Have you been able to overthrow the AP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spouse is in a relation at work. Have confronted couple times but has denied. AP is single while I have two kids-he is a devoted dad, and we have long history together. Have more evidence now and want to confront (final) but not without a plan of getting the AP
out. He has a huge reputation to lose FWIW..anyone successfully navigated these waters? I will decide whether I stay or leave after the AP is out

Read Chump Lady’s Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life and don’t do the pick-me dance. You’ll get strategies for maintaining your self-respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I presented divorce papers and said move out today or call AP on speaker phone and end it.

He stayed… he turned on location services, he went to therapy and moved to the guest room.

2 years later I served him divorce papers but the AP was kicked to the curb and thrown under the bus.

I doubt it. or there was a new AP. But yay. I guess you won...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AP will leave too without you doing anything.

Not guaranteed. My aunt’s former husband is still happily married to the woman he left her for 20 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I presented divorce papers and said move out today or call AP on speaker phone and end it.

He stayed… he turned on location services, he went to therapy and moved to the guest room.

2 years later I served him divorce papers but the AP was kicked to the curb and thrown under the bus.

So you punished yourself by remaining with a man who was unfaithful to you and ultimately end up divorced…….to stick it to an AP? Honey lump lost before the game even started. This is not a flex.

[Anonymous]

You need to move on OP. He's clearly not choosing you anymore. The buffet of men is vast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I presented divorce papers and said move out today or call AP on speaker phone and end it.

He stayed… he turned on location services, he went to therapy and moved to the guest room.

2 years later I served him divorce papers but the AP was kicked to the curb and thrown under the bus.

So you punished yourself by remaining with a man who was unfaithful to you and ultimately end up divorced…….to stick it to an AP? Honey lump lost before the game even started. This is not a flex.

Absolutely NOT a FLEX!

[Anonymous]

Is it just your suspicion in or do you have any concrete evidence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP I'm sorry about your situation. I'm in the same exact boat. I'm playing to win.

If all works out, I'll get majority time with my kids; she'll get stuck with a man with zero integrity, narcissistic tendencies, an ex-wife she'll never measure up to, and two children who are not her own but whose very existence will inconvenience her plans of a luxurious stress-free life.

lol

[Anonymous]

If AP manipulated your naive DH and messed up your family, exposing her is going to be unproductive and may further complicate your life but probably give you some comfort and them some karma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spouse is in a relation at work. Have confronted couple times but has denied. AP is single while I have two kids-he is a devoted dad, and we have long history together. Have more evidence now and want to confront (final) but not without a plan of getting the AP
out. He has a huge reputation to lose FWIW..anyone successfully navigated these waters? I will decide whether I stay or leave after the AP is out

You have ZERO control over that. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spouse is in a relation at work. Have confronted couple times but has denied. AP is single while I have two kids-he is a devoted dad, and we have long history together. Have more evidence now and want to confront (final) but not without a plan of getting the AP
out. He has a huge reputation to lose FWIW..anyone successfully navigated these waters? I will decide whether I stay or leave after the AP is out

Unless she's his subordinate or he's in the military, no one cares if he's boning a co-worker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spouse is in a relation at work. Have confronted couple times but has denied. AP is single while I have two kids-he is a devoted dad, and we have long history together. Have more evidence now and want to confront (final) but not without a plan of getting the AP
out. He has a huge reputation to lose FWIW..anyone successfully navigated these waters? I will decide whether I stay or leave after the AP is out

Unless she's his subordinate or he's in the military, no one cares if he's boning a co-worker.

Also, you don't want him to lose his job in the event of a divorce. Getting work involved is rarely the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If AP manipulated your naive DH and messed up your family, exposing her is going to be unproductive and may further complicate your life but probably give you some comfort and them some karma.

Oh please, the DH is not naive here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spouse is in a relation at work. Have confronted couple times but has denied. AP is single while I have two kids-he is a devoted dad, and we have long history together. Have more evidence now and want to confront (final) but not without a plan of getting the AP
out. He has a huge reputation to lose FWIW..anyone successfully navigated these waters? I will decide whether I stay or leave after the AP is out

Unless she's his subordinate or he's in the military, no one cares if he's boning a co-worker.

Also, you don't want him to lose his job in the event of a divorce. Getting work involved is rarely the answer.

+1000 You do NOT want him losing his job if there is alimony or child support on the line.

Negotiate a good settlement and get out. Let the AP have her sad prize.

[Anonymous]

If she doesn't want to present a divorce to them on a silver platter, she can stay put, enjoy life and let them be uncomfortable. She can divorce when she feels like it but why do it now to make it convenient for them?