Having so many issues not sure what to tackle

[Anonymous]

Married 23 years: DH entrepreneur and had much success for many years. I worked with him for 10-15 years but then for various reasons started my own part time stuff. Family dynamics and imo poorly run business. Now here we are on the verge of the biz collapsing. I feel bad for him but I am so mad he let things get this bad. He said he refuses to get a job ever. He's supported us for 25 years and is an entrepreneur - doubt he would get hired. I have a PT job and looking for FT or another PT to add. I just lost one.

He's been selling stocks or Bitcoin to cover bills on months we need it. I refuse to touch my savings. He doesn't have savings just money in market. I wake up in a panic.

In addition our marriage is in crisis and has been and we are hanging by a thread hoping to make it work. (At least I am I guess but I am super resentful) Empty nest soon. Luckily we do have 529 for most of college. I don't know who will hire me in mid 50's and I don't know best way to pay for things during this time.

Feel like whack a mole and just stressed to the max. Will sell our house prob next year or two but still owe a lot and then where do we live? Kids need a place to come back to.

[Anonymous]

Your family needs money and you refuse to pay anything? You see it as his money and your money, THAT’S why your marriage is failing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your family needs money and you refuse to pay anything? You see it as his money and your money, THAT’S why your marriage is failing.

He has hundred thousand tied up in silly thing he can get refunded but won't. He's had emotional affair and travels the world on the company dime that is now failing. So I'm keeping my savings in case he leaves. Obviously not if it was dire.

[Anonymous]

You should of divorced that man years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your family needs money and you refuse to pay anything? You see it as his money and your money, THAT’S why your marriage is failing.

He has hundred thousand tied up in silly thing he can get refunded but won't. He's had emotional affair and travels the world on the company dime that is now failing. So I'm keeping my savings in case he leaves. Obviously not if it was dire.

Keep your money for the next chapter of your life. Sounds like divorce would be a relief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your family needs money and you refuse to pay anything? You see it as his money and your money, THAT’S why your marriage is failing.

He has hundred thousand tied up in silly thing he can get refunded but won't. He's had emotional affair and travels the world on the company dime that is now failing. So I'm keeping my savings in case he leaves. Obviously not if it was dire.

This attitude you have is just as bad if not worse than anything he is doing financially. That kind of attitude will ruin you. Sounds like that’s what you want though because now he doesn’t have money you want divorce. Is that it? Or you just like blaming him for everything? From this angle you’re sabotaging and he’s at least trying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your family needs money and you refuse to pay anything? You see it as his money and your money, THAT’S why your marriage is failing.

He has hundred thousand tied up in silly thing he can get refunded but won't. He's had emotional affair and travels the world on the company dime that is now failing. So I'm keeping my savings in case he leaves. Obviously not if it was dire.

This attitude you have is just as bad if not worse than anything he is doing financially. That kind of attitude will ruin you. Sounds like that’s what you want though because now he doesn’t have money you want divorce. Is that it? Or you just like blaming him for everything? From this angle you’re sabotaging and he’s at least trying.

What do you mean? Sorry I'm definitely not conveying this properly. What attitude? He's trying how? I don't care about money in the least. Drive an old car don't shop or care about any of that. Just want to be able to pay our bills and not plow through our savings or liquidate assets.

[Anonymous]

$20 a day in the market for the last 30 years would have given you one million. One million right now gives you 8% forever. All this inside of Roth would be tax free.
How is $70k not help? Where is the money?
Restaurants are hiring. 529 is not as good of a deal as you think. Can't take tuition credit if eligible if you use 529.
I'd leave him if I could do fine on my own and he is the drag. He seems stubborn as heck. I bet you all had the money, but you simply spent it. Also, stocks and crypto - you make money using them. You don't use them up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your family needs money and you refuse to pay anything? You see it as his money and your money, THAT’S why your marriage is failing.

He has hundred thousand tied up in silly thing he can get refunded but won't. He's had emotional affair and travels the world on the company dime that is now failing. So I'm keeping my savings in case he leaves. Obviously not if it was dire.

This attitude you have is just as bad if not worse than anything he is doing financially. That kind of attitude will ruin you. Sounds like that’s what you want though because now he doesn’t have money you want divorce. Is that it? Or you just like blaming him for everything? From this angle you’re sabotaging and he’s at least trying.

What do you mean? Sorry I'm definitely not conveying this properly. What attitude? He's trying how? I don't care about money in the least. Drive an old car don't shop or care about any of that. Just want to be able to pay our bills and not plow through our savings or liquidate assets.

You're doing the right thing to play defense. If he is a train wreck plowing through assets and refuses to get a job, the sooner you divorce, the better. It sounds like you want a divorce from your post—lots of resentment. If so, you should consider moving fast to stop the bleeding. Make it amicable so the kids ' college funds don't get drained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$20 a day in the market for the last 30 years would have given you one million. One million right now gives you 8% forever. All this inside of Roth would be tax free.
How is $70k not help? Where is the money?
Restaurants are hiring. 529 is not as good of a deal as you think. Can't take tuition credit if eligible if you use 529.
I'd leave him if I could do fine on my own and he is the drag. He seems stubborn as heck. I bet you all had the money, but you simply spent it. Also, stocks and crypto - you make money using them. You don't use them up.

We saved a lot, but also bought a house, had kids and traveled etc. travel sports, life expenses. We live a modest life. And what's done is done. It's not about what we should or could have saved. We have different money mindsets to begin with but didn't become apparent until things went sideways.

[Anonymous]

Why are you selling stock when you have liquid assets?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your family needs money and you refuse to pay anything? You see it as his money and your money, THAT’S why your marriage is failing.

He has hundred thousand tied up in silly thing he can get refunded but won't. He's had emotional affair and travels the world on the company dime that is now failing. So I'm keeping my savings in case he leaves. Obviously not if it was dire.

This attitude you have is just as bad if not worse than anything he is doing financially. That kind of attitude will ruin you. Sounds like that’s what you want though because now he doesn’t have money you want divorce. Is that it? Or you just like blaming him for everything? From this angle you’re sabotaging and he’s at least trying.

What do you mean? Sorry I'm definitely not conveying this properly. What attitude? He's trying how? I don't care about money in the least. Drive an old car don't shop or care about any of that. Just want to be able to pay our bills and not plow through our savings or liquidate assets.

You're doing the right thing to play defense. If he is a train wreck plowing through assets and refuses to get a job, the sooner you divorce, the better. It sounds like you want a divorce from your post—lots of resentment. If so, you should consider moving fast to stop the bleeding. Make it amicable so the kids ' college funds don't get drained.

How would divorce help? It's so $$$. Also why would kids college be affected? Lastly I don't want one at this point. But I'm just so mad and he would likely be the one to initiate as he has indicated he wants to feel more alive passion
Vitality and has had a spiritual awakening the last decade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you selling stock when you have liquid assets?

Bc savings would be gone in a year or two if we used that and then what?

[Anonymous]

Your kids need to pay their own way through school or to community college you can’t afford it. Sell the house, move where COL is cheaper, tell the kids to try community college, and work on your marriage. You cannot afford to be alone at almost 60.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids need to pay their own way through school or to community college you can’t afford it. Sell the house, move where COL is cheaper, tell the kids to try community college, and work on your marriage. You cannot afford to be alone at almost 60.

We have college money in 529 so luckily kids are not affected. Their college is fine. Our issues won't become theirs.