Have you been able to overthrow the AP?

[Anonymous]

Spouse is in a relation at work. Have confronted couple times but has denied. AP is single while I have two kids-he is a devoted dad, and we have long history together. Have more evidence now and want to confront (final) but not without a plan of getting the AP
out. He has a huge reputation to lose FWIW..anyone successfully navigated these waters? I will decide whether I stay or leave after the AP is out

[Anonymous]

Girl, as someone who has BTDT with her xH, don’t even bother. Just leave. It ain’t worth it.

Remember what your parents taught you - we always give our old toys to the less fortunate.

[Anonymous]

You're focusing on the wrong person. Focus on you, your children, and your relationship with your spouse. Go to therapy, talk to an attorney.

[Anonymous]

It’s tempting to do this but you are focusing on the wrong person. Also, your DH can lose his job which even if you don’t stay with him, will have negative implications for your child support or alimony.

[Anonymous]

Ma'am stop with the confrontations and announcements.

They BOTH don't care nor need to be reminded of what they're doing.

Speak to a lawyer and plan your next steps and divorce.

[Anonymous]

Just stand outside his job with a big banner telling everyone they’re banging.

[Anonymous]

Imagine if you did. AP is gone. But you spend the rest of your life wondering why he had AP, whether he has another AP and whether he is just with you out of a sense of responsibility and fear for his reputation. Are you happy?

[Anonymous]

Hi OP I'm sorry about your situation. I'm in the same exact boat. I'm playing to win.

If all works out, I'll get majority time with my kids; she'll get stuck with a man with zero integrity, narcissistic tendencies, an ex-wife she'll never measure up to, and two children who are not her own but whose very existence will inconvenience her plans of a luxurious stress-free life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP I'm sorry about your situation. I'm in the same exact boat. I'm playing to win.

If all works out, I'll get majority time with my kids; she'll get stuck with a man with zero integrity, narcissistic tendencies, an ex-wife she'll never measure up to, and two children who are not her own but whose very existence will inconvenience her plans of a luxurious stress-free life.

Hahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girl, as someone who has BTDT with her xH, don’t even bother. Just leave. It ain’t worth it.

Remember what your parents taught you - we always give our old toys to the less fortunate.

This is the correct mentality. If she can take your man, he wasn't your man. Let her have him.

[Anonymous]

If your goal is to remain married to him, confrontation will not advance that aim. You should focus on working on your marriage and convincing him to start counseling.

[Anonymous]

OP I mean this kindly but the AP is a symptom- your husband is the problem.

Gather your things and leave with your crown on straight.

[Anonymous]

AP will leave too without you doing anything.

[Anonymous]

1. doesn't sound like he's interested in ending things or that he's as devoted to you and the kids as you think.

2. doesn't seem like you have actual evidence.

3. if you have evidence that evidence can be used against you and him ie she can claim harrassment. sexual harrasment. abuse of powere etc etc. - bye bye job and reputation and potential money for you/kids

4. if 3 plays out like it likely will what makes you think he is going to play nice with you

your best bet is to swallow your pride forget about the AP see a lawyer get all your ducks in a row and handle him Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise style and you and your kids go on to live your best lives.

[Anonymous]

I presented divorce papers and said move out today or call AP on speaker phone and end it.

He stayed… he turned on location services, he went to therapy and moved to the guest room.

2 years later I served him divorce papers but the AP was kicked to the curb and thrown under the bus.