Have you known a woman who develops a literal nonstop-stop talking trait in mid life?

[Anonymous]

Yes. My Mil. If her eyes were open, she was talking. So distractive I could not drive with her in the car - I would miss multiple exits. I sensed some of the talking was likely due to anxiety - going to a new take out restaurant and she had the tell the host her life story. She developed dementia and passed.

[Anonymous]

My neighbor is like that. She’s in her mid 40s, talks constantly but can’t quite get a full sentence out. She stops mid-sentence and then switches to another one. For her I think it’s anxiety.

[Anonymous]

My mother was this way; had to constantly yammer on and was never content to sit quietly or enjoy time with family without constant banter.

I used to drive her to her hometown every summer (a 4 hour car ride) and one time I was so excited to listen to a new CD (that’s how long ago this was) on the trip but did my own experiment; I never got to hear one line of lyrics much less a song without her talking.

Absolutely maddening.

Was diagnosed with moderate cognitive decline first then experienced manic episodes towards the end of her life. Refused to take meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's almost a meme that older women become talk-a-holics and prattle on and on vocalizing every thought that comes in their head, and getting angry often if you bring it to their attention.

Men often tend to go the opposite direction and get quieter and quieter as they get older.

There's a difference between the chatty old lady and the person who truly does not stop talking for a minute. That does sound like manic bipolar, but surely a doctor could evaluate better.

[Anonymous]

Not dementia but yeah I’ve known people like that. I think for the ppl I’ve known who do that it’s anxiety plus neurodivergence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother was this way; had to constantly yammer on and was never content to sit quietly or enjoy time with family without constant banter.

I used to drive her to her hometown every summer (a 4 hour car ride) and one time I was so excited to listen to a new CD (that’s how long ago this was) on the trip but did my own experiment; I never got to hear one line of lyrics much less a song without her talking.

Absolutely maddening.

Was diagnosed with moderate cognitive decline first then experienced manic episodes towards the end of her life. Refused to take meds.

She developed bipolar at the end of her life? Or she always had it but was finally diagnosed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh man, I’m kind of like this in menopause. Well, not THAT bad but I have an almost compulsive need to verbalize the things that are causing me stress. I’m only like that at home with my family, so I can control it but I’m sure it annoys the F out of them. I likely do have undiagnosed ADD.

I’m really trying to work on it. I’m very aware of it, unlike your relative and thankfully, I’m also a good listener and can be quiet for long stretches - this is very intermittent, during periods of high stress.

Ufff. I am in the same shoes. I am horrified at how much I talk nowadays. Yes, I am also a good listener but the need to verbalize everything invokes shame for me after it is over.

Me too. I hate it when I can see my kid's eyes glaze over, and somehow still HAVE TO finish my thought.

Solidarity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh man, I’m kind of like this in menopause. Well, not THAT bad but I have an almost compulsive need to verbalize the things that are causing me stress. I’m only like that at home with my family, so I can control it but I’m sure it annoys the F out of them. I likely do have undiagnosed ADD.

I’m really trying to work on it. I’m very aware of it, unlike your relative and thankfully, I’m also a good listener and can be quiet for long stretches - this is very intermittent, during periods of high stress.

Ufff. I am in the same shoes. I am horrified at how much I talk nowadays. Yes, I am also a good listener but the need to verbalize everything invokes shame for me after it is over.

Me too. I hate it when I can see my kid's eyes glaze over, and somehow still HAVE TO finish my thought.

Solidarity.

NP. It’s so interesting to me that some of you do this while being fully aware of it. Have you tried to force yourself to stop part way through a monologue? If so, how did that make you feel? And if you are alone, do you talk to yourself?

[Anonymous]

I have the opposite issue: I never want to talk about anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In middle age no? My mother became like this in her 70s and it got worse. You cannot get a word in edge wise and she is very intense.

My mom was like that in her 60s/70s. Not dementia—just she retired and when she got the opportunity to talk she took the world up on it. Drove me insane.

Then she died at 72 (endocarditis, unrelated to dementia) and I wish I had her prattling in my ear back every day. You just can’t make me happy, life! I am not saying to enjoy it, because I have been there and it’s annoying…but try not to hate it too much.

[Anonymous]

NP. Thank you all so much for these posts. It is helping me have a bit more empathy towards someone in my life who is like this (she happens to be a woman in her 70s).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. Thank you all so much for these posts. It is helping me have a bit more empathy towards someone in my life who is like this (she happens to be a woman in her 70s).

PP right above you. Hugs, it is challenging in the moment! One thing I did was call her on the phone when doing housework and just let her roll. At least I was doing something constructive and she felt heard. I couldn’t get a word in anyway. Then I didn’t feel like I was wasting my life sitting on the couch listening to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have the opposite issue: I never want to talk about anything.

This is me. I talk less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh man, I’m kind of like this in menopause. Well, not THAT bad but I have an almost compulsive need to verbalize the things that are causing me stress. I’m only like that at home with my family, so I can control it but I’m sure it annoys the F out of them. I likely do have undiagnosed ADD.

I’m really trying to work on it. I’m very aware of it, unlike your relative and thankfully, I’m also a good listener and can be quiet for long stretches - this is very intermittent, during periods of high stress.

Ufff. I am in the same shoes. I am horrified at how much I talk nowadays. Yes, I am also a good listener but the need to verbalize everything invokes shame for me after it is over.

Me too. I hate it when I can see my kid's eyes glaze over, and somehow still HAVE TO finish my thought.

Solidarity.

NP. It’s so interesting to me that some of you do this while being fully aware of it. Have you tried to force yourself to stop part way through a monologue? If so, how did that make you feel? And if you are alone, do you talk to yourself?

PP who has to finish her thought: yes, I talk to myself frequently. Always have. I don't even try to hide it-- I joke that growing up Gen X in quasi-rural suburbs I didn't have anyone else to talk to!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's almost a meme that older women become talk-a-holics and prattle on and on vocalizing every thought that comes in their head, and getting angry often if you bring it to their attention.

Men often tend to go the opposite direction and get quieter and quieter as they get older.

There's a difference between the chatty old lady and the person who truly does not stop talking for a minute.

Splitting hairs again are we? It's all the same game.