We butt heads over this aspect of vacation
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Anonymous
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We just returned from our “big” summer vacation, where we let loose and spoil ourselves. We budget for this trip and work it into our finances so the cost of the trip isn’t noticeable. We plan on taking a shorter, long-weekend road trip later this summer just to get away again before school. While lodging and activities aren’t a problem, it gets crazy when DH wants to spend a fortune on food and drinks just because we are on “vacation”. Where I am like, let’s pack ablations and snacks to have on the balcony or poolside, DH is more let’s just splurge on $15 cocktails from the pool bar and order an equally overpriced app from the restaurant. Or, the hotel has a made to order breakfast included, but he wants to try the fancy breakfast place where we will drop $100 on pancakes. At the end of the day it probably doesn’t matter, but it feels needlessly expensive, especially on a road trip where we could pack anything we need, or where a decent breakfast is available.
What’s the happy medium? How would you discuss this with him? |
Anonymous
| *libations, obviously! |
Anonymous
Well, I am him. Calories and money don't count on vacation. |
Anonymous
| Do hotels let guests bring their own alcohol & appetizers to the resort swimming pool ? |
Anonymous
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Eating at new places and trying new foods is one of my favorite vacation activities, maybe my very favorite. I can sit by a pool at eat snacks from home within walking distance from my house. I would much rather take a shorter vacation, or one where we drive rather than fly, than do that.
I think the question I would have is, if you want to add something that costs money to a trip, a more expensive hotel, or a flight, or an activity, or whatever, and it’s something that he doesn’t care much about, does it get added? Because it seems like the “money doesn’t matter, we budgeted for it” applies to you and not him. |
Anonymous
| A little of both - although I lean into the splurge category. Cocktails and dinners out are a big feature of our vacations so we don't skimp there. I generally pack granola bars for emergencies but they normally get eaten on planes or during car rides where ordering from somewhere isn't an option. We will generally opt for a free breakfast if available but on occasion if we get board or there's someplace special to try we branch out. Assuming you have the money then go for it. Vacation is not the time to count pennies. |
Anonymous
Alcohol? Probably not? But how will they know it’s not water if it’s in a Stanley? I’ve yet to encounter a hotel or resort that had told us to remove any snacks from the poolside. |
Anonymous
| If you only take two vacations a year then let loose. You can penny pinch the rest of the year at home and bring your own lunch and make your own coffee. |
Anonymous
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I grew up poor, so I’m like you in the mindset. But I see your dh’s point also.
If breakfast is included I would do the included breakfast but splurge on the dinners. Maybe next time you do an all inclusive resort? Then there’s no stress about the money. |
Anonymous
| This is not a vacation problem, this is a budgeting problem. When you are budgeting everybody gets input into the plan and then everyone follows the plan. |
Anonymous
| There's a happy medium. We usually have one big meal out per day on vacation. Then the other meals would be lighter and cheaper. So, if it's pancake day, maybe we would have cheese, crackers and fruit for lunch and grill some chicken for dinner. (Say we are renting a house and have a kitchen.) |
Anonymous
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Compromise and budget better for the next trip. |
Anonymous
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I could not vacation with you. I felt like I needed to be like you in past relationships, DH has taught me how to truly relax, enjoy vacations and not let the small things interfere with having a great time.
Some of our best memories involve an expenditure that while excessive was not a waste. Stopping for lunch in St Marks Square, Venice with the intent of spending the rest of the after exploring the city. We spent the next 5 hours eating $600 seafood tower and enjoying a couple of bottle of very expensive wine. We just watched the world go by while having incredible conversations. We have had more than a handful of meals where I have worn a dress that we bought spur of the moment that day. And 20 years later DH still references the details and how amazing I looked, what we ate etc. No pictures or other point of reference. Private cars to explore a city or country side going from activity to another, where a train/subway would have been quicker. But the memories from the random places we discovered by car are incredible. |
Anonymous
This! Prior to the trip, as you set your budget you should build this in based on discussing. E.g. we'll budget $X for eating out and cocktails and then plan accordingly with packed foods, etc. so that you stay in that budget. |
Anonymous
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I think add it up and say something like — we paid 300 for poolside drinks at last vacation (or whatever)—is there something we’d rather spend that money on (like staying another night at the hotel)? If the answer is no, there you have it.
I tend to do a mix. With kids in particular I feel like you can spend a lot of mindless money, so for some vacations I will just make smoothies in the room or bring bags of pretzels or chips or whatever to avoid dropping $100 a day on dumb kids snacks. But at the end of the day you have to decide where the money and dollar trade off is. My husband likes AI so he doesn’t have to think about this but one time I priced out the difference and convinced him we could order a lot of crap at the pool bar and still be well under the AI price. So we did that. |