Is it rude to not offer all wedding guests a +1?

[Anonymous]

I think it's nice to send an invitation to someone's long-term romantic partner, but a generic +1? Go ahead if you want to, but a wedding is not just another random social event. It's fine if the couple only wants guests they actually know

[Anonymous]

In our mid 20s when we had a lot of single friends still, we did not give a +1 to everyone. But these were mostly our college friends who knew a lot of other attendees. Our wedding was also relatively small, under 100. We also paid for most of it ourselves, and it was expensive to us at $450/plate & we didn’t want complete strangers at our wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:unless you are from a family with a "no ring no bring" policy that goes back generations give them a plus 1.
and it's not to "spare their feelings"
it's because its rude not to allow an adult to bring a date to a formal event.

For context, I am also the person walking around to the ppl sitting and not dancing saying "Suzie's dad paid a shit ton for this band and photographer. Get up and have fun." (and i realize that it's not always suzie's dad, and it's not always a band) but my point is the "contract" goes both ways.

OMG, I hope someone punches you for this someday

[Anonymous]

It's rude. I still think about my cousin who wouldn't let me bring my fiancee to his wedding.

[Anonymous]

It is rude not to include a spouse, fiancé, or live in partner. In the modern age I would also include any long term partners in this even if they don’t live together.

Beyond that, it’s up to the couple. We did not do unnamed +1s for our wedding - very limited space, and there were no singles who didn’t know anyone.

[Anonymous]

Etiquette states the invitation lists the names on the inner envelope. If it’s a long term or established couple, or family with children, each name is written out. If there is no such relationship or invitee unaware, then that’s too bad. Adding random plus ones would be a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

mixed feelings here. If you are inviting someone you don’t know well enough that they know many people at the wedding and you don’t know if they have a long term partner, then you probably should not invite them at all. It should go case by case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you can be anything, be kind
Do the +1

+1

[Anonymous]

I'll offer my perspective as someone who recently got married.

We offered a plus one to anyone who had a 'named' date at the time we sent the save the dates: boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé, spouse, whatever. We had a small-ish wedding, around 70 people, and unfortunately couldn't give a blank check for people to bring random dates, nor did we really want people no one knew at our intimate wedding.

Our wedding was local to most of the guests and everyone would've known at least 2-3 other people (we invited groups of friends from HS, college, work). I might've felt differently 1) if it was a destination wedding or 2) if someone would've literally known no one else there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should always offer a +1.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's rude. I still think about my cousin who wouldn't let me bring my fiancee to his wedding.

That doesn't seem like a +1 situation to me. I think of +1 as "whoever you want," not "Can you give me Paul's address so I can send him an invitation?"

[Anonymous]

Offer the +1 if there is no one else invited that the person will enjoy hanging out with. Otherwise, you don't need to. A lot of people will use the rule or engaged or married to extend invitations.

[Anonymous]

I am team “give everyone a +1”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's nice to send an invitation to someone's long-term romantic partner, but a generic +1? Go ahead if you want to, but a wedding is not just another random social event. It's fine if the couple only wants guests they actually know

I agree with this. Our wedding had 80 guests and was not a particularly formal event. There was no reason why single people without dates could not enjoy themselves mingling and talking. You don't need a date in order to socialize.

[Anonymous]

I see both sides of this. As the perpetually single spinster aunt, I probably wouldn’t go if I didn’t think I’d know very many people and didn’t have a plus one so I’d at least know one person. Or I’d go to the ceremony and bail early into the reception (and let you know in advance so you don’t order food for me.)