Having so many issues not sure what to tackle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids need to pay their own way through school or to community college you can’t afford it. Sell the house, move where COL is cheaper, tell the kids to try community college, and work on your marriage. You cannot afford to be alone at almost 60.

Pfft. Panic response. NP here, suddenly alone at nearly 60. I'm not scared. I'm pivoting and happy. This was not my plan but here I am. Sometimes life just lifes. I look for the gifts in the earthquake that rocked my world.

[Anonymous]

If you divorce tomorrow, he will get half of your savings. You know, community property.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you divorce tomorrow, he will get half of your savings. You know, community property.

He likely wouldn't try to take it. It's in my name. He's not vindictive. Pretty much said we could sell the house and I can keep funds

[Anonymous]

Just divorce now. It sounds like the monkey issues will only get worse. No one says you two could not get back together after a divorce anyway. But it would be wise to separate yourself from his financial mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Your family needs money and you refuse to pay anything? You see it as his money and your money, THAT’S why your marriage is failing.

He has hundred thousand tied up in silly thing he can get refunded but won't. He's had emotional affair and travels the world on the company dime that is now failing. So I'm keeping my savings in case he leaves. Obviously not if it was dire.

This attitude you have is just as bad if not worse than anything he is doing financially. That kind of attitude will ruin you. Sounds like that’s what you want though because now he doesn’t have money you want divorce. Is that it? Or you just like blaming him for everything? From this angle you’re sabotaging and he’s at least trying.

What do you mean? Sorry I'm definitely not conveying this properly. What attitude? He's trying how? I don't care about money in the least. Drive an old car don't shop or care about any of that. Just want to be able to pay our bills and not plow through our savings or liquidate assets.

You're doing the right thing to play defense. If he is a train wreck plowing through assets and refuses to get a job, the sooner you divorce, the better. It sounds like you want a divorce from your post—lots of resentment. If so, you should consider moving fast to stop the bleeding. Make it amicable so the kids ' college funds don't get drained.

How would divorce help? It's so $$$. Also why would kids college be affected? Lastly I don't want one at this point. But I'm just so mad and he would likely be the one to initiate as he has indicated he wants to feel more alive passion
Vitality and has had a spiritual awakening the last decade.

This sounds like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. You've got a husband who doesn't want to be with you, spending down your nest egg with no plans to contribute.

[Anonymous]

How much do you each have in retirement accounts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much do you each have in retirement accounts?

Maybe $500k me. More for him maybe 1M?

[Anonymous]

Am I being unreasonable for being annoyed and resentful

[Anonymous]

So is he just letting the business die? It can't be salvaged?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So is he just letting the business die? It can't be salvaged?

I mean he may try but he's been checked out of it for years and barely working on things (he may disagree) so I don't see how it will be but you never know. His head is in the clouds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married 23 years: DH entrepreneur and had much success for many years. I worked with him for 10-15 years but then for various reasons started my own part time stuff. Family dynamics and imo poorly run business. Now here we are on the verge of the biz collapsing. I feel bad for him but I am so mad he let things get this bad. He said he refuses to get a job ever. He's supported us for 25 years and is an entrepreneur - doubt he would get hired. I have a PT job and looking for FT or another PT to add. I just lost one.

He's been selling stocks or Bitcoin to cover bills on months we need it. I refuse to touch my savings. He doesn't have savings just money in market. I wake up in a panic.

In addition our marriage is in crisis and has been and we are hanging by a thread hoping to make it work. (At least I am I guess but I am super resentful) Empty nest soon. Luckily we do have 529 for most of college. I don't know who will hire me in mid 50's and I don't know best way to pay for things during this time.

Feel like whack a mole and just stressed to the max. Will sell our house prob next year or two but still owe a lot and then where do we live? Kids need a place to come back to.

lol

Troll post gone too far.

Sorry folks, nothing true to see here.

[Anonymous]

Let’s assume the OP is real. Have you sat down and created a one income lifestyle? Immediately, stop hemorrhaging money. That means cable, streaming services, perhaps selling a vehicle, food and meal deliveries services and going out to eat. I would add vacations to the list also. One of you needs to be a realist—perhaps this will inspire him to find gainful employment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I being unreasonable for being annoyed and resentful

Your position is that your husband should make the money and you don’t need to. Yes, that’s unreasonable.