We butt heads over this aspect of vacation

[Anonymous]

I have the same issue with DH. The funny thing is, he was always going on about retiring early (which he now has), but he also likes to spend.

He's gotten a lot better over the years, though. But, previously, we did argue about his spending. GL to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a vacation problem, this is a budgeting problem. When you are budgeting everybody gets input into the plan and then everyone follows the plan.

Your budgeting every meal on vacation, you know exactly where and when you are going to eat, how hungry you will be, what you are in the mood for?

I never understand the free breakfast argument either, very few places is it actually free and very few places is the "free" something you want to eat.

[Anonymous]

You lost me at libations! Team husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not a vacation problem, this is a budgeting problem. When you are budgeting everybody gets input into the plan and then everyone follows the plan.

Your budgeting every meal on vacation, you know exactly where and when you are going to eat, how hungry you will be, what you are in the mood for?

I never understand the free breakfast argument either, very few places is it actually free and very few places is the "free" something you want to eat.

Thank you for this last paragraph, I feel so seen!

My DH is so into it but most of the time it's either gross and inedible or packaged junk I could have brought from home. (Not talking about actual resorts or a BnB etc)

[Anonymous]

It's nice that for you the financial difference doesn't matter. To me, it matters. We keep it simple, even on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Staying at a free breakfast place like Hampton or Hilton Garden Inn makes getting hammered in your room then staggering out to the pool to gnaw on Safeway snax suitable.
Staying at a resort, sneaking drinks in a Stanley cup is declasse.

[Anonymous]

In 10 years you won’t remember where you ate. You’ll remember arguing over it though. As long as you’re within budget who cares how you spend it? I guess if you want to persuade him you can say hey let’s eat breakfast for free and use that extra $100 for parasailing later. That kind of thing, but all within the spending money budget. Either way I don’t think this is something to argue about or get mad annoyed about while vacationing. Pre-plan and agree on a budget- separate it into food, excursions, whatever. At the end of the day though if you have the money for it then stop nickel and diming and just enjoy your time together.

[Anonymous]

When our kids were young and we’d go on vacation we’d often rent a house or a condo so that about half our meals could be in-house…..to avoid the $100 breakfast! Now that we are empty nesters we don’t worry about it. We are thoughtful about what we spend money on but we are going to really enjoy the trip.

[Anonymous]

The unspoken thing here is that you will enjoy a meal out more than one you bring yourself or make yourself. That’s just not the case in our family. We enjoy preparing our food and eating our packed lunches. We usually plan for one or two nice meals out on vacation But it’s just about your preferences and your overall budget. Of course you don’t have to budget every meal but you should have a general sense that you’re spending $50 a day or $250 a day on food. Then just keep a loose eye on it during the vacation and everyone can enjoy themselves

[Anonymous]

When I'm on vacation I don't want to futz in the kitchen at all beyond grabbing water or a bag of chips. So I'm Team DH.

[Anonymous]

We have had the same argument, and we are on the same “sides” as well (with me wanting to be more conservative with spending).

Part of it, IMHO, is that men eat more and tend to be more hungry for “real meals” than women (and often younger kids) are. The kids and I are happy to have a muffin and fruit for breakfast and just want for lunch. Or if we had a big breakfast we are happy to snack on cheese and crackers, fruit, veggies and dip or other munchies etc for lunch. For my DH: no. Not at home, and especially not on vacation. Could that be part of this? Not to stereotype but my friends note similar experiences (like when our husbands are out of town we eat lighter easy meals with the kids).

Anyway: compromise. My DH tends to concede breakfast if we are are not staying at a resort. Plus the kids usually want to get out to the beach or whatever we are doing, early. So we have muffins or bagels, fruit etc. Then we eat out for lunch and dinner.

My post is written as if you are staying at a condo or rental rather than a resort, based on the issue. If a resort, things are a bit different.

[Anonymous]

We split the difference. I'm happy to pay for convenience if it makes me or DH have a better time on vacation. But not pay for mediocrity. We stay at a specific resort usually where my credit card status gives us the $20 per person breakfast free. We spend that and more on poolside drinks as it's fun for us and the kids. We walk to dinner a few nights but order lunch from the hotel restaurant poolside or beach side as it's decent and I want ti kinimize dealing with kids at a table and cleaning them and changing into real clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In 10 years you won’t remember where you ate. You’ll remember arguing over it though. As long as you’re within budget who cares how you spend it? I guess if you want to persuade him you can say hey let’s eat breakfast for free and use that extra $100 for parasailing later. That kind of thing, but all within the spending money budget. Either way I don’t think this is something to argue about or get mad annoyed about while vacationing. Pre-plan and agree on a budget- separate it into food, excursions, whatever. At the end of the day though if you have the money for it then stop nickel and diming and just enjoy your time together.

Speak for yourself. I definitely remember meals and cocktails I had on vacation more than I remember arguments or parasailing.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't go cheap on food or drinks but I have a good friend who does, and she and her family travel much more. If you take 4 or 5 trips a year, I'd economize somewhat but because we hardly vacation, I'm not going to stint on any aspect of it.

[Anonymous]

I'm you OP. But I just have to let it go. I can tamp down his instincts a little but I won't fight it all. I just have to let DH spend a little more than I would like because its his trip too. And we are not on a strict budget, so YMMV if you are.