7 year old with sensory sensitivity and deep feeler

[Anonymous]

Hello, inviting thoughts on whether to get a neuropsych evaluation - and recommendations if so - for a 7 year old girl who is sensory sensitive (to sounds, textures, smells) and deep feeler (ok in school but meltdowns at home); she has been doing ok in school, as far as class and friendships; she does a lot of imaginative play, loves to read, and laughs/plays/makes eye contact with several very close friends; she can be calm and focused playing on her own or with friends: however, she often misreads social cues, can be clumsy, is obsessed with one type of animal and one book right now, and has major meltdowns/ tantrums at home about clothing textures/socks etc to the point of refusing to transition between activities.

I recently started reading about high function level 1 girls masking autism, and how they especially melt down at home. I am wondering if other people have experience with this, and advice on tests and or generally.

should i get a full $5k evaluation - is there an interim step people have done? Just wondering.

[Anonymous]

I would get it. But you can probably start OT without waiting and that might get her some relief.

[Anonymous]

No, definitely don’t pay $5k for something that will give you no practical services. Consult with a behavioral psychologist or OT - although you need to pick the OT carefully to make sure they can provide you with structure at home to desensitize and address meltdowns.

[Anonymous]

Read your OP. The only thing you describe that affects your child and family are the tantrums over sensory stuff. You can never go wrong by focusing on the challenge that you as a parent know exists. So OT or ABA and parenting support for the tantrums.

[Anonymous]

I would get a neuropsych, so you can get insurance to cover services and so you have a better picture of your child’s strengths and weaknesses and can better support them at home and school.

If your child has ASD 1 school will become increasingly more difficult to navigate socially and masking will take increasingly more energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read your OP. The only thing you describe that affects your child and family are the tantrums over sensory stuff. You can never go wrong by focusing on the challenge that you as a parent know exists. So OT or ABA and parenting support for the tantrums.

No, the social skills also affects the child and the family. And indicate autism.

[Anonymous]

Why is this sensory sensitivity only an American issue? You don't see this kind of thing in Russia or China ...

[Anonymous]

A deep feeler? YFKMR?

[Anonymous]

OP here - thank you. I have a sibling with more extreme autism, so did not recognize this somehow in my own kid - because I did not know a level 1 version for girls this mild could exist - and teachers have not flagged anything yet. I just feel like the masking must get harder, if that is what is happening, and so will set up at least a waitlist slot for neuropsychological, because why not I guess....

[Anonymous]

Read the Highly Sensitive Child.

[Anonymous]

Yes I definitely would. My daughter is 16 and I wish I did that then and helped her more and had things in place for her. We did OT in preschool and early ES for sensory processing disorder and everyone said she can't possibly be autistic. And she was very good at masking it once she hit older ES and then Covid which made her perfectly "fine" and then back to upper middle school and ages 13/14 and a lot of fighting with doctors and finally got a neuropsychologist even and she is AU/ADHD.

I would do anything to go back

[Anonymous]

I am a big believer in testing, I think you learn so much. I was amazed at how much could be broken down into discrete aspects of my child's development.

I will say that my child, who was similar to what you described, was not ultimately diagnosed with ASD though I fully expected him to be. His most obvious issue when he was younger was anxiety. When we treated the anxiety, all of the sensory issues disappeared. I mean, obviously everyone has their quirks, right? But the sensory stuff went from bring something that kept him from doing things to not seeming to register at all.

He was also years later diagnosed with a severe LD, which in retrospect of course was likely a big cause of the anxiety.

I am not saying that this is what is going on with your child. I am just saying that identifying issues and treating them were hugely beneficial for my child.

[Anonymous]

Agree with what everyone has said.

As a parent, I think if you are questioning testing you know in your gut something deeper may be going on.

Get on the wait-list, make sure you indicate you are concerned about possible autism bc that'll be an additional set of tests beyond the normal full eval. You know the wait will be very long so at least you have it on the books.

And go ahead and get OT or whatever else can help support YOU guys at home. I love Dr Becky Kennedy and she has a whole segment on deeply feeling kid (DKFs). She has one herself and realizes traditional strategies may not work for these kids. Also, Dr Dan Shapiro the parent child journey. We took his in person course and he is a gem of a human and we learned so much from him!

Good luck on your journey.

Also, go ahead and set up

[Anonymous]

One thing to consider is that often, an autism diagnosis will flip a switch whereby your insurance covers a lot more therapies than it otherwise would -- so if you need more than a year of OT and/or ABA, the insurance savings might cover the $5k evaluation fee. That was the case for us, but YMMV.

[Anonymous]

You are describing my kid exactly. She's a year older but exact same personality and issues.

People have already recommended a lot of the resources we've used -- Dan Shapiro and Child-Parent Journey was helpful (though the session I attended felt it was a bit more geared toward kids with existing diagnoses or more obvious difficulties, rather than kids like ours who don't really have specific challenges but clearly need to be parented in a different way), Dr. Becky, the Highly Sensitive Child.

I also recommend The Explosive Child, especially if you are dealing with these tantrums at home. I think it's perfect for kids whose meltdowns are linked to sensory issues because his recommended approach is premised on empowering kids to find solutions to issues through logic and negotiation, and this is an essential skill for a sensitive kid who is highly reactive to things that don't bother most people.

We have not done a neuropsych exam because we've just treated the symptoms as they've arisen, which carry their own diagnoses. For our kid it's ARFID (extreme food aversions, driven by the sensitivity to smells, textures, etc.) and anxiety (also driven by the heightened sensitivity to stimuli). We also changed elementary schools in the hopes that a calmer school environment will allow her to cultivate true self-regulation skills instead of what she was doing before, which was white-knuckling her way through the day with a lot of effort ("masking") and then totally losing it at home and on weekends (this is called restraint collapse syndrome and is common in PK and K kids experiencing school for the first time, but for my kid lasted into middle elementary).

We may still get an eval, I do always wonder if an autism or OCD diagnosis would help or not. I do wish there was a clearer playbook for handling the sensory issues in kids who don't have accompanying academic or school behavioral issues (and people don't view a kid who falls apart at home as a problem, for some reason). But we're in a wait and see mode because we continue to see improvement with what we're doing so far.