Bullycide of Rutgers Freshman

[Anonymous]

An 18 year-old boy at Rutgers apparently jumped off a bridge, killing himself, after his roommate and a girl on his residence hall placed streaming video of him on the Internet having gay sex. Not once, but twice they did this. I could say adolescents are impulsive and they gave in to impulse (a cruel one), but they did it twice. This strikes me as devoid of empathy

I read the story here: http://abcnews.go.com/US/victim-secret-dorm-sex-tape-commits-suicide/story?id=11758716

This scares me, although my daughter is in preschool. How do we protects kids? Conversely, how do we teach them empathy? Impulse control? The kids who did this were bright and full of promise. I assume that they will be expelled, and rightly so, and prosecuted, again rightly so.

My heart goes out to the Clementi family this morning. My thoughts and prayers are with them.

[Anonymous]

I know. That broke my heart last night when I first read it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An 18 year-old boy at Rutgers apparently jumped off a bridge, killing himself, after his roommate and a girl on his residence hall placed streaming video of him on the Internet having gay sex. Not once, but twice they did this. I could say adolescents are impulsive and they gave in to impulse (a cruel one), but they did it twice. This strikes me as devoid of empathy

I read the story here: http://abcnews.go.com/US/victim-secret-dorm-sex-tape-commits-suicide/story?id=11758716

This scares me, although my daughter is in preschool. How do we protects kids? Conversely, how do we teach them empathy? Impulse control? The kids who did this were bright and full of promise. I assume that they will be expelled, and rightly so, and prosecuted, again rightly so.

My heart goes out to the Clementi family this morning. My thoughts and prayers are with them.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/30/nyregion/30suicide.html

Parents need to speak frankly continuously and hit on all topics no matter how distasteful. Of course keep it age appropriate. People need to step up when there is abuse of any sort.

[Anonymous]

I also wonder about the cruelty of these kids, and the others that have been in the news recently. I remember "mean" kids in school, but the worst offense I can recall was making fun of a girl for having dirty, greasy hair. It wasn't nice, but it wasn't streaming sex videos, or calling her a slut, or breaking her bones, or any of the other things I can recall from very recent stories.

I wish I had answers, but instead, it just makes me sad.

[Anonymous]

It is extremely sad.

[Anonymous]

From ABC. The young man might have been posting on a gay message board about his situation.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/suicide-rutgers-university-freshman-tyler-clementi-stuns-veteran/story?id=11763784

[Anonymous]

I hope his roommate does go to jail. In a twist of fate, perhaps he will become "gay for the stay"

[Anonymous]

So upsetting and so cruel. I feel terrible for the young man who died and his family; I hope that my son never turns out to be as thoughtless as the roommate and his friend.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if we would be so quick to assume that this was a case of bullying if the encounter filmed involved a boy and a girl? I'm not trying to defend what these kids did, which was thoughtless, ugly, and cruel. But I'm not so certain that it means the kids are evil, as a PP said - just stupid and callous and way more comfortable with the technical dimensions of our interconnected world than with the moral dimensions. It's like all the perfectly nice, good, decent people who talk and text while driving - I see them every day commuting in/out of DC. I would guess that none of them intend to harm another person, but they are too selfish to consider the potential consequences of their actions. It's grotesque that the very tools that enable us to be more connected with the world also have a way of diminishing our empathy toward others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if we would be so quick to assume that this was a case of bullying if the encounter filmed involved a boy and a girl? I'm not trying to defend what these kids did, which was thoughtless, ugly, and cruel. But I'm not so certain that it means the kids are evil, as a PP said - just stupid and callous and way more comfortable with the technical dimensions of our interconnected world than with the moral dimensions. It's like all the perfectly nice, good, decent people who talk and text while driving - I see them every day commuting in/out of DC. I would guess that none of them intend to harm another person, but they are too selfish to consider the potential consequences of their actions. It's grotesque that the very tools that enable us to be more connected with the world also have a way of diminishing our empathy toward others.

No, not an appropriate analogy. This incident is more like an immature driver who gets annoyed at another driver, tail gates him, and then ends up crashing into him, not realizing that the crash would result in the other guy's death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if we would be so quick to assume that this was a case of bullying if the encounter filmed involved a boy and a girl? I'm not trying to defend what these kids did, which was thoughtless, ugly, and cruel. But I'm not so certain that it means the kids are evil, as a PP said - just stupid and callous and way more comfortable with the technical dimensions of our interconnected world than with the moral dimensions. It's like all the perfectly nice, good, decent people who talk and text while driving - I see them every day commuting in/out of DC. I would guess that none of them intend to harm another person, but they are too selfish to consider the potential consequences of their actions. It's grotesque that the very tools that enable us to be more connected with the world also have a way of diminishing our empathy toward others.

Of course there's an extra dimension of bullying because the encounter involved gay sex! Are you being purposely naive? Can you imagine being 18 and being "outed" to the world by your roommate by having a video of yourself having sex put on the internet? In addition to the humiliation of having the video publicized, this young man may have been frightened for his safety and terrified that his relationships with family members were ending.

[Anonymous]

Let's see it Rutgers steps up and expels the roommate and his friend. So far, no mention of expulsion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if we would be so quick to assume that this was a case of bullying if the encounter filmed involved a boy and a girl? I'm not trying to defend what these kids did, which was thoughtless, ugly, and cruel. But I'm not so certain that it means the kids are evil, as a PP said - just stupid and callous and way more comfortable with the technical dimensions of our interconnected world than with the moral dimensions. It's like all the perfectly nice, good, decent people who talk and text while driving - I see them every day commuting in/out of DC. I would guess that none of them intend to harm another person, but they are too selfish to consider the potential consequences of their actions. It's grotesque that the very tools that enable us to be more connected with the world also have a way of diminishing our empathy toward others.

No, not an appropriate analogy. This incident is more like an immature driver who gets annoyed at another driver, tail gates him, and then ends up crashing into him, not realizing that the crash would result in the other guy's death.

Of course it would be bullying and harassment if it was M/F. Broadcasting or attempting to broadcast what becomes a secretly taped sex video? My DD could unwittingly become a college porn star ? Not fine with me. If live I assume it can be recorded? Or screen captures made?


I think people have to be very aware of webcams and other devices. There are small cameras separate from a screen that can be attached to the pc/laptop.

[Anonymous]

So sad. Please, kids, be respectful of each other. And please do not kill yourself. Have faith that whatever problems you're facing now are temporary.

[Anonymous]

I hope his roommate does go to jail. In a twist of fate, perhaps he will become "gay for the stay"

Ditto