How do I tell my parents it’s my business if I don’t want kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t engage. You don’t need to explain yourself or let them hound you. If they question you just say you’re not interested in talking about it anymore and change the subject. If they won’t stop, end the interaction.

When one of my DDs told me she didn’t want children I did have some questions. I asked her if she would be ok talking about it and she agreed. I wanted to understand her decision and I did not try to convince her to change her mind or belittle her decision. And that was that. I respect her decision and it’s not an issue. I would feel the same way even if she had said no to my initial question. You have the right to make this decision and if your parents don’t get that you will have to be very firm with your boundaries.

Lol your first paragraph is in direct conflict with your second.

It would be if I continually questioned her, or if I indicated that I had pushed her to tell me more about her decision or tried to talk her out of it. I guess you didn’t read. I ASKED her permission to talk about it ONE TIME. During that talk I did NOT try to talk her out of it or belittle her choice (you’ll change your mind when X happens, etc.).

[Anonymous]

They’re probably upset and that might never change. There’s nothing you can say that would make them understand or be happy about it. But you can help them at least accept it by being firm and clear. “This is my decision and it won’t change. I know that may be hard to hear.” Don’t give a million reasons they can nitpick. Be compassionate because they are sad but don’t feel responsible for their feelings. They made their choices and you can make yours!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t engage. You don’t need to explain yourself or let them hound you. If they question you just say you’re not interested in talking about it anymore and change the subject. If they won’t stop, end the interaction.

When one of my DDs told me she didn’t want children I did have some questions. I asked her if she would be ok talking about it and she agreed. I wanted to understand her decision and I did not try to convince her to change her mind or belittle her decision. And that was that. I respect her decision and it’s not an issue. I would feel the same way even if she had said no to my initial question. You have the right to make this decision and if your parents don’t get that you will have to be very firm with your boundaries.

Lol your first paragraph is in direct conflict with your second.

It would be if I continually questioned her, or if I indicated that I had pushed her to tell me more about her decision or tried to talk her out of it. I guess you didn’t read. I ASKED her permission to talk about it ONE TIME. During that talk I did NOT try to talk her out of it or belittle her choice (you’ll change your mind when X happens, etc.).

Meh. You’re splitting hairs. The bottom line is you said “you don’t need to explain yourself” but then said you asked your daughter to explain herself.

[Anonymous]

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Tell them you desperately want kids and you are sleeping with every man you know, and many men you don't, in hopes of reaching that goal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They should know that having kids is a life-changing responsibility and should of me for recognizing that I’m not cut out for it.

They want grandkids and that's their business. Do they have other options?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t engage. You don’t need to explain yourself or let them hound you. If they question you just say you’re not interested in talking about it anymore and change the subject. If they won’t stop, end the interaction.

When one of my DDs told me she didn’t want children I did have some questions. I asked her if she would be ok talking about it and she agreed. I wanted to understand her decision and I did not try to convince her to change her mind or belittle her decision. And that was that. I respect her decision and it’s not an issue. I would feel the same way even if she had said no to my initial question. You have the right to make this decision and if your parents don’t get that you will have to be very firm with your boundaries.

Lol your first paragraph is in direct conflict with your second.

It would be if I continually questioned her, or if I indicated that I had pushed her to tell me more about her decision or tried to talk her out of it. I guess you didn’t read. I ASKED her permission to talk about it ONE TIME. During that talk I did NOT try to talk her out of it or belittle her choice (you’ll change your mind when X happens, etc.).

Meh. You’re splitting hairs. The bottom line is you said “you don’t need to explain yourself” but then said you asked your daughter to explain herself.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They should know that having kids is a life-changing responsibility and should of me for recognizing that I’m not cut out for it.

They want grandkids and that's their business. Do they have other options?

Not their business. Not when it’s someone else having the child.

If they want grandkids they can adopt them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t engage. You don’t need to explain yourself or let them hound you. If they question you just say you’re not interested in talking about it anymore and change the subject. If they won’t stop, end the interaction.

When one of my DDs told me she didn’t want children I did have some questions. I asked her if she would be ok talking about it and she agreed. I wanted to understand her decision and I did not try to convince her to change her mind or belittle her decision. And that was that. I respect her decision and it’s not an issue. I would feel the same way even if she had said no to my initial question. You have the right to make this decision and if your parents don’t get that you will have to be very firm with your boundaries.

Lol your first paragraph is in direct conflict with your second.

