Starting over and feeling defeated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you need a husband for?

I don’t want to be alone forever. I want a partner in life.

Women who have never been married have this idea that getting a husband is security for a partner for life? It is absolutely not a lot of times getting a husband. The guy just wants to get a wife as a checkbox. He’s not a partner at all. He just is a guy who lives in your house that you have to clean up after. I never felt more alone than when I was married. I have several friends who have experienced the same.

+1 I was a 29 year old widow. A man is not a plan, a husband is not security, a partner can be temporary. I am so grateful I had a career and a life when my husband died.

FWIW, I had a few crappy relationships before meeting my fiance at 35, married at 36. I probably had 50 years to go from there, 36 is hardly the end of the world.

I know a man is not a plan. I still don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You quit your job because a BOYFRIEND told you to? What the actual f?

I quit school. It wasn’t solely because of him but having his support helped. My dad was very ill at the time and it was very challenging to take care of him and go to school + work. I made the decision to quit school to focus on my dad. Thankfully he is much better. My boyfriend’s support allowed me to quit because I wouldn’t have been able to do it all on my own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you need a husband for?

I don’t want to be alone forever. I want a partner in life.

Men are pretty awful. Just have an F buddy. Learn to love being on your own.

Sorry but I don’t hate men or think they’re awful. Men have literally built our world and maintain our world everyday. Everything you touch on a daily basis was built and is maintained by men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you need a husband for?

I don’t want to be alone forever. I want a partner in life.

Women who have never been married have this idea that getting a husband is security for a partner for life? It is absolutely not a lot of times getting a husband. The guy just wants to get a wife as a checkbox. He’s not a partner at all. He just is a guy who lives in your house that you have to clean up after. I never felt more alone than when I was married. I have several friends who have experienced the same.

+1 I was a 29 year old widow. A man is not a plan, a husband is not security, a partner can be temporary. I am so grateful I had a career and a life when my husband died.

FWIW, I had a few crappy relationships before meeting my fiance at 35, married at 36. I probably had 50 years to go from there, 36 is hardly the end of the world.

I know a man is not a plan. I still don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life.

OP you have gotten a lot of encouragement in the thread. Life stories. But sll you do is whine you don't want to be alone. No thanks. Nothing but whining.

Check your attitude. It is defeatist. You defeat yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you need a husband for?

I don’t want to be alone forever. I want a partner in life.

Men are pretty awful. Just have an F buddy. Learn to love being on your own.

Sorry but I don’t hate men or think they’re awful. Men have literally built our world and maintain our world everyday. Everything you touch on a daily basis was built and is maintained by men.

🤢
Sounds like you just want a sugar daddy. Maybe some sort of alternative relationship would be a better arrangement for you. Then you can have their “support” and not have to work or go to school and can sit on your ass all day. You can have friends and not be lonely. You just want the cash, at least be honest here.

[Anonymous]

I mean, you let a boyfriend be the plan. You chose to give up your independence and adult responsiblities in order to have someone else pay for everything. That was quite a choice. Maybe worth some therapy to see why you went the mooching route and lived off someone you were dating. You chose to put yourself in the situation you are in. As for being able to find another partner, there are guys out there who will pay for everything for you so you can be taken care of like a child but they aren't often healthy relationships. Rather than dating someone for their wallet, I would work in therapy to see what other qualities you can find that are important to you and learn to be an independent adult who can manage their own expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you need a husband for?

I don’t want to be alone forever. I want a partner in life.

Men are pretty awful. Just have an F buddy. Learn to love being on your own.

Sorry but I don’t hate men or think they’re awful. Men have literally built our world and maintain our world everyday. Everything you touch on a daily basis was built and is maintained by men.

You're not going to fit in on DCUM with that attitude! Just be aware that no woman on DCUM has ever been at fault for any problems in her romantic relationships. It's always the man that's at fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you need a husband for?

I don’t want to be alone forever. I want a partner in life.

Men are pretty awful. Just have an F buddy. Learn to love being on your own.

Sorry but I don’t hate men or think they’re awful. Men have literally built our world and maintain our world everyday. Everything you touch on a daily basis was built and is maintained by men.

🤢
Sounds like you just want a sugar daddy. Maybe some sort of alternative relationship would be a better arrangement for you. Then you can have their “support” and not have to work or go to school and can sit on your ass all day. You can have friends and not be lonely. You just want the cash, at least be honest here.

