Bullycide of Rutgers Freshman

[Anonymous]

This could have happened anywhere. It should be worrisome that parents in the D.C. area often do nothing about bullying. "As long as it is not their kid" being bullied. Sad and typical.

9:54 - well said.

[Anonymous]

PP here - I need to ad my view is due to bullying parents I have seen. They are clearly attempting to overcompensate in one form or another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if we would be so quick to assume that this was a case of bullying if the encounter filmed involved a boy and a girl? I'm not trying to defend what these kids did, which was thoughtless, ugly, and cruel. But I'm not so certain that it means the kids are evil, as a PP said - just stupid and callous and way more comfortable with the technical dimensions of our interconnected world than with the moral dimensions. It's like all the perfectly nice, good, decent people who talk and text while driving - I see them every day commuting in/out of DC. I would guess that none of them intend to harm another person, but they are too selfish to consider the potential consequences of their actions. It's grotesque that the very tools that enable us to be more connected with the world also have a way of diminishing our empathy toward others.

I think it's bullying either way, and what these 2 people did was wrong and they know it. I do not see how anyone can do something like this without intending to cause someone else distress. Sure, maybe they couldn't see the future and predict he would jump off a bridge, but they KNOW it would cause him harm in some way. Getting your jollies by doing something mean to another person is bullying. One of the web cam guy's friends said, oh, he's really open-minded, he would have broadcast it even if it was M-F sex. It's so nice we have such open-minded people in the world, who would spy on you and broadcast your sex life without your permission, whether you are gay or straight. Equal opportunity bullying.

[Anonymous]

Of course it's bullying, no matter the genders involved. I would freak out if my child did this to another. Tape and/or broadcast sexual encounters online? To put it permanently on the internet for everyone to see at any time? To download and keep? To sell to others? Once it's out there, you can never get it back. What those kids did is beyond being horrible, even if the poor young man hadn't killed himself.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely tragic. How can one question whether this was bullying or not? It's bullying to the extreme.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope his roommate does go to jail. In a twist of fate, perhaps he will become "gay for the stay"

I am guessing he and the girl may find new "love" and a new frightful "life" while in jail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope his roommate does go to jail. In a twist of fate, perhaps he will become "gay for the stay"

I am guessing he and the girl may find new "love" and a new frightful "life" while in jail.

He might have found the camera and not been on the net:
http://gawker.com/5651659/is-this-webcam-spying-victim-tyler-clementis-last-call-for-help

There is a disturbing link where this young man might have been broadcasting himself. If so he could have been under 18 and who knows what perves saw him on the internet. Very sad . The bullying -harassment. Colleges and boarding schools need to have fast contingency plans when room assignments are not working out. tragic outcome.

[Anonymous]

You know what's interesting...you've posted this on a site where posters regularly and needlessly attack one another, sometimes with very degrading and vicious language. Do I think this has ever caused someone to take their own life? No, and it isn't the same thing by any means as what happened to this boy at Rutgers. BUT it is to say that when you are needlessly cruel, even on an anonymous chat board, you are falling into some of the same base behavior that these teens did. And this is presumably a group of adults. Who should know better and have figured out (or should have) some impulse control. Maybe the kind of people who come on here and give lashings to those seeking help or trying to vent aren't so far removed from these teenagers pulling this cruel prank. I'm sure they thought it was basically harmless at the time too.

You are always accountable for your behavior, even when it's anonymous and in the presence of strangers. It's always a choice to be mean and one that can be avoided.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know what's interesting...you've posted this on a site where posters regularly and needlessly attack one another, sometimes with very degrading and vicious language. Do I think this has ever caused someone to take their own life? No, and it isn't the same thing by any means as what happened to this boy at Rutgers. BUT it is to say that when you are needlessly cruel, even on an anonymous chat board, you are falling into some of the same base behavior that these teens did. And this is presumably a group of adults. Who should know better and have figured out (or should have) some impulse control. Maybe the kind of people who come on here and give lashings to those seeking help or trying to vent aren't so far removed from these teenagers pulling this cruel prank. I'm sure they thought it was basically harmless at the time too.

You are always accountable for your behavior, even when it's anonymous and in the presence of strangers. It's always a choice to be mean and one that can be avoided.

I think the analogy is a bit flawed. This is an anonymous message board. No one is broadcasting sex videos or outing someone else as homosexual. To the extent meanness does occur, the denigrated person can take a break and go back to their real life. We are also adults. Teenagers are a vulnerable population.

I have also seen, and experienced, true kindness on this board. People who are depressed and vocalize that they are in serious trouble have not met without support. I have seen a tremendous outpouring of support for a very few women who state that they feel they are having suicidal thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know what's interesting...you've posted this on a site where posters regularly and needlessly attack one another, sometimes with very degrading and vicious language. Do I think this has ever caused someone to take their own life? No, and it isn't the same thing by any means as what happened to this boy at Rutgers. BUT it is to say that when you are needlessly cruel, even on an anonymous chat board, you are falling into some of the same base behavior that these teens did. And this is presumably a group of adults. Who should know better and have figured out (or should have) some impulse control. Maybe the kind of people who come on here and give lashings to those seeking help or trying to vent aren't so far removed from these teenagers pulling this cruel prank. I'm sure they thought it was basically harmless at the time too.

You are always accountable for your behavior, even when it's anonymous and in the presence of strangers. It's always a choice to be mean and one that can be avoided.

I think the analogy is a bit flawed. This is an anonymous message board. No one is broadcasting sex videos or outing someone else as homosexual. To the extent meanness does occur, the denigrated person can take a break and go back to their real life. We are also adults. Teenagers are a vulnerable population.

I have also seen, and experienced, true kindness on this board. People who are depressed and vocalize that they are in serious trouble have not met without support. I have seen a tremendous outpouring of support for a very few women who state that they feel they are having suicidal thoughts.

Yes, of course it's not the same thing...BUT the impulse to be needlessly mean, in disregard of another person's feelings, is alive and well here and I see these things as connected in that way. I just see irony in a bunch of adults acting outraged that something like this would occur and then turning around and telling someone on here what a dumb cunt they are for.... You see what I'm saying? If there were more respect for treating others decently in ALL walks of life we'd all be better off. And maybe our teenagers would be nicer to each other.

[Anonymous]

The analogy you are making is COMPLETELY different. When people are anonymous, attacking them causes them personal anxiety (perhaps) but does not expose them to any repercussions in the outside world.

Is I comment on your anonymous post, or attack your anonymous post, I know that there are no public repercussions.

If I attack an identified person, I know, or should know, that there will be public repercussions. I could even be sued for slander (or libel, I forget which it is).

[Anonymous]

I think 18:18 has a valid point. Regardless of whether or not the victim is publicly identifiable, cruelty is cruelty.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP. Cruelty is cruelty and we should all strive to have empathy and impulse control. Though, seriously, being cruel in a public forum in a publically identifiable way is the worst of the worst.

[Anonymous]

I think we can say that at least he won't die in vain. I hope this opens the eyes of many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP. Cruelty is cruelty and we should all strive to have empathy and impulse control. Though, seriously, being cruel in a public forum in a publically identifiable way is the worst of the worst.

Agree. The viciousness on this board -though less b/c of anonymity- is not different.

I'm so sad when I read stories like this. Those two will surely be haunted by what they have done.