daycare vs nanny share
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Anonymous
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We did the nanny thing to start (full time, no share) and honestly it was stressful. Trying to schedule work around a single person's last-minute schedule changes was not fun and more than once our nanny had car trouble, which meant that we missed getting to work, leading to trickle-down stress, etc etc. With a Nanny share, I can only expect that might be amplified by unpredictable things happening at the other family's home (sickness, delays, etc).
For us, daycare and eventually PreK was a better bet - more predictable hours, coverage if the teacher is out sick, no stress around the Nanny's schedule (is she/isn't she going to show up today, etc). If you have some flexibility around your working hours, and can adapt to individual circumstances quickly, a Nanny can be a great option, just didn't work well for us. |
Anonymous
I would agree with this. |
Anonymous
| You say that you both work demanding jobs outside the home. No matter which option you pick, at least one of you will probably have to cut back at work somewhat to handle all of the stuff that comes up when you have young children. Kids get sick. Nannies get sick. Daycares have holidays. Snow days happen. No childcare solution is going to allow both of you to work at the same capacity as you did before you had a kid. You will have to be flexible. |
Anonymous
| We did a small in-home daycare from 3 months to one year, and then transferred to a center when the owner decided to move to another state. It was very good for our child. She got lots of love and attention. She did get sick a lot in the beginning but once they build up immunity it gets a lot better. |
Anonymous
tell that to the employers. means nothing to tell the parent to "be flexible". |
Anonymous
| I went the daycare route with my first and nanny with my twins. Both were fine but I preferred daycare. In daycare, there are multiple people in the room, a director watching the cameras, you and other parents watching the cameras. It felt much more secure than trusting one person with the most important person in the world to me. The twins' nanny was great but I think we got extremely lucky, the majority of nannies I see are totally disengaged - chatting to each other while the kid watches their phone in the stroller. And how are the parents to know? They think their db is out for a lovely stroll with the nanny. |
Anonymous
| For those saying your dc will get sick more, it's okay to get sick. It is probably healthy to be exposed to more earlier (for a dc who follows the recommended vaccine schedule, obviously). This is clearly not scientific but the dc I stayed home with has food allergies (COVID baby) and the dc who went to daycare does not. That's a one off but studies do show that early germ exposure does have fewer instances of food allergies... something to consider at least! |
Anonymous
Link to a study you might find interesting... https://www.aaaai.org/about/news/news/2024/daycare |
Anonymous
I also think it doesn’t get mentioned enough that with daycare it is typically a space designed for small children with safety in mind. I can see the appeal of a nanny 100%, but when we considered a share this was a huge obstacle for me — the thought of the nanny watching multiple toddlers (or even just one, if disengaged) at playgrounds with big kid structures, etc. The physical space is usually more foolproof with a daycare. I don’t discount the value of a really good nanny (I’ve met a couple), but I think it’s a consideration. |
Anonymous
Immune systems are not fully formed until 3. There is no benefit to getting sick earlier. My nanny kids never had RSV, HFM and really nothing else beyond a cold. They went at 3 and were sick that whole first winter on and off. But nothing serious or hospital worthy. And it's a lot easier to treat and manage a sick 3 year old than a sick 6 month- 24 month old. In ES now and are just fine too and have no food allergies. |
Anonymous
I haven't experienced both but strongly considered a nanny share and even had another interested family I was talking to that had found a nanny. I preferred the redundancy of multiple adults both for a feeling of oversight and just if the person needed a break and backup on hard days. I also didn't want to be responsible for managing an employee and negotiating with the other family, potentially hosting, etc. It just seemed more complicated. Not all daycares are equal, neither are all nannies. It's a balancing of personal preferences. We sent our 2 kids to the same place and were happy with it. For infants nap time was a big focus and they were both solid nappers etc there for th first few years. |
Anonymous
but avoiding rsv in the first year of life can decrease chance of asthma... and rsv is rampant in daycares https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/avoiding-rsv-infancy-reduces-asthma-risk |
Anonymous
There’s a vaccine for RSV so there’s nothing to avoid. |
Anonymous
| Of course daycare is the worse option. No one is debating this in good faith. I understand it’s last resort for some families due to finances, or first resort for some moms who need their kid to be watched by someone else for 60 hours a week but let’s not fool ourselves that that’s at all good for babies. Proof is in the reason behind all these people’s responses who prefer daycare - they prefer it because it’s less stress on them, not because it’s best for their child. |
Anonymous
| Always a nanny over daycare. I’d avoid daycare at all costs. |