We’re an odd couple

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend and I are total opposites. I’m short and he’s tall. I’m black he’s white. I’m conventionally attractive he’s not. Our politics are different. I’m white collar he’s blue collar. I’m traditional he’s nonconformist. I’m conservative looking and he has a huge neck tattoo. I’m from money he isn’t.

Despite all our differences we really love each other and want to get married. He is going to meet my family for the first time. I’m nervous. Anyone have advice for how to approach this? Do I give my family a heads up about our differences?

Does he have his own money? That will go a very long way with being accepted by the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unlike the movies, opposites rarely work out long term.

The advice above doesn’t much reflect the real world. I guess I think it’s odd not to describe your SO to your parents before meeting. If my kid is dating someone they tell us and we ask normal questions about their background…god forbid ask to send us a picture of the two of them doing something together.

I’ve never just met one of their SOs without seeing a picture of them or knowing something about them.

The PP above you has real world examples. You're extremely narrow-minded.

No they don’t. I mean it takes 13 hours to fly from LA to Portugal, yet just because it’s a different language the two could be similar demographics, values, etc.

Same with the age difference. An age difference doesn’t make you opposites.

[Anonymous]

Is he kind, respectful, polite, supportive, and loving? If so, if they criticize him over superficial issues, that's their problem and you can call them out on it. (If he's not, then their criticism might be valid.)

[Anonymous]

Kudos to the two of you for being so accepting of each other & for making it work despite your differences‼️

I would probably give my family a short, heads-up if you think your family may need one but overall it is not mandatory……

[Anonymous]

I'll give the opposite opinion.

If you know your family is judgemental like this, yes, give them a heads up.

My conservative Asian family weren't too surprised that I was dating a white guy, but I still told them.

DH gave his conservative white family a heads up, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll give the opposite opinion.

If you know your family is judgemental like this, yes, give them a heads up.

My conservative Asian family weren't too surprised that I was dating a white guy, but I still told them.

DH gave his conservative white family a heads up, too.

+1

Most reasonable response thus far in this thread in my view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend and I are total opposites. I’m short and he’s tall. I’m black he’s white. I’m conventionally attractive he’s not. Our politics are different. I’m white collar he’s blue collar. I’m traditional he’s nonconformist. I’m conservative looking and he has a huge neck tattoo. I’m from money he isn’t.

Despite all our differences we really love each other and want to get married. He is going to meet my family for the first time. I’m nervous. Anyone have advice for how to approach this? Do I give my family a heads up about our differences?

Does he have his own money? That will go a very long way with being accepted by the family.

+1 my conservative family accepted my different race DH in part because he was a good earner. If he was not, that would've been a huge negative - different background, race, AND doesn't earn much? No bueno. FWIW, they also didn't like my sister's same race DH because he didn't have a decent job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend and I are total opposites. I’m short and he’s tall. I’m black he’s white. I’m conventionally attractive he’s not. Our politics are different. I’m white collar he’s blue collar. I’m traditional he’s nonconformist. I’m conservative looking and he has a huge neck tattoo. I’m from money he isn’t.

Despite all our differences we really love each other and want to get married. He is going to meet my family for the first time. I’m nervous. Anyone have advice for how to approach this? Do I give my family a heads up about our differences?

Do you not talk to your parents and haven't told them who you are dating and didn't they take interest and ask questions about him?

[Anonymous]

No, you think NOTHING of it and live your best life and don't think about this ever again.

[Anonymous]

One of that matters except politics because politics is morals. If he’s more conservative than you, RUN. Run like hell. If you’re the more conservative one, you’ll be fine.

[Anonymous]

I think dh and I might have been an odd couple. Same race though. I’m 14” shorter, wealthy family and his is blue collar, different political beliefs, vastly different hobbies. None of it has ever mattered and we’re blissfully happy 20 years later. The politics have been the only issue and only recently (since 1/20) because our families are such opposites and it’s been a big headache listening to our parents. Dh and I don’t talk politics and are very open minded. One family shouting how they’re glad their kids are losing their jobs gets old recently though.

Dh and I have the same core beliefs: hard work, kindness to each other, loving family, healthy eating. We both also come from loving marriages and our grandparents had such loving marriages too. We’ve changed a bit over the years too to become more centered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend and I are total opposites. I’m short and he’s tall. I’m black he’s white. I’m conventionally attractive he’s not. Our politics are different. I’m white collar he’s blue collar. I’m traditional he’s nonconformist. I’m conservative looking and he has a huge neck tattoo. I’m from money he isn’t.

Despite all our differences we really love each other and want to get married. He is going to meet my family for the first time. I’m nervous. Anyone have advice for how to approach this? Do I give my family a heads up about our differences?

Does he have his own money? That will go a very long way with being accepted by the family.

+1 my conservative family accepted my different race DH in part because he was a good earner. If he was not, that would've been a huge negative - different background, race, AND doesn't earn much? No bueno. FWIW, they also didn't like my sister's same race DH because he didn't have a decent job.

I could see that. A lot of things don’t matter when the partner is loving to their kid and makes their own money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of that matters except politics because politics is morals. If he’s more conservative than you, RUN. Run like hell. If you’re the more conservative one, you’ll be fine.

Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think dh and I might have been an odd couple. Same race though. I’m 14” shorter, wealthy family and his is blue collar, different political beliefs, vastly different hobbies. None of it has ever mattered and we’re blissfully happy 20 years later. The politics have been the only issue and only recently (since 1/20) because our families are such opposites and it’s been a big headache listening to our parents. Dh and I don’t talk politics and are very open minded. One family shouting how they’re glad their kids are losing their jobs gets old recently though.

Dh and I have the same core beliefs: hard work, kindness to each other, loving family, healthy eating. We both also come from loving marriages and our grandparents had such loving marriages too. We’ve changed a bit over the years too to become more centered.

What family is glad their own children are losing their jobs? Like their own kids work for the government and they are gloating because they are out of work?

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of my younger brother who introduced his gf to our parents. She comes from a poor family and we are a very wealthy family. My dad was cool, but my mom OMG. She asked my brother (and embarrassingly her as well) a million questions all of which centered around her background as if she was coming to rob the family. Anyways my mother is that way very condescending and entitled, a first class Karen I hate to say.