing my kid exactly. She's a year older but exact same personality and issues.

People have already recommended a lot of the resources we've used -- Dan Shapiro and Child-Parent Journey was helpful (though the session I attended felt it was a bit more geared toward kids with existing diagnoses or more obvious difficulties, rather than kids like ours who don't really have specific challenges but clearly need to be parented in a different way), Dr. Becky, the Highly Sensitive Child.

I also recommend The Explosive Child, especially if you are dealing with these tantrums at home. I think it's perfect for kids whose meltdowns are linked to sensory issues because his recommended approach is premised on empowering kids to find solutions to issues through logic and negotiation, and this is an essential skill for a sensitive kid who is highly reactive to things that don't bother most people.

We have not done a neuropsych exam because we've just treated the symptoms as they've arisen, which carry their own diagnoses. For our kid it's ARFID (extreme food aversions, driven by the sensitivity to smells, textures, etc.) and anxiety (also driven by the heightened sensitivity to stimuli). We also changed elementary schools in the hopes that a calmer school environment will allow her to cultivate true self-regulation skills instead of what she was doing before, which was white-knuckling her way through the day with a lot of effort ("masking") and then totally losing it at home and on weekends (this is called restraint collapse syndrome and is common in PK and K kids experiencing school for the first time, but for my kid lasted into middle elementary).

We may still get an eval, I do always wonder if an autism or OCD diagnosis would help or not. I do wish there was a clearer playbook for handling the sensory issues in kids who don't have accompanying academic or school behavioral issues (and people don't view a kid who falls apart at home as a problem, for some reason). But we're in a wait and see mode because we continue to see improvement with what we're doing so far.

If it’s only happening at home it can usually be mitigated through parent training. It’s not restraint collapse, it’s lack of structure, routine, consistency.

Hard disagree. And how do you know it isnt restraint collapse??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are describing my kid exactly. She's a year older but exact same personality and issues.

People have already recommended a lot of the resources we've used -- Dan Shapiro and Child-Parent Journey was helpful (though the session I attended felt it was a bit more geared toward kids with existing diagnoses or more obvious difficulties, rather than kids like ours who don't really have specific challenges but clearly need to be parented in a different way), Dr. Becky, the Highly Sensitive Child.

I also recommend The Explosive Child, especially if you are dealing with these tantrums at home. I think it's perfect for kids whose meltdowns are linked to sensory issues because his recommended approach is premised on empowering kids to find solutions to issues through logic and negotiation, and this is an essential skill for a sensitive kid who is highly reactive to things that don't bother most people.

We have not done a neuropsych exam because we've just treated the symptoms as they've arisen, which carry their own diagnoses. For our kid it's ARFID (extreme food aversions, driven by the sensitivity to smells, textures, etc.) and anxiety (also driven by the heightened sensitivity to stimuli). We also changed elementary schools in the hopes that a calmer school environment will allow her to cultivate true self-regulation skills instead of what she was doing before, which was white-knuckling her way through the day with a lot of effort ("masking") and then totally losing it at home and on weekends (this is called restraint collapse syndrome and is common in PK and K kids experiencing school for the first time, but for my kid lasted into middle elementary).

We may still get an eval, I do always wonder if an autism or OCD diagnosis would help or not. I do wish there was a clearer playbook for handling the sensory issues in kids who don't have accompanying academic or school behavioral issues (and people don't view a kid who falls apart at home as a problem, for some reason). But we're in a wait and see mode because we continue to see improvement with what we're doing so far.

If it’s only happening at home it can usually be mitigated through parent training. It’s not restraint collapse, it’s lack of structure, routine, consistency.

Sometimes it is restraint collapse though. You can have structure, routine, and consistency at home, but if expectations for a child at school require them to exert extra effort to follow rules and meet social expectations, they can still have restraint collapse upon leaving that environment and getting home. Even if the home has good structure and consistency.

Especially common this time of year as a new school year will have new rules, expectations, and social dynamics and some kids will struggle internally to adjust to these while externally masking. But that takes enormous effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are describing my kid exactly. She's a year older but exact same personality and issues.

