Is this a good custody schedule for our kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you and your ex should consider what is the BEST living situation for your teen and tween children instead of being selfish and thinking about what is convenient for you.

What would you do in their case?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Needs to be the same days every week. Too chaotic.

It's the same days every week.

Ex DW: Monday/Tuesday every week
Me: Wednesday to Friday every week

Then we alternate weekends

Then it’s not the same each week, is it? They won’t remember whose house they’re at on weekends, which parent to ask about Friday night sleepover, Saturday sports, etc.

The kids are 12 and 15, they can keep track of their schedule or look at a calendar. They are likely to default to spending most of their time at their dad’s, which is fine. Sounds like mom can find ways to see them too with sports pick ups, etc. Riding in the car with your kids is some of the best time you can get with them at these ages.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the point of this schedule. Is someone trying to avoid paying child support? How is this good for the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Needs to be the same days every week. Too chaotic.

It's the same days every week.

Ex DW: Monday/Tuesday every week
Me: Wednesday to Friday every week

Then we alternate weekends

Then it’s not the same each week, is it? They won’t remember whose house they’re at on weekends, which parent to ask about Friday night sleepover, Saturday sports, etc.

The kids are 12 and 15, they can keep track of their schedule or look at a calendar. They are likely to default to spending most of their time at their dad’s, which is fine. Sounds like mom can find ways to see them too with sports pick ups, etc. Riding in the car with your kids is some of the best time you can get with them at these ages.

This is nonsense. Way too much to expect from a 6th and 9th grader.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Needs to be the same days every week. Too chaotic.

It's the same days every week.

Ex DW: Monday/Tuesday every week
Me: Wednesday to Friday every week

Then we alternate weekends

Then it’s not the same each week, is it? They won’t remember whose house they’re at on weekends, which parent to ask about Friday night sleepover, Saturday sports, etc.

The kids are 12 and 15, they can keep track of their schedule or look at a calendar. They are likely to default to spending most of their time at their dad’s, which is fine. Sounds like mom can find ways to see them too with sports pick ups, etc. Riding in the car with your kids is some of the best time you can get with them at these ages.[/quote]

100% this. It's about quality time not quantity. Between school, sports, friends I barely saw my parents when I was 15. I usually looked for them when I needed something lol.

The most important thing is that they know they have both of you. Your kids are lucky that their parents are not using them to settle their own scores.

My dad was a high level executive. I barely saw him. My mother had a busy career of her own. But I still love my parents. When they had time for us it was high quality time and I remember every moment. My best friend's parents were divorced and he saw his parents more than I saw mine.

Some on this forum are very anti divorce and for good reasons. But do keep in mind that some divorced people do see their kids more than you do in your nuclear family. Think about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you and your ex should consider what is the BEST living situation for your teen and tween children instead of being selfish and thinking about what is convenient for you.

What would you do in their case?

Do you think all this schlepping around and driving back and forth is the BEST plan for a 12 and 15 year old? Those poor kids. Their parents can't get along and now they have to deal with all this hassle because their parents are selfish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you and your ex should consider what is the BEST living situation for your teen and tween children instead of being selfish and thinking about what is convenient for you.

What would you do in their case?

Do you think all this schlepping around and driving back and forth is the BEST plan for a 12 and 15 year old? Those poor kids. Their parents can't get along and now they have to deal with all this hassle because their parents are selfish?

What would you do in their case? Help OP. We get it you are reighteous. You won! Now help them with an alternative schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ex DW will have the kids every Monday and Tuesday and every other weekend (Saturday and Sunday).

I will have the kids Wednesday to Sunday one week and Wednesday to Friday the next.

And during the week exDW will also drive them and pick them up from sports practice some of the days ( we will split them)

I am the designated primary parent. This work for us because the kids are staying in the school district with me and ex DW will be living in another district.

Our kids are 15 and 12.

Anyways used a similar schedule? DW works from home on Mondays and Tuesdays so that's how we came up with the schedule. We just don't want the kids traveling back and forth.

They are traveling back and forth all week so I don't think you really achieved this goal.

[Anonymous]

OP some people say that the best schedule is for mom to have full custody and dad very other weekend.

Maybe you guys can consider that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you and your ex should consider what is the BEST living situation for your teen and tween children instead of being selfish and thinking about what is convenient for you.

What would you do in their case?

Do you think all this schlepping around and driving back and forth is the BEST plan for a 12 and 15 year old? Those poor kids. Their parents can't get along and now they have to deal with all this hassle because their parents are selfish?

This poster is hysterical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP some people say that the best schedule is for mom to have full custody and dad very other weekend.

Maybe you guys can consider that.

It sounds like the dad is a lot closer to their school-mom is living in another school district.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP some people say that the best schedule is for mom to have full custody and dad very other weekend.

Maybe you guys can consider that.

+1. I think it's best if kids stay with one parent during school days as long as the parent is not living with a new partner. If not I will not recommend.

[Anonymous]

Is there any way for mom to get a place closer or for you the parents to rotate houses?. As it is there seems high potential for chaos and things to get lost or missed and the 15 to 20 minute commute is going to get old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Needs to be the same days every week. Too chaotic.

It's the same days every week.

Ex DW: Monday/Tuesday every week
Me: Wednesday to Friday every week

Then we alternate weekends

Then it’s not the same each week, is it? They won’t remember whose house they’re at on weekends, which parent to ask about Friday night sleepover, Saturday sports, etc.

The parent who has them on Saturday will do the sports. How often do kids have sleepover? It's not every week. This is the problem with you guys. The kids have already had their lives altered and you guys are already thinking which parent is going to be worse off.

I think this is a great schedule. And it's rare for men to be primary parent. So they seem to have found a good compromise.

My kids go to or host a sleepover each week.

[Anonymous]

I'm kind of shocked by all of the negativity in these responses... My ex and I had this exact schedule after we divorced (1 child who was 7 when we split up) and it worked well for all three of us. Mom was always with the kid for the M/Tu stuff and dad was always with the kid for the W/Th stuff, which gave us nice consistency. We lived 7 minutes apart and both of our houses were a 15 minute drive from kid's school, so if an item was left behind or needed to be dropped off it was not a problem.

Once kid reached 8th grade, they asked to not do the mid week switch so we changed the schedule to alternating weeks with each parent. At that point, ex and I were on good terms and had no problem with having the other parent take the kid out to dinner or do other stuff with them during the other parent's week.