Had an argument with an old friend and they brought in lots of petty off topic jabs, including a dig about my husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this argument just opened the flood gates for all the things that she doesn't like about you. If you probably look deep, it hasn't been that great of a friendship.

Ironically I am not nearly as upset about anything she said about me, other than it was immature to bring up something from years ago that was really nothing. It was that she brought in my relationship with my husband. She’s single fwiw. It almost seemed like jealousy in a way

But you’re upset because objectively she’s correct.

That’s why it bothered you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this argument just opened the flood gates for all the things that she doesn't like about you. If you probably look deep, it hasn't been that great of a friendship.

Ironically I am not nearly as upset about anything she said about me, other than it was immature to bring up something from years ago that was really nothing. It was that she brought in my relationship with my husband. She’s single fwiw. It almost seemed like jealousy in a way

Not every single woman is jealous of the often crappy marriages we see around us OP

This.

They are disappointed that you settled.

[Anonymous]

What did you do that made her upset?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just be done with her. This person is not a friend and has never been a friend.

Do not agree with her as pp suggested. Do not respond and drop her

This.

[Anonymous]

Doesn’t matter whether her reasons for being upset were valid or even if her comments were factually true - when a friendship gets to this point it’s over. Why would you want to stay friends with someone who says things that are hurtful and make you upset?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah OP, i'd be done with this one. No idea what the argument/topic was, why or how it escalated but the personal attacks, the holding on to stuff, the dig at the husband- I'd just agree with her on everything and then go no contact. She's likely always been a dirty fighter or a broken person but clearly you are noticing now or it's bothering you now.

This. I’d be done with it. I’m too old to deal with drama.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand this. I do not have fights with my friends. If someone wants to fight, they aren’t much fun to be around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this argument just opened the flood gates for all the things that she doesn't like about you. If you probably look deep, it hasn't been that great of a friendship.

Ironically I am not nearly as upset about anything she said about me, other than it was immature to bring up something from years ago that was really nothing. It was that she brought in my relationship with my husband. She’s single fwiw. It almost seemed like jealousy in a way

If you're curious, this doesn't make you look good either. If the jab at your husband hurt you, perhaps there's some truth to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s not jealous. You sound as emotionally immature as she is, if you think she’s jealous of your relationship. That’s a very middle school thing to say.

Agreed. Sounds like you deserve each other.

[Anonymous]

My Mom fights dirty like this. Because she's my mother, I hung on longer than I should have.
I should have dumped her years ago.
There doesn't have to be drama. There doesn't have to be nastiness.
People get to act they way they want. You get to decide if you want to spend time with them.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she has had issues about you prior but never addressed them w/you and now she is just pouring it all in…..!!

It would be hard to continue this relationship due to the fact that everything she told you now cannot be unsaid or unheard.

If you stayed in this friendship wouldn’t you always be wondering if your “friend” was keeping something inside that she didn’t want to discuss now that might come out later on??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this. I do not have fights with my friends. If someone wants to fight, they aren’t much fun to be around.

Op. Yeah, she’s argumentative. It’s fine. It was a fairly silly discussion but then turned ugly. And fwiw she didn’t insult my husband substantively as some people want to assume (lots of negative trolls on here, it seems) but she made a flip comment about me having my husband to run to. Just dumb. And yea, she’s not married and has said she’s lonely, and I know there’s some resentment that I can’t always be there for her because I’m married and have my family.

She’s a dirty fighter. I’ve got to figure out if I can deal with it. I know it comes from a place of immaturity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s not jealous. You sound as emotionally immature as she is, if you think she’s jealous of your relationship. That’s a very middle school thing to say.

Well, perhaps I have more info than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this. I do not have fights with my friends. If someone wants to fight, they aren’t much fun to be around.

Op. Yeah, she’s argumentative. It’s fine. It was a fairly silly discussion but then turned ugly. And fwiw she didn’t insult my husband substantively as some people want to assume (lots of negative trolls on here, it seems) but she made a flip comment about me having my husband to run to. Just dumb. And yea, she’s not married and has said she’s lonely, and I know there’s some resentment that I can’t always be there for her because I’m married and have my family.

She’s a dirty fighter. I’ve got to figure out if I can deal with it. I know it comes from a place of immaturity

You both sound very immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this. I do not have fights with my friends. If someone wants to fight, they aren’t much fun to be around.

Op. Yeah, she’s argumentative. It’s fine. It was a fairly silly discussion but then turned ugly. And fwiw she didn’t insult my husband substantively as some people want to assume (lots of negative trolls on here, it seems) but she made a flip comment about me having my husband to run to. Just dumb. And yea, she’s not married and has said she’s lonely, and I know there’s some resentment that I can’t always be there for her because I’m married and have my family.

She’s a dirty fighter. I’ve got to figure out if I can deal with it. I know it comes from a place of immaturity

She’s not wrong in calling you lacking in the brains department.