People have already recommended a lot of the resources we've used -- Dan Shapiro and Child-Parent Journey was helpful (though the session I attended felt it was a bit more geared toward kids with existing diagnoses or more obvious difficulties, rather than kids like ours who don't really have specific challenges but clearly need to be parented in a different way), Dr. Becky, the Highly Sensitive Child.

I also recommend The Explosive Child, especially if you are dealing with these tantrums at home. I think it's perfect for kids whose meltdowns are linked to sensory issues because his recommended approach is premised on empowering kids to find solutions to issues through logic and negotiation, and this is an essential skill for a sensitive kid who is highly reactive to things that don't bother most people.

We have not done a neuropsych exam because we've just treated the symptoms as they've arisen, which carry their own diagnoses. For our kid it's ARFID (extreme food aversions, driven by the sensitivity to smells, textures, etc.) and anxiety (also driven by the heightened sensitivity to stimuli). We also changed elementary schools in the hopes that a calmer school environment will allow her to cultivate true self-regulation skills instead of what she was doing before, which was white-knuckling her way through the day with a lot of effort ("masking") and then totally losing it at home and on weekends (this is called restraint collapse syndrome and is common in PK and K kids experiencing school for the first time, but for my kid lasted into middle elementary).

We may still get an eval, I do always wonder if an autism or OCD diagnosis would help or not. I do wish there was a clearer playbook for handling the sensory issues in kids who don't have accompanying academic or school behavioral issues (and people don't view a kid who falls apart at home as a problem, for some reason). But we're in a wait and see mode because we continue to see improvement with what we're doing so far.

If it’s only happening at home it can usually be mitigated through parent training. It’s not restraint collapse, it’s lack of structure, routine, consistency.

Sometimes it is restraint collapse though. You can have structure, routine, and consistency at home, but if expectations for a child at school require them to exert extra effort to follow rules and meet social expectations, they can still have restraint collapse upon leaving that environment and getting home. Even if the home has good structure and consistency.

Especially common this time of year as a new school year will have new rules, expectations, and social dynamics and some kids will struggle internally to adjust to these while externally masking. But that takes enormous effort.

Should also have added that sometimes the problem is lack of structure and consistency at school. Kids will work extra hard to navigate that but it's stressful, and when they get home to a place where the rules are clear and make sense, they feel comfortable falling apart because they know what to expect and don't risk embarrassment or being punished or made fun of for expressing frustration or anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this sensory sensitivity only an American issue? You don't see this kind of thing in Russia or China ...

OMG please go back under the rock you climbed out of.

Of course Russia and China have these issues.

But you are MAGA and want a facsist dictatorship like North Korea because you are too stupid to learn or think for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Had similar issues with my DS and got the full eval. Turns out the diagnosis was anxiety and largely stemming from his then-preschool's disciplinary approach which made him feel like a "bad kid." Got him into OT and changed schools, and two years later it's like we have a different kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this sensory sensitivity only an American issue? You don't see this kind of thing in Russia or China ...

OMG please go back under the rock you climbed out of.

Of course Russia and China have these issues.

But you are MAGA and want a facsist dictatorship like North Korea because you are too stupid to learn or think for yourself.

Please limit your TDS comments to the politics forum.

[Anonymous]

As a parent, trust your gut. If something feels off, testing can’t hurt if you can afford it. Either you’ll get a diagnosis and helpful recommendations or you’ll get some reassurance. It could be autism or it could be anxiety or ADHD or a combo. More information is always helpful. DD is now a young adult but when she was that age she was very sensitive and struck me as stubborn. I saw her as mildly anxious. No teacher ever expressed a concern even when I asked and she had plenty of friends. But by 4th/5th things were harder for her socially and she was became harder for me to parent. She began therapy for anxiety and in 6th grade was finally diagnosed with ADHD. I wish I had evaluated her sooner so we could have supported her better. I have two other kids with other disabilities and have learned to trust my intuition.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thank you all, this is so helpful. This is a true journey of learning, and I appreciate your compassionate and candid responses.