Has anybody ran into this problem with coed high schools is it different now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Foohwtbs

Gesundheit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Foohwtbs

Gesundheit?

I was saying f word outta here with that bull 💩

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Foohwtbs

Gesundheit?

I was saying f word outta here with that bull 💩

lol that fits. I hadn’t seen that before.

[Anonymous]

Why do people take their singular life experience and assume it will therefore apply to everyone, everywhere, for all time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly--it's important to learn how to navigate your relative level of attractiveness in the world. I went to a girls' school and I was super focused on academics. My friends were the other straight-A students taking the most difficult classes. At a coed college, I still gravitated toward friendships with the brainiest women and didn't realize that my friendships would bust up when I got more dates (I know it's more complicated than that but still). I didn't think I was unattractive but was also aware I wasn't a supermodel--so I'd never really thought about my looks. Turns out I was relatively pretty and had never learned how to be sensitive about it. Someone more intuitive and socially adept surely would have figure it out on her own, but it took me a little trial and error I'm sad to say.

I was the same. I always thought of myself as a nerd. I was an introvert and academically focused. I was always surrounded by guys. I have lost many girlfriends due to the guy they liked liking me instead. I was popular with the boys and unpopular with the girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the "cool" kids are attractive. They are more likely to be the bullies than the bullied.

+1 the concept of the super attractive kids getting bullied is SNL-sketch material.

+1. I’ve never seen anyone get bullied for being good looking. Now, if he steals his friend’s girlfriend, talks incessantly about how good looking he is, etc., he might be disliked or even bullied. But that’s being disliked for being a jerk not for being good looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the "cool" kids are attractive. They are more likely to be the bullies than the bullied.

+1 the concept of the super attractive kids getting bullied is SNL-sketch material.

+1. I’ve never seen anyone get bullied for being good looking. Now, if he steals his friend’s girlfriend, talks incessantly about how good looking he is, etc., he might be disliked or even bullied. But that’s being disliked for being a jerk not for being good looking.

Really? Do you live in the real world?

My freshman year of college, I had a woman make up ugly rumors about me because a man she was crushing on told her he was attracted to me. I had zero attraction to the dork and never led him on. I was casually friendly like I was to all the guys in our class.

I went to a girls’ high school where almost no one dated so female rivalry wasn’t something I’d ever really encountered. I had no idea I was attractive to men. I didn’t think I was particularly attractive and didn’t much think about looks. My high school was great that way. What mattered was kindness and achievement, not looks.

Because I’d been part of a warm all-girls’ environment, I was shocked to find out how many women viciously and gleefully spread the rumors. They called me a slut and excluded me from gatherings and parties whenever they could. It took my closest girlfriends, who knew all this was BS, launching a counter-campaign to shut it down.

Men might not be as openly bullying but 9th/10th grade boys do get into fights over girls. The super manipulative girls actually feed into the male rivalry because they get off on it.

That said, if the good looks come with an alpha personality those are the boys who are often doing the bullying in high school.

[Anonymous]

Is your pretty boy even smart enough to get in? I highly doubt it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the "cool" kids are attractive. They are more likely to be the bullies than the bullied.

+1 the concept of the super attractive kids getting bullied is SNL-sketch material.

+1. I’ve never seen anyone get bullied for being good looking. Now, if he steals his friend’s girlfriend, talks incessantly about how good looking he is, etc., he might be disliked or even bullied. But that’s being disliked for being a jerk not for being good looking.

Really? Do you live in the real world?

My freshman year of college, I had a woman make up ugly rumors about me because a man she was crushing on told her he was attracted to me. I had zero attraction to the dork and never led him on. I was casually friendly like I was to all the guys in our class.

I went to a girls’ high school where almost no one dated so female rivalry wasn’t something I’d ever really encountered. I had no idea I was attractive to men. I didn’t think I was particularly attractive and didn’t much think about looks. My high school was great that way. What mattered was kindness and achievement, not looks.

Because I’d been part of a warm all-girls’ environment, I was shocked to find out how many women viciously and gleefully spread the rumors. They called me a slut and excluded me from gatherings and parties whenever they could. It took my closest girlfriends, who knew all this was BS, launching a counter-campaign to shut it down.

Men might not be as openly bullying but 9th/10th grade boys do get into fights over girls. The super manipulative girls actually feed into the male rivalry because they get off on it.

That said, if the good looks come with an alpha personality those are the boys who are often doing the bullying in high school.

Well you clearly didn’t attend NCS.

I’m very confused by posters claiming to have no concept of their own attractiveness because they went to single-sex schools. Are you Amish? Did you not pick up a magazine or watch any TV or movies? Cultural norms of attractiveness are steeped into the adolescent experience regardless of where you went to school. I went to a girls school from 7th-12th and I didn’t care that I was of fairly average attractiveness, but I knew it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the "cool" kids are attractive. They are more likely to be the bullies than the bullied.

+1 the concept of the super attractive kids getting bullied is SNL-sketch material.

+1. I’ve never seen anyone get bullied for being good looking. Now, if he steals his friend’s girlfriend, talks incessantly about how good looking he is, etc., he might be disliked or even bullied. But that’s being disliked for being a jerk not for being good looking.

