Extravagant gift from adult child

[Anonymous]

My adult daughter (27) gave my husband and I a very extravagant gift for Mother's Day/DH's birthday (May 10). She gifted us a week in Bermuda (tix, hotel, activity). She has a pretty good job, I think makes around $70k, but it's not like she's swimming in money. She does have a student loan payment. It was a lovely sentiment, but I feel it is way too extravagant and I'm a bit overwhelmed. Would I be okay saying something like that?

[Anonymous]

Don't do this. Part of adulting is managing your money.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t say anything, but that is really extravagant. When I was making $70K living in DC, I definitely couldn’t have afforded that, and I never had loans.

[Anonymous]

Thank her. Enjoy the trip.

[Anonymous]

I am sure she had her reasons like thanking you for all your support through the years, feeling like you think of others but never yourself and she wants you to have fun…It is incredibly touching no matter what! So take the trip and have the best time and continue being a wonderful mom with a kind daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My adult daughter (27) gave my husband and I a very extravagant gift for Mother's Day/DH's birthday (May 10). She gifted us a week in Bermuda (tix, hotel, activity). She has a pretty good job, I think makes around $70k, but it's not like she's swimming in money. She does have a student loan payment. It was a lovely sentiment, but I feel it is way too extravagant and I'm a bit overwhelmed. Would I be okay saying something like that?

Don't break her heart. You can compensate on her birthday or Christmas with cash gift.

[Anonymous]

Thank her profusely, and say something along the lines of "oh my goodness, this is such a lavish gift, we are going to have so much fun, and we would love to reciprocate one of these years with a glorious trip for you too! any particular places you are dreaming of visiting?"

[Anonymous]

Thank her. She likely will settle into a routine of never doing this again. You're right, it wasn't smart. But it's what she wanted to do, to show her appreciation. She's feeling like a success. Let her feel her success. She will adjust.

Can she be invited along? Make it a family trip with siblings too? (siblings pay something

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My adult daughter (27) gave my husband and I a very extravagant gift for Mother's Day/DH's birthday (May 10). She gifted us a week in Bermuda (tix, hotel, activity). She has a pretty good job, I think makes around $70k, but it's not like she's swimming in money. She does have a student loan payment. It was a lovely sentiment, but I feel it is way too extravagant and I'm a bit overwhelmed. Would I be okay saying something like that?

Don't break her heart. You can compensate on her birthday or Christmas with cash gift.

Let her give you this lovely gift without commenting on its lavishness or trying to reimburse her with offers of future trips or gifts. Thank her like you would any other adult and rejoice that she thinks of you so highly.

[Anonymous]

Does she travel for work?

[Anonymous]

For my parents 25th anniversary my three older siblings - who were in college at the time - went in together to send my parents a trip to the Caribbean. My little sister and I - middlle schoolers - paid for the bottle of champagne in their hotel room.

They definitely could not afford it but really wanted to do something nice for my parents who had gone through a tough time. It’s still family legend and the giving meant a lot to my siblings.

I would gush with appreciation - and maybe make one comment later that she shouldn’t feel like she needs to make a habit of it as seeing her save for a down payment also makes you really happy. And then gush some more about how thoughtful and happy the gift made you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My adult daughter (27) gave my husband and I a very extravagant gift for Mother's Day/DH's birthday (May 10). She gifted us a week in Bermuda (tix, hotel, activity). She has a pretty good job, I think makes around $70k, but it's not like she's swimming in money. She does have a student loan payment. It was a lovely sentiment, but I feel it is way too extravagant and I'm a bit overwhelmed. Would I be okay saying something like that?

While you don't mentioned your current financial situation, I wish I could have done something like that for my parents if I was making 70K at her age.

By the time I was making that much I already had kids and bills to pay...

Please enjoy it, I'm sure she's proud of her accomplishments and is thanking you both for your sacrifices. Indeed a lovely sentiment.

[Anonymous]

Give her a big check at Christmas

[Anonymous]

That is so touching. Accept the gift graciously and enjoy it to the maximum. Give HER the gift of the pleasure of giving. She won’t continue in this vein, but how lovely that she wanted to do this for you.

[Anonymous]

That is a strange gift more than it is an expensive one. Are you leaving out something?
This was her promise to you when she gets a $70k job for example. You have always wanted to go there. Your honeymoon was there. She is quirky like that. Not many of us would buy tickets to anyone unless we know the person has time to go.