Far from the truth but I love how you get so worked up. I worked throughout our relationship and he didn’t pay for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you let a boyfriend be the plan. You chose to give up your independence and adult responsiblities in order to have someone else pay for everything. That was quite a choice. Maybe worth some therapy to see why you went the mooching route and lived off someone you were dating. You chose to put yourself in the situation you are in. As for being able to find another partner, there are guys out there who will pay for everything for you so you can be taken care of like a child but they aren't often healthy relationships. Rather than dating someone for their wallet, I would work in therapy to see what other qualities you can find that are important to you and learn to be an independent adult who can manage their own expenses.

This isn’t even what happened. You’re so off base. Lots of assumptions by you women on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you need a husband for?

I don’t want to be alone forever. I want a partner in life.

Men are pretty awful. Just have an F buddy. Learn to love being on your own.

Sorry but I don’t hate men or think they’re awful. Men have literally built our world and maintain our world everyday. Everything you touch on a daily basis was built and is maintained by men.

🤢
Sounds like you just want a sugar daddy. Maybe some sort of alternative relationship would be a better arrangement for you. Then you can have their “support” and not have to work or go to school and can sit on your ass all day. You can have friends and not be lonely. You just want the cash, at least be honest here.

Far from the truth but I love how you get so worked up. I worked throughout our relationship and he didn’t pay for everything.

That’s clearly a lie, from your OWN posts 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you let a boyfriend be the plan. You chose to give up your independence and adult responsiblities in order to have someone else pay for everything. That was quite a choice. Maybe worth some therapy to see why you went the mooching route and lived off someone you were dating. You chose to put yourself in the situation you are in. As for being able to find another partner, there are guys out there who will pay for everything for you so you can be taken care of like a child but they aren't often healthy relationships. Rather than dating someone for their wallet, I would work in therapy to see what other qualities you can find that are important to you and learn to be an independent adult who can manage their own expenses.

This isn’t even what happened. You’re so off base. Lots of assumptions by you women on here.

Ah you’re a male troll. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you let a boyfriend be the plan. You chose to give up your independence and adult responsiblities in order to have someone else pay for everything. That was quite a choice. Maybe worth some therapy to see why you went the mooching route and lived off someone you were dating. You chose to put yourself in the situation you are in. As for being able to find another partner, there are guys out there who will pay for everything for you so you can be taken care of like a child but they aren't often healthy relationships. Rather than dating someone for their wallet, I would work in therapy to see what other qualities you can find that are important to you and learn to be an independent adult who can manage their own expenses.

This isn’t even what happened. You’re so off base. Lots of assumptions by you women on here.

Ah you’re a male troll. Got it.

Calling out misandry doesn’t mean that the op is a man. Many women hate women like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you let a boyfriend be the plan. You chose to give up your independence and adult responsiblities in order to have someone else pay for everything. That was quite a choice. Maybe worth some therapy to see why you went the mooching route and lived off someone you were dating. You chose to put yourself in the situation you are in. As for being able to find another partner, there are guys out there who will pay for everything for you so you can be taken care of like a child but they aren't often healthy relationships. Rather than dating someone for their wallet, I would work in therapy to see what other qualities you can find that are important to you and learn to be an independent adult who can manage their own expenses.

This isn’t even what happened. You’re so off base. Lots of assumptions by you women on here.

Ah you’re a male troll. Got it.

Calling out misandry doesn’t mean that the op is a man. Many women hate women like you.

Yeah, woman hating on other women is peak man troll. Great job!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 36 and broke up with my boyfriend a week ago. I was in school while we met and quit because he wanted to be the provider. Now I’m 36 and starting over from scratch. My current job pays barely nothing ( $52k) and I’m going to be stretched thin financially. I feel like such a loser starting over at my age. The likelihood of me finding a husband in my situation is pretty low. I feel defeated.

Wait a minute, you quit SCHOOL because he wanted to be a provider? And you're 36, so you quit before you were 22, so you've had a BOYFRIEND for 14 years? Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why caused you to shift your life so dramatically (quit school) for a mere boyfriend?

I stupidly believed his lies and fell in love. I had a difficult time with school and a family issue. He told me to quit because he was okay with being the provider.

Sure, sure. And when did that happen? And how much older than you is he? And what was he earning when he convinced you that he'd be a provider?