Cosmetic surgery- unreasonable to want them to get in shape first?

[Anonymous]

You guys are talking as if 15 pounds is morbid obesity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys are talking as if 15 pounds is morbid obesity.

It doesn't make sense. 15 lbs is vanity weight, like the difference between a size zero and a size 2/4. The woman wants 40k in plastic surgery, I do not think this is a 300 lb person where 15 lbs is going to move the needle on whether it’s safe to operate. More like, should she be in absolute peak physical form or kind of soft.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have no problem dropping $40k on cosmetic surgery. But you said she should lose the 20-30 pounds first to make it worthwhile.

Why are you even bothering with this? Wouldn’t it be better to hide your assets first, and then divorce your wife. Then you can go on the dating market and have $40k in cosmetic improvements to offer someone who already doesn’t have those thirty pounds and comes in hotter before the surgery. You could mandate breast enhancement surgery as a non-negotiable item on the $40k agenda.

[Anonymous]

I think OP’s wife should first lose the 150-250 lb. lump that’s dragging her down. Then see how she likes life on her own — she may not need surgery after all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dw wants about 30-40k worth of cosmetic work done. I do not mind paying for it but she probably needs to lose 15-20lbs to look a lot better.

I am in excellent shape and work hard to maintain my body so I know it takes a decent level of discipline. I am not expecting her to look like a fitness model - but is it unreasonable to mention or want her to work out/get in better shape before I agree to pay for the procedures?

She works but does not have 40k laying around and my job pays more/bonuses making it not a big deal to pay for.

You not considering your joint income as belonging to both of you is a way bigger marital issue than 15 pounds.

This. The idea that “you” are paying for it is a little much if you two have kids, which is closely correlated to changes in a woman’s body.

Oh give me a break. Yes, he earned the money and is paying for it. The wife should have a little discipline and cleanup her diet and exercise. I would not pay for this . Ridiculous. Maybe try the shot if need to lose weight. Much cheaper. Woman here.

[Anonymous]

I think I hear where you are coming from, OP. If she is concerned about her looks, then you want her to do some kind of work rather than just “throwing money” at it.

But man, if I told my husband that I wanted cosmetic surgery and he responded by telling me that I need to do the work to lost 15-20 lbs first, I would be pretty crushed. At the very least, I wouldn’t want to be naked around him anymore.

It honestly sounds to me like you think she looks fine and this cosmetic surgery would be just for her. So that’s what you should tell her. “I think you look great, surgery comes with a lot of risks and it’s really expensive, and I don’t want you to do it.”

This sounds like a pretty massive surgery that is going to cause her a lot of physical pain. This is not the first thing she’s tried to change her body. You guys both know that she isn’t going to lose 20lbs. If you don’t want her to have the surgery, then tell her that she’s beautiful in your eyes and you don’t want her to have the surgery. Don’t tie it to her weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you have no problem dropping $40k on cosmetic surgery. But you said she should lose the 20-30 pounds first to make it worthwhile.

Why are you even bothering with this? Wouldn’t it be better to hide your assets first, and then divorce your wife. Then you can go on the dating market and have $40k in cosmetic improvements to offer someone who already doesn’t have those thirty pounds and comes in hotter before the surgery. You could mandate breast enhancement surgery as a non-negotiable item on the $40k agenda.

Ha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dw wants about 30-40k worth of cosmetic work done. I do not mind paying for it but she probably needs to lose 15-20lbs to look a lot better.

I am in excellent shape and work hard to maintain my body so I know it takes a decent level of discipline. I am not expecting her to look like a fitness model - but is it unreasonable to mention or want her to work out/get in better shape before I agree to pay for the procedures?

She works but does not have 40k laying around and my job pays more/bonuses making it not a big deal to pay for.

You not considering your joint income as belonging to both of you is a way bigger marital issue than 15 pounds.

This. The idea that “you” are paying for it is a little much if you two have kids, which is closely correlated to changes in a woman’s body.

JFC.
Pretty sure if OP blew 40k of his bonus in Vegas DW wouldn’t be happy.
If he makes the money and it is going to her body he is paying for it. There are not many cosmetic procedures that benefit the family.

Unless boob job is in the mix, then of course any man is going to willingly pay for that.

She also makes money per his OP