Really? Do you live in the real world?

My freshman year of college, I had a woman make up ugly rumors about me because a man she was crushing on told her he was attracted to me. I had zero attraction to the dork and never led him on. I was casually friendly like I was to all the guys in our class.

I went to a girls’ high school where almost no one dated so female rivalry wasn’t something I’d ever really encountered. I had no idea I was attractive to men. I didn’t think I was particularly attractive and didn’t much think about looks. My high school was great that way. What mattered was kindness and achievement, not looks.

Because I’d been part of a warm all-girls’ environment, I was shocked to find out how many women viciously and gleefully spread the rumors. They called me a slut and excluded me from gatherings and parties whenever they could. It took my closest girlfriends, who knew all this was BS, launching a counter-campaign to shut it down.

Men might not be as openly bullying but 9th/10th grade boys do get into fights over girls. The super manipulative girls actually feed into the male rivalry because they get off on it.

That said, if the good looks come with an alpha personality those are the boys who are often doing the bullying in high school.

Well you clearly didn’t attend NCS.

I’m very confused by posters claiming to have no concept of their own attractiveness because they went to single-sex schools. Are you Amish? Did you not pick up a magazine or watch any TV or movies? Cultural norms of attractiveness are steeped into the adolescent experience regardless of where you went to school. I went to a girls school from 7th-12th and I didn’t care that I was of fairly average attractiveness, but I knew it.

Didn’t read teen magazines. Didn’t watch a lot of TV. Did watch a lot of movies. Cultural norms did seep in. Didn’t think I was attractive because I wasn’t blonde and blue-eyed. Didn’t have much contact with boys so it really wasn’t a concern.

When I went to college I learned guys find different kinds of women attractive, that you can be considered pretty even if you’re not blond and blue-eyed. I think not being boy-focused, not being on the hunt, having my own life, and being confident intellectually probably didn’t hurt.

DH told me I was “sexy” but seemed oblivious about it which he found attractive. He also liked that I wasn’t manipulative like many girls he’d dated. He was gorgeous and had been chased by girls a lot. He liked that I seemed interested in him as a friend and study partner, not as a potential boyfriend. TBH I saw myself as a dorky intellectual and wasn’t interested in dating.

As for sexy, I think that’s somewhat indefinable. Maybe some girls know about their own sexiness at age 17 or 18 but I was pretty innocent. I’m glad that my high school allowed me to keep that innocence for a while longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the "cool" kids are attractive. They are more likely to be the bullies than the bullied.

+1 the concept of the super attractive kids getting bullied is SNL-sketch material.

+1. I’ve never seen anyone get bullied for being good looking. Now, if he steals his friend’s girlfriend, talks incessantly about how good looking he is, etc., he might be disliked or even bullied. But that’s being disliked for being a jerk not for being good looking.

Really? Do you live in the real world?

My freshman year of college, I had a woman make up ugly rumors about me because a man she was crushing on told her he was attracted to me. I had zero attraction to the dork and never led him on. I was casually friendly like I was to all the guys in our class.

I went to a girls’ high school where almost no one dated so female rivalry wasn’t something I’d ever really encountered. I had no idea I was attractive to men. I didn’t think I was particularly attractive and didn’t much think about looks. My high school was great that way. What mattered was kindness and achievement, not looks.

Because I’d been part of a warm all-girls’ environment, I was shocked to find out how many women viciously and gleefully spread the rumors. They called me a slut and excluded me from gatherings and parties whenever they could. It took my closest girlfriends, who knew all this was BS, launching a counter-campaign to shut it down.

Men might not be as openly bullying but 9th/10th grade boys do get into fights over girls. The super manipulative girls actually feed into the male rivalry because they get off on it.

That said, if the good looks come with an alpha personality those are the boys who are often doing the bullying in high school.

Well you clearly didn’t attend NCS.

I’m very confused by posters claiming to have no concept of their own attractiveness because they went to single-sex schools. Are you Amish? Did you not pick up a magazine or watch any TV or movies? Cultural norms of attractiveness are steeped into the adolescent experience regardless of where you went to school. I went to a girls school from 7th-12th and I didn’t care that I was of fairly average attractiveness, but I knew it.

I’m not the PP, but I went to NCS, was very middle-of-the-road in popularity, academics, and attractiveness, and I loved my high school experience, particularly the close friendships I formed. Agree that people are aware of their own attractiveness. and those who aren’t are probably missing larger social cues, which might be the reason they struggled socially (ahem, PP)

That said, I currently have a son and daughter in coed elementary and middle schools and find the various insight interesting.

[Anonymous]

“… and everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room”

—Ani DiFranco, 32 Flavors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“… and everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room”

—Ani DiFranco, 32 Flavors

ESPECIALLY if the prettiest girl in the room claims to be unaware of her attractiveness and shocked, simply shocked! that boys flock to her. 🤣

[Anonymous]

Boys generally don't get that jealous over looks. If he's popular with girls, that will improve his social status among boys. If your son is good at sports, that will help him make friends and become more popular.

Never in history has a guy been disadvantaged in high school for being considered "hot" by their peers. Let's be real, here.