Starting over and feeling defeated

[Anonymous]

For crying out loud, if I could be 36 again......... Get school done, work out, look for a better job.

[Anonymous]

First off - be very grateful that you did not marry this man or have children w/him too!

You would have been a lot more stuck to him + you would likely be very miserable now.
If you do not believe me, read the majority of the posts in this forum!!

You are still relatively young to have a good life.
Go back to school & finish your education OP.
Yes you will be stretched thin but it will all be so worth it in the end.

And in your future relationships NEVER depend on a man to support you - and never give up on your education, dreams, etc.

I wish you only the best in all of your future endeavors. ✨

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not too late to meet a partner and have kids. Take a few days to mourn the loss of what you thought your life would be. Make a list of what you want…partner, kids, education, well paying career and education. Go forward in pursuit of these things. Make this your job, don’t look back. Starting over can be scary but embrace it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For crying out loud, if I could be 36 again......... Get school done, work out, look for a better job.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you need a husband for?

I don’t want to be alone forever. I want a partner in life.

Women who have never been married have this idea that getting a husband is security for a partner for life? It is absolutely not a lot of times getting a husband. The guy just wants to get a wife as a checkbox. He’s not a partner at all. He just is a guy who lives in your house that you have to clean up after. I never felt more alone than when I was married. I have several friends who have experienced the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you need a husband for?

Money.

I'm assuming that you're not a troll but I am probably wrong.

A man is not a plan. Increase your employability and earning capacity.

I didn’t write the money part. Some dumb troll did. I want a husband because I don’t want to be alone. I want a partner in life. Maybe 1-2 kids but that ship has probably sailed given my age.

36 is NOT OLD!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:52K isn't terrible. I'm 38 and have friends who were single at 36 who are now on their way to getting engaged. So its not the end of the line.

Really?

I was making that at my first real job at 24 in 1996. For a year- until I leveled up. It was hardly any money 30 years ago.

Many Americans make that salary as an average salary. Get with reality.

Exactly!

[Anonymous]

My mother had me at 37 in 1950 ffs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you need a husband for?

I don’t want to be alone forever. I want a partner in life.

Women who have never been married have this idea that getting a husband is security for a partner for life? It is absolutely not a lot of times getting a husband. The guy just wants to get a wife as a checkbox. He’s not a partner at all. He just is a guy who lives in your house that you have to clean up after. I never felt more alone than when I was married. I have several friends who have experienced the same.

Yes, women shouldn't get married at all (except to other women). Read the posts on this forum, OP. There hasn't been a single one ever where the woman admitted fault at all in her relationship. It's always entirely the man's fault. The only possible conclusion is that men are terrible, and women are blameless. So if you want a perfect relationship, marry a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For crying out loud, if I could be 36 again......... Get school done, work out, look for a better job.

Plus a million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you need a husband for?

I don’t want to be alone forever. I want a partner in life.

Women who have never been married have this idea that getting a husband is security for a partner for life? It is absolutely not a lot of times getting a husband. The guy just wants to get a wife as a checkbox. He’s not a partner at all. He just is a guy who lives in your house that you have to clean up after. I never felt more alone than when I was married. I have several friends who have experienced the same.

+1 I was a 29 year old widow. A man is not a plan, a husband is not security, a partner can be temporary. I am so grateful I had a career and a life when my husband died.

FWIW, I had a few crappy relationships before meeting my fiance at 35, married at 36. I probably had 50 years to go from there, 36 is hardly the end of the world.

[Anonymous]

On the positive, starting over is better than being miserable with the wrong partner and then divorcing. That's NOT fun.

When I was 24 I became a single Mom with the wrong guy. When I left I was making around 50K plus bonus. I made it work with child support.

At 31 I met the right man. We were engaged at 9 months, married at 1 year. Had to wait for kids but had #2 at 34 lost six pregnancies and finally had #3 with help from a super specialist at 39.

[Anonymous]

You quit your job because a BOYFRIEND told you to? What the actual f?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You quit your job because a BOYFRIEND told you to? What the actual f?

Even worse, you quit school? For a bf? You’re not a loser for starting over, but definitely a loser for letting a bf “make you” torpedo your entire life. I can’t imagine my daughter coming home yo tell me she dropped out of college because her boyfriend told her to. What a failure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you need a husband for?

I don’t want to be alone forever. I want a partner in life.

Men are pretty awful. Just have an F buddy. Learn to love being on your own.