How much do you/your spouse get irritated with your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s sleep deprived. If I was woken by screaming every morning at 7am for years I wouldn’t be very patient
either.

My hot take is that you shouldn’t become a parent of you aren’t ready to be awake for the day starting at 5:30 or 6am for a long stretch of years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s sleep deprived. If I was woken by screaming every morning at 7am for years I wouldn’t be very patient either.

Adults can wake up at 7am.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it’s normal. Having little children can be vexing, particularly if it’s your first and youre adjusting.
Speak to him about after she is asleep.
Model kind tone.
And remember your your daughter will benefit from a strong marriage, and a good relationship with her father. Your disdain for his vice of using the wrong tone/ other parenting sins might be more toxic to your kid in the long run. So be careful.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it sounds like your husband's attitude is terrible in the morning. He's also right to hand the kid water from the night before.

You're making more work for both of you by not letting her get dressed by herself (I'm assuming that's what's happening with the sloth?) or get her own drink. Three is old enough to get her own milk from the fridge (prep it and put it low) or drink water in the morning.

I also got up early with the kids today as my DH slept in. I get it, OP.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand the need for milk right away because she’s stuffy. Milk doesn’t clear up stuffiness (if anything it does the opposite). Wouldn’t water do the trick? It sounds like she wants milk, and you give in to the milk.

[Anonymous]

Therapy and parenting classes

[Anonymous]

Yeah no. No functioning adult should be cranky about a 7am wake up unless they work the night shift or something.

What is he doing at night that he can’t get to bed by 11pm? Stop that, whatever it is. Phones charging on the kitchen island and video games off by X time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah no. No functioning adult should be cranky about a 7am wake up unless they work the night shift or something.

What is he doing at night that he can’t get to bed by 11pm? Stop that, whatever it is. Phones charging on the kitchen island and video games off by X time.

Haha. You must be a morning person. I am absolutely cranky if I wake up at 7. I have been like this since I was a kid. I hate getting out of bed. However, it is not my children’s fault, and I do not take it out on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Is your child waking up every morning crying for milk? That is not normal.

Sure, three years olds wake up early and that is annoying but I would make coffee and make them breakfast. We would read books and be quiet so my spouse could sleep. I would get them outside if the weather was nice.

+1. Get ahead of this by getting up and have the milk ready for them. 7am is not early, where are you in all this?

[Anonymous]

Also if she's stuffy get a humidifier.

[Anonymous]

With little kids 7am is a gift. My kids and many others I know woke up earlier than that regularly.

As an adult I can’t even sleep past 6:45/7 now after having 3 kids. They are tweens/teens now and I have a 5 year old. the 5 year old wakes up about 7ish and I’m
almost always already up. I think you need to adjust your expectations. Little kids wake up early. That’s just the way it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you’re explaining it well. Are you saying he’s responsible in the AM? Are you saying that even though he’s exhausted and you don’t think he’s capable of good parenting that you don’t get up with your 3 year old?

Three year olds can be tough and that’s why divide and conquer is such a common sentiment. It doesn’t sound like you’ve mastered that at all yet.

No, I’m typically responsible in the AM. Even today (Mother’s Day) I’m up with the kids and he’s still sleeping in.

With the morning example, even if he was responsible for her in the morning, he would lay in bed and whine back at 3yo until finally getting up in a huff. He’s not proactive in getting up before the kids, he just lays around until they get so irritating and whiny he has to get up.

3 yo responds well when I just explain to her what’s going on. “We’ll go downstairs and get milk, first I need to get dressed and then we’ll go down. Here, play with your sloth while you wait”.

H and DD just basically whine back and forth at each other, escalating until H starts shouting/snapping and does what she wants in a huff.

I’ve tried talking to him about it and he says that’s how he parents and it’s fine. I hate being around it, it’s very stressful and has completely killed my attraction to him.

Divorce
This will not get better

[Anonymous]

Like any thread, I think you need to keep in mind that everyone with an answer is going to have their own subjectivity.

If you want a gut reaction, your description of your husband sounds like normal behavior for a man, tho not normal behavior for a dad. You may have different interpretations of what the latter constitutes. You’re reacting to his reception of your daughter’s needs; not your daughter. You need to distinguish between the two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah no. No functioning adult should be cranky about a 7am wake up unless they work the night shift or something.

What is he doing at night that he can’t get to bed by 11pm? Stop that, whatever it is. Phones charging on the kitchen island and video games off by X time.

Haha. You must be a morning person. I am absolutely cranky if I wake up at 7. I have been like this since I was a kid. I hate getting out of bed. However, it is not my children’s fault, and I do not take it out on them.

Ha! Not at all a morning person - I would wake up at noon every day if I could! But I have a job and kids (both of which were choices) so I set up my sleep schedule to wake up on time for them, rather than being perpetually sleep deprived and cranky.

[Anonymous]

Test for dust allergies. Vacuum the room frequently. Use allergen-free bedding. Use humidifier.

Good oral hygiene for your daughter. Use Ayr gel in her nostrils to keep her nasal passages lubricated. Use nosefrieda to clear her nose (after using a saline spray) at night before she sleeps.

Finally, get up and fix her her milk in the morning. Why is that so hard? You guys really hate your children, don't you?