Extravagant gift from adult child

[Anonymous]

I agree that it seems like a big outlay for her salary, but perhaps she used miles, or won the hotel stay in a raffle or something. It doesn't matter; she is an adult. She had something of value to give, and she wanted to give it to you. It speaks well of you, and of her.

Bon voyage!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For my parents 25th anniversary my three older siblings - who were in college at the time - went in together to send my parents a trip to the Caribbean. My little sister and I - middlle schoolers - paid for the bottle of champagne in their hotel room.

They definitely could not afford it but really wanted to do something nice for my parents who had gone through a tough time. It’s still family legend and the giving meant a lot to my siblings.

I would gush with appreciation - and maybe make one comment later that she shouldn’t feel like she needs to make a habit of it as seeing her save for a down payment also makes you really happy. And then gush some more about how thoughtful and happy the gift made you.

Love this, especially little you ponying up for the champagne

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is a strange gift more than it is an expensive one. Are you leaving out something?
This was her promise to you when she gets a $70k job for example. You have always wanted to go there. Your honeymoon was there. She is quirky like that. Not many of us would buy tickets to anyone unless we know the person has time to go.

What do you mean?

She did ask us what our plans were week of July [xx]. Me: "nothing, why?" Her: "oh, just planning for your mother's day/dad's birthday gift!"...I'm thinking it'll be like concert tickets or something, haha. But she did know we have time to go. I'm in education and have 6 weeks off in the summer and DH is a semi-retired, very part time self employed consultant so it's not like she's banking on us being able to take off work or use up PTO or whatever. We went to Bermuda when the kids were little years and years ago and have talked about it being somewhere we'd love to go back to- So it's not totally random.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she’s a sugar baby or does only fans?
No, you can’t say anything.

[Anonymous]

This is weird gift at her salary level. I would have questions. Mine is the same age and makes over 100k, and I really do not see how she can fund a trip like that on salary alone.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't feel right about this. Can she cancel and get her money back? I'd rather see my kid saving that money instead of spending it on me.

[Anonymous]

What’s her OF?

[Anonymous]

Thank her profusely and send pics along the way about the fun times. She is and will be more thrilled to make you happy! Sounds like you are very good parents to have such a thoughtful daughter. You can always make it up another way.

[Anonymous]

Enjoy sitting through timeshare pitches

[Anonymous]

Thank her

[Anonymous]

Just enjoy it and thank her. Assuming she has a good head on her shoulders, she will figure it out.

In the last few years, my finances have become pretty good (in my mind and well above the average American). I decided for Christmas I wanted to start taking my parents on experiences/trips. We made the decision we were going to see the brown bears at Katmai. We were going to fly first class, stay at really nice hotels (in Seattle, obviously not in Katmai).

Trip never happened. One parent had a major medical event and their physical abilities are greatly altered (they still get around but that trip is unrealistic for them at this stage). The other parent was so stressed from the other’s medical event that it likely accelerated a chronic disease that had been under control. They died.

I am not advocating for complete financial irresponsibility, but wish I wouldn’t have waited until my finances were perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is weird gift at her salary level. I would have questions. Mine is the same age and makes over 100k, and I really do not see how she can fund a trip like that on salary alone.

The Asian kids always give their grandparents and parents a big gift with their first year salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank her profusely, and say something along the lines of "oh my goodness, this is such a lavish gift, we are going to have so much fun, and we would love to reciprocate one of these years with a glorious trip for you too! any particular places you are dreaming of visiting?"

Maybe OP can't afford to give a glorious trip to her DD.

[Anonymous]

I would really not want her to start doing that on a regular basis. I think I would talk to her about whether she’s saving any money, has a cushion, etc. and be appreciative but also say “we love you so much — you don’t need to give us expensive gifts to say thank you—we’re just so proud of you and the wonderful person you’ve become is the best gift ever.” Or something like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is weird gift at her salary level. I would have questions. Mine is the same age and makes over 100k, and I really do not see how she can fund a trip like that on salary alone.

Really? making over 100K and single and you think 10K trip is too much? That is weird.