Cousin called today to say World Pride Day traffic will mean she won’t come to graduation party!

[Anonymous]

She has weighed the effort of travel against her desire to attend and decided it is too much. This is her way of telling her that. You aren't going to think of a scenario that she hasn't and change her mind. Since there isn't anything you can offer to make it easier, you just accept it and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She has weighed the effort of travel against her desire to attend and decided it is too much. This is her way of telling her that. You aren't going to think of a scenario that she hasn't and change her mind. Since there isn't anything you can offer to make it easier, you just accept it and move on.

+1 You could offer to have her come early am or the night before if it's important to you. But it does sound like she wants the out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eastern Shore people (the stock from whence I came) do not like driving into the city. And yes, NW DC is the city.

Pride is an excuse. Of course it won't add an hour to her trip (beach traffic might, though she'd be going against the grain to get to your house, but depedning no when she left and SAt-Sat renters she might have traffic heading home).

The city is scary for non city people (yes, even upper NW). The Beltway is really scary.

If you have a high school senior, you are likely above 40, 45. If your cousin in the same age driving over for a day trip to the big city may jsut be something she no longer has the capacity to do. It's jsut a reality.

I always visit my family. They do not come here.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She has weighed the effort of travel against her desire to attend and decided it is too much. This is her way of telling her that. You aren't going to think of a scenario that she hasn't and change her mind. Since there isn't anything you can offer to make it easier, you just accept it and move on.

This. I do think you can let her know how excited you were to see her and that you're disappointed she can't make it. But that's about it!

[Anonymous]

It took DH and I 90 minutes in an Uber last year to get from close-in N. Arlington to Zatinya on the Saturday of Pride Weekend. It was nuts! Your cousin is very unlikely to experience similar since she’s not going downtown but Pride traffic is def a thing.

[Anonymous]

Give her the out but let her know that if she changes her mind day of, totally okay just to show up. It might take the pressure off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have declined the invitation in the first place. Too far to travel for first-cousin-once-removed HS grad party.

This. You are being ridiculous op. Does your daughter even care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: OP Cousin has no young kids. Would leaving early avoid traffic? Party is 4 to 7 pm. She could come whenever. Very disappointed. What is the timing of most Saturday Pride activities?

You are a selfish individual
And clueless

She’s not comfortable with traffic, pride or doesn’t want to come.

Either way it’s her decision you need to be gracious and say we well miss you and move on.

Big whoop your kid is graduating that is a minimum bar. Should it be celebrated yes. Is your twat the only reason people should exist that day no, move on you are making a big deal out of absolutely nothing,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It took DH and I 90 minutes in an Uber last year to get from close-in N. Arlington to Zatinya on the Saturday of Pride Weekend. It was nuts! Your cousin is very unlikely to experience similar since she’s not going downtown but Pride traffic is def a thing.

Yeah but this year it’s World Pride not just DC Pride. Events are supersized. Since it’s so close, more than usual from a greater distance might be planning to attend. It’s a reasonable concern.

[Anonymous]

Just say you understand and hope you two can meet up another time. That’s the only appropriate way to respond to someone declining an invitation. High school graduation is not that big a deal to anyone other than the graduate.

[Anonymous]

Could be anxiety and an excuse, could be that she really minds the traffic, that she doesn't want to be there *that* bad. In any case I would stop giving it much thought, send a quick message to acknowledge she won't be there and that's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: OP Cousin has no young kids. Would leaving early avoid traffic? Party is 4 to 7 pm. She could come whenever. Very disappointed. What is the timing of most Saturday Pride activities?

You are a selfish individual
And clueless

She’s not comfortable with traffic, pride or doesn’t want to come.

Either way it’s her decision you need to be gracious and say we well miss you and move on.

Big whoop your kid is graduating that is a minimum bar. Should it be celebrated yes. Is your twat the only reason people should exist that day no, move on you are making a big deal out of absolutely nothing,

😂🤣😂 This is all great. I hope cousin starts a thread on Family Relationships forum - "My Cousin is pestering me about attending a piddly graduation. I already sent $100. How do I get her off my back?!!?"

[Anonymous]

I mean also, unless she's unusually close to your kid, "first cousin once removed" isn't usually a high priority for a graduation party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t called her back yet. Gathering my thoughts.

You need to grow up. Some things are out of everyone's control. Including the terrible traffic in this area. This will not matter in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to focus on throwing a party for the people who want to be there, not sorting out logistics for one guest or convincing someone who is looking for an excuse not to come. Tell them (calmly, nicely) that you're bummed they can't make it and that you'll miss them and carry on. Try not to hold a grudge, though you don't need to go over and above for them in the future if it doesn't work for you.

This is correct. You do not want to nail down people who do not, for whatever reason, want to attend. It’s embarrassing. Focus on the people who enthusiastically RSVPd yes. Those are the ones who deserve your attention this time!