How do I reinforce boundaries with my husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah OP has an eating disorder she doesn't want to admit too. She's freaking out because she's one week postpartum and hasn't lost the baby weight yet. Most women who are breast feeding are hungry all the time. It uses up a lot of energy.

+1. I don’t why we’re all pretending this is in anyway a normal situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah OP has an eating disorder she doesn't want to admit too. She's freaking out because she's one week postpartum and hasn't lost the baby weight yet. Most women who are breast feeding are hungry all the time. It uses up a lot of energy.

Not true. You’re way off the mark. I prioritized sleep the first week. I’m eating plenty now but my husband still thinks it’s not enough. I eat every 4 hours 4 times a day. Thats plenty.

Do you understand how f-ed up your eating has to be for you to end up in the hospital? You are talking to a board full of women who had babies and know there isn’t a priority issue between sleeping and eating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age?
What health problems do you have to cause such concern in him?
Are you not addressing them and getting in better shape?

33. No healthy problems. ER said it was just dehydration from not eating/drinking enough the first week.

I have been eating and drinking more but it’s not enough for him.

What does the bolded part mean?

She has a 2 week old baby, is what I’m reading.

OP, breastfeeding and healing after birth DO require you to stay hydrated, and nourished! I was shocked at how hungry I was after my milk supply really ramped up. I would add electrolytes to your water - your DH might back off on pushing water constantly.

I’m sure your DH is worried about you, but likely not at his best either, since you’re both dealing with a big change in your lives. It isn’t possible him to know how it feels to have just given birth, so he’s trying to support you the best way he knows. Your hormones are also still all over the place. So try to give each other grace, while figuring it all out together.

I was not drinking enough and only eating 2 protein shakes and dinner. Now I’m eating more, drinking 64oz of water, and using 1 electrolyte powder a day. He still think that’s not enough. He thinks I need to eat larger portions, snacks, and drink a gallon of water a day.

I eat now
Times vary

8am: 2 scrambled eggs in butter with 2 chicken sausages and 1/2 avocado. This keeps me full for very long or a greek yogurt bowl with granola and fruit.

12pm: Salad with chicken and 1/2 avocado. Probably 2 cups of salad. I’ve been loving chicken Caesar salad.

4pm: Some kind of snack as I previously listed. Usually 1 string cheese and 1 cup fruit.

8pm: Dinner has been pasta, burger bowls, or easy chicken and veggies. I eat a whole burger + sides, a large chicken breast + 1-2 cups veggies, or maybe 2 cups pasta with ground beef sauce and cheese.

I have been drinking 64oz of water, 1 glass of apple juice with breakfast, and 1 drip drip electrolyte mixed in my water. I drink when I feel thirsty.

I think this is plenty of food. I don’t feel dizzy or weak anymore. My husband thinks I need to eat more and should be snacking at 10am, 2pm, and 1-2 snacks after dinner and throughout the night. He thinks I need almost a gallon of water a day but I can’t drink all of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah OP has an eating disorder she doesn't want to admit too. She's freaking out because she's one week postpartum and hasn't lost the baby weight yet. Most women who are breast feeding are hungry all the time. It uses up a lot of energy.

Not true. You’re way off the mark. I prioritized sleep the first week. I’m eating plenty now but my husband still thinks it’s not enough. I eat every 4 hours 4 times a day. Thats plenty.

Do you understand how f-ed up your eating has to be for you to end up in the hospital? You are talking to a board full of women who had babies and know there isn’t a priority issue between sleeping and eating.

It is. I have zero desire to lose weight. My focus in on breastfeeding, bonding, and sleeping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah OP has an eating disorder she doesn't want to admit too. She's freaking out because she's one week postpartum and hasn't lost the baby weight yet. Most women who are breast feeding are hungry all the time. It uses up a lot of energy.

Not true. You’re way off the mark. I prioritized sleep the first week. I’m eating plenty now but my husband still thinks it’s not enough. I eat every 4 hours 4 times a day. Thats plenty.

I don't get this. I just finished dinner. It took me all of 20 minutes to eat, and I'm a slow eater. How long does it take you to eat a meal?

[Anonymous]

Do you have close family around? He likely feels responsible for you and the baby and realized how vulnerable you are. I get that it's annoying, but he's right to be concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now I’m eating more, drinking 64oz of water, and using 1 electrolyte powder a day. He still think that’s not enough. He thinks I need to eat larger portions, snacks, and drink a gallon of water a day...He thinks I need almost a gallon of water a day but I can’t drink all of that.

WebMD sides with your husband here:

"Breast milk is made of 88% water, so getting enough water is very important for your breast milk production, Ornelas says. “When you’re breastfeeding, [your water intake should] increase even more because your body is working nonstop to make the breast milk,” she says. “The recommendation is about 125 ounces, which is 16 cups. That’s a lot of water.”

Not only do you need this water to help produce breast milk, but you also lose about 25 ounces of water through your breast milk every day, which needs to be replaced. And again, if you’re in a very warm place and sweating a lot, you’ll need even more. "

https://www.webmd.com/baby/what-to-know-staying-hydrated-while-pregnant-breastfeeding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now I’m eating more, drinking 64oz of water, and using 1 electrolyte powder a day. He still think that’s not enough. He thinks I need to eat larger portions, snacks, and drink a gallon of water a day...He thinks I need almost a gallon of water a day but I can’t drink all of that.

