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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Most of the "cool" kids are attractive. They are more likely to be the bullies than the bullied.[/quote]

+1 the concept of the super attractive kids getting bullied is SNL-sketch material.[/quote]

+1.  I’ve never seen anyone get bullied for being good looking.  Now, if he steals his friend’s girlfriend, talks incessantly about how good looking he is, etc., he might be disliked or even bullied.  But that’s being disliked for being a jerk not for being good looking.[/quote]

Really? Do you live in the real world?

My freshman year of college, I had a woman make up ugly rumors about me because a man she was crushing on told her he was attracted to me. I had zero attraction to the dork and never led him on. I was casually friendly like I was to all the guys in our class.

I went to a girls’ high school where almost no one dated so female rivalry wasn’t something I’d ever really encountered. I had no idea I was attractive to men. I didn’t think I was particularly attractive and didn’t much think about looks. My high school was great that way. What mattered was kindness and achievement, not looks.

Because I’d been part of a warm all-girls’ environment, I was shocked to find out how many women viciously and gleefully spread the rumors. They called me a slut and excluded me from gatherings and parties whenever they could. It took my closest girlfriends, who knew all this was BS, launching a counter-campaign to shut it down.

Men might not be as openly bullying but 9th/10th grade boys do get into fights over girls. The super manipulative girls actually feed into the male rivalry because they get off on it.

That said, if the good looks come with an alpha personality those are the boys who are often doing the bullying in high school.[/quote]
Well you clearly didn’t attend NCS.

I’m very confused by posters claiming to have no concept of their own attractiveness because they went to single-sex schools. Are you Amish? Did you not pick up a magazine or watch any TV or movies? Cultural norms of attractiveness are steeped into the adolescent experience regardless of where you went to school. I went to a girls school from 7th-12th and I didn’t care that I was of fairly average attractiveness, but I knew it.[/quote]

Didn’t read teen magazines. Didn’t watch a lot of TV. Did watch a lot of movies. Cultural norms did seep in. Didn’t think I was attractive because I wasn’t blonde and blue-eyed. Didn’t have much contact with boys so it really wasn’t a concern.

When I went to college I learned guys find different kinds of women attractive, that you can be considered pretty even if you’re not blond and blue-eyed. I think not being boy-focused, not being on the hunt, having my own life, and being confident intellectually probably didn’t hurt.

DH told me I was “sexy” but seemed oblivious about it which he found attractive. He also liked that I wasn’t manipulative like many girls he’d dated. He was gorgeous and had been chased by girls a lot. He liked that I seemed interested in him as a friend and study partner, not as a potential boyfriend. TBH I saw myself as a dorky intellectual and wasn’t interested in dating.

As for sexy, I think that’s somewhat indefinable. Maybe some girls know about their own sexiness at age 17 or 18 but I was pretty innocent. I’m glad that my high school allowed me to keep that innocence for a while longer.
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