teen daughter only wearing baggy clothing?

[Anonymous]

She sees a therapist regularly as she requested one earlier this year for anxiety and stress and because most of her friends go to therapy and find it helpful (that's how she brought it up to us and I know it to be true by talking to them and their moms over the years).
I don't know what she talks to the therapist about--she doesn't share and the therapist doesn't and can't share anything with us as my daughter is an adult (turned 18 last fall.)

[Anonymous]

Baggy clothes have been a trend for a while. It's definitely a look. Whether it signals something more for your DD is hard to say without more context.

Her reaction once you got home is concerning but again, hard to pinpoint what might be going on without knowing how frequent this is for her. She could be seriously stressed out with college looming. She might be super annoyed with you these days. It could be more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sees a therapist regularly as she requested one earlier this year for anxiety and stress and because most of her friends go to therapy and find it helpful (that's how she brought it up to us and I know it to be true by talking to them and their moms over the years).
I don't know what she talks to the therapist about--she doesn't share and the therapist doesn't and can't share anything with us as my daughter is an adult (turned 18 last fall.)

This is where you went wrong, talking about anxiety breeds more anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sees a therapist regularly as she requested one earlier this year for anxiety and stress and because most of her friends go to therapy and find it helpful (that's how she brought it up to us and I know it to be true by talking to them and their moms over the years).
I don't know what she talks to the therapist about--she doesn't share and the therapist doesn't and can't share anything with us as my daughter is an adult (turned 18 last fall.)

This is where you went wrong, talking about anxiety breeds more anxiety.

Huh? What are you even talking about?

[Anonymous]

If she has been wearing these clothes for several years, have you directly asked her about trauma, assault or sexual harassment? Have you looked for signs of an eating disorder? This is what I would focus on, not the screaming.

To be clear, there is literally nothing wrong with wearing oversized clothes. But you seem to have concerns and it seems like you need to talk to her about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she has been wearing these clothes for several years, have you directly asked her about trauma, assault or sexual harassment? Have you looked for signs of an eating disorder? This is what I would focus on, not the screaming.

To be clear, there is literally nothing wrong with wearing oversized clothes. But you seem to have concerns and it seems like you need to talk to her about it.

This. It's trendy to wear some oversized clothing, but the screaming is different. Are you sure she hasn't been assaulted or harassed on a regular basis?

Something is wrong and it's not clothing OP. It's possible she doesn't want to tell you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sees a therapist regularly as she requested one earlier this year for anxiety and stress and because most of her friends go to therapy and find it helpful (that's how she brought it up to us and I know it to be true by talking to them and their moms over the years).
I don't know what she talks to the therapist about--she doesn't share and the therapist doesn't and can't share anything with us as my daughter is an adult (turned 18 last fall.)

There are so many red flags for OP as a parent here that I don't know where to start.

You put her in therapy because "most of her friends go to therapy?"

You're friends with a cadre of moms whose daughters are all in therapy?

You don't know what she's talking to the therapist about?

She doesn't share any of this with you, her mother?

You have bigger issues than baggy clothes, OP.

[Anonymous]

Something is stressing her out but it's hard to say if it's related to the clothing or not.

I would give her the receipt, tell her to be respectful or leave, and if you do have the ability to communicate with her therapist I would mention this to them.

[Anonymous]

My teen wears very loose somewhat boyish clothing. Sometimes I wish she would look more feminine then I remind myself of what I’ve seen the girls wearing walking out of MS and I’m thankful she doesn’t dress like that.
I’d tell her she can take them back if she wants to, and give some grace to the behavior like others have said. She’s probably stressed and anxious about college.

[Anonymous]

She’s 18. She doesn’t need you to go shopping with her. Give her a credit card and a limit.

[Anonymous]

Has she recently grown bigger boobs? Maybe trying to hide them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 18 year daughter spent high school in baggy jeans and huge sweatshirts/sweaters. She's a small person but no one could ever tell as she wears giant things. She's headed to college and we recently went shopping and in the dressing room she tried on jeans that fit and decided to buy them. I think I made the mistake of saying "those look nice." She brought them home and has been screaming )literally screaming) at me ever since that I forced her into buying tiny clothing that she can't breathe in. first, I didn't force the purchase it all--it was her. Second-they aren't tight pants--they're still the super loose style and they're nowhere near being formed to her shape but they're a few sizes smaller than she usually wears.

I think this is all probably normal but the anxious mom in me (stress is high as she's leaving for college) is worried that maybe something happened to her and she is hiding herself as a result. Or it's probably all normal.

Sounds like she is shy or anxious about her body, and when she found something she liked and wanted to try wearing in public, your comment made her self conscious and upset her.

Maybe keep your mouth closed next time she does something like that again, and not make comments about it.

Sometimes you push kids away by "complimenting" them, because they don't think you are sincere and are mocking them, or else they don't want your approval in general.

[Anonymous]

I’m 47 and very overweight, I still get mad at myself that when I was 18 and a size 4 I only wore baggy shapeless clothes. My two teenage daughters mostly do the same, I think it’s normal at this age.

[Anonymous]

Baggy oversized clothing is on trend.
The yelling and screaming is not.

[Anonymous]

I wore baggy clothes because I hated that I developed early. Men and boys would stare at my boobs so I just wore baggy clothes. I had a breast reduction in my mid 40s and I still tend to wear baggy shirts.