WebMD sides with your husband here:

"Breast milk is made of 88% water, so getting enough water is very important for your breast milk production, Ornelas says. “When you’re breastfeeding, [your water intake should] increase even more because your body is working nonstop to make the breast milk,” she says. “The recommendation is about 125 ounces, which is 16 cups. That’s a lot of water.”

Not only do you need this water to help produce breast milk, but you also lose about 25 ounces of water through your breast milk every day, which needs to be replaced. And again, if you’re in a very warm place and sweating a lot, you’ll need even more. "

https://www.webmd.com/baby/what-to-know-staying-hydrated-while-pregnant-breastfeeding

Ok. I will eat another snack and drink more water. I just can’t force myself to drink a gallon of water.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you have a very devoted, sweet husband that is worried about you.

I don’t know how you weren’t ravenous after birth. I always gain weight breastfeeding because I get soooo hungry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now I’m eating more, drinking 64oz of water, and using 1 electrolyte powder a day. He still think that’s not enough. He thinks I need to eat larger portions, snacks, and drink a gallon of water a day...He thinks I need almost a gallon of water a day but I can’t drink all of that.

WebMD sides with your husband here:

"Breast milk is made of 88% water, so getting enough water is very important for your breast milk production, Ornelas says. “When you’re breastfeeding, [your water intake should] increase even more because your body is working nonstop to make the breast milk,” she says. “The recommendation is about 125 ounces, which is 16 cups. That’s a lot of water.”

Not only do you need this water to help produce breast milk, but you also lose about 25 ounces of water through your breast milk every day, which needs to be replaced. And again, if you’re in a very warm place and sweating a lot, you’ll need even more. "

https://www.webmd.com/baby/what-to-know-staying-hydrated-while-pregnant-breastfeeding

Ok. I will eat another snack and drink more water. I just can’t force myself to drink a gallon of water.

Drink more milk. It's Natures perfect food. Has everything you need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now I’m eating more, drinking 64oz of water, and using 1 electrolyte powder a day. He still think that’s not enough. He thinks I need to eat larger portions, snacks, and drink a gallon of water a day...He thinks I need almost a gallon of water a day but I can’t drink all of that.

WebMD sides with your husband here:

"Breast milk is made of 88% water, so getting enough water is very important for your breast milk production, Ornelas says. “When you’re breastfeeding, [your water intake should] increase even more because your body is working nonstop to make the breast milk,” she says. “The recommendation is about 125 ounces, which is 16 cups. That’s a lot of water.”

Not only do you need this water to help produce breast milk, but you also lose about 25 ounces of water through your breast milk every day, which needs to be replaced. And again, if you’re in a very warm place and sweating a lot, you’ll need even more. "

https://www.webmd.com/baby/what-to-know-staying-hydrated-while-pregnant-breastfeeding

Ok. I will eat another snack and drink more water. I just can’t force myself to drink a gallon of water.

Drink more milk. It's Natures perfect food. Has everything you need.

I don’t drink milk. Never have. I don’t like it.

[Anonymous]

This isn’t a situation for “boundaries.” This isn’t some meddlesome mother in law. This is your husband, your partner, the love of your life, who just watched you birth his child and then land in the hospital from not eating and drinking enough. Of course he’s scared! And anxious. And pushing food and water. He’s trying to take care of you and he’s probably terrified.

Stop with the boundaries crap, thank your lucky stars for such a loving, caring husband, and anytime he brings you a snack or a cup of water, take at least a bite or a sip. You were in the hospital for dehydration a WEEK ago. If you continue to do well and eat more and he sees you healthy and well fed over the course of the next month, he’ll relax and back off. You can revisit in a month or two if it still seems over the top to you.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, everyone is ganging up on OP. It’s ok for him to be worried about her, but not ok for him to dictate what she eats and drinks. It just isn’t. She has bodily autonomy and doesn’t cede that just because she had a baby.

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now I’m eating more, drinking 64oz of water, and using 1 electrolyte powder a day. He still think that’s not enough. He thinks I need to eat larger portions, snacks, and drink a gallon of water a day...He thinks I need almost a gallon of water a day but I can’t drink all of that.

WebMD sides with your husband here:

"Breast milk is made of 88% water, so getting enough water is very important for your breast milk production, Ornelas says. “When you’re breastfeeding, [your water intake should] increase even more because your body is working nonstop to make the breast milk,” she says. “The recommendation is about 125 ounces, which is 16 cups. That’s a lot of water.”

Not only do you need this water to help produce breast milk, but you also lose about 25 ounces of water through your breast milk every day, which needs to be replaced. And again, if you’re in a very warm place and sweating a lot, you’ll need even more. "

https://www.webmd.com/baby/what-to-know-staying-hydrated-while-pregnant-breastfeeding

Ok. I will eat another snack and drink more water. I just can’t force myself to drink a gallon of water.

OP I'm siding with WebMD and your DH because one gallon of water per day is what I drank with both of my newborns. One pint of water every three hours adds up to a gallon. Eating and drinking enough is essential for breastfeeding.