It would be if I continually questioned her, or if I indicated that I had pushed her to tell me more about her decision or tried to talk her out of it. I guess you didn’t read. I ASKED her permission to talk about it ONE TIME. During that talk I did NOT try to talk her out of it or belittle her choice (you’ll change your mind when X happens, etc.).

Meh. You’re splitting hairs. The bottom line is you said “you don’t need to explain yourself” but then said you asked your daughter to explain herself.

The context of the question implied continual interrogation from disapproving parents. One loving and supportive talk with a respectful parent is not the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Look around you, Op
It's not that hard

Don't frame it as, it's hard. It's not that hard. Have you seen how many people there are in the world. Why would you be so uniquely disqualified? Likely you wouldn't be.

Certainly you do whatever you want. And no one gets to be rude re: your choices. Re: rude, family do not get a pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t engage. You don’t need to explain yourself or let them hound you. If they question you just say you’re not interested in talking about it anymore and change the subject. If they won’t stop, end the interaction.

When one of my DDs told me she didn’t want children I did have some questions. I asked her if she would be ok talking about it and she agreed. I wanted to understand her decision and I did not try to convince her to change her mind or belittle her decision. And that was that. I respect her decision and it’s not an issue. I would feel the same way even if she had said no to my initial question. You have the right to make this decision and if your parents don’t get that you will have to be very firm with your boundaries.

Lol your first paragraph is in direct conflict with your second.

It would be if I continually questioned her, or if I indicated that I had pushed her to tell me more about her decision or tried to talk her out of it. I guess you didn’t read. I ASKED her permission to talk about it ONE TIME. During that talk I did NOT try to talk her out of it or belittle her choice (you’ll change your mind when X happens, etc.).

Meh. You’re splitting hairs. The bottom line is you said “you don’t need to explain yourself” but then said you asked your daughter to explain herself.

The context of the question implied continual interrogation from disapproving parents. One loving and supportive talk with a respectful parent is not the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t engage. You don’t need to explain yourself or let them hound you. If they question you just say you’re not interested in talking about it anymore and change the subject. If they won’t stop, end the interaction.

When one of my DDs told me she didn’t want children I did have some questions. I asked her if she would be ok talking about it and she agreed. I wanted to understand her decision and I did not try to convince her to change her mind or belittle her decision. And that was that. I respect her decision and it’s not an issue. I would feel the same way even if she had said no to my initial question. You have the right to make this decision and if your parents don’t get that you will have to be very firm with your boundaries.

Lol your first paragraph is in direct conflict with your second.

It would be if I continually questioned her, or if I indicated that I had pushed her to tell me more about her decision or tried to talk her out of it. I guess you didn’t read. I ASKED her permission to talk about it ONE TIME. During that talk I did NOT try to talk her out of it or belittle her choice (you’ll change your mind when X happens, etc.).

Meh. You’re splitting hairs. The bottom line is you said “you don’t need to explain yourself” but then said you asked your daughter to explain herself.

The context of the question implied continual interrogation from disapproving parents. One loving and supportive talk with a respectful parent is not the same thing.

“Supportive” ?

Did your daughter ask for your support? That’s not what you said. You wanted to “understand” her decision.

You sound very manipulative and prone to distort a narrative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t engage. You don’t need to explain yourself or let them hound you. If they question you just say you’re not interested in talking about it anymore and change the subject. If they won’t stop, end the interaction.

When one of my DDs told me she didn’t want children I did have some questions. I asked her if she would be ok talking about it and she agreed. I wanted to understand her decision and I did not try to convince her to change her mind or belittle her decision. And that was that. I respect her decision and it’s not an issue. I would feel the same way even if she had said no to my initial question. You have the right to make this decision and if your parents don’t get that you will have to be very firm with your boundaries.

Lol your first paragraph is in direct conflict with your second.

It would be if I continually questioned her, or if I indicated that I had pushed her to tell me more about her decision or tried to talk her out of it. I guess you didn’t read. I ASKED her permission to talk about it ONE TIME. During that talk I did NOT try to talk her out of it or belittle her choice (you’ll change your mind when X happens, etc.).

Meh. You’re splitting hairs. The bottom line is you said “you don’t need to explain yourself” but then said you asked your daughter to explain herself.

Stop hounding the PP. I understand her explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They should know that having kids is a life-changing responsibility and should of me for recognizing that I’m not cut out for it.

They want grandkids and that's their business. Do they have other options?

Not their business. Not when it’s someone else having the child.

If they want grandkids they can adopt them.

Grandma can't make her own grandkids unless OP donates an egg.

Some people think humans are robots, and I don't get it.

[Anonymous]

So if it’s your business, why do you want to tell them?