Who has aged better? DH or DW?

[Anonymous]

I generally feel that men age better until I consider the families around us. The majority of wives have aged better (40-60 range). As a couple, I get carded and my husband hasn't, maybe it's a joke to card women? I do think he looks older overall but his skin tone is perfectly even and I'm more splotchy. He has wrinkles but his skin is gorgeous despite too much sun. It could be a constant tan that is evening him out so well.

[Anonymous]

In my circle all of the dads have aged better. Frankly, they have easier lives and get more permission from work and society to take care of themselves and carve out time for themselves (gym, golf, guys’ trips) than women. I see the impact of childbearing and second shift on both myself and my mom friends.

Something happens once kids are in HS/college, though, because the moms start to look better than the dads. My theory is that moms get more aggressive about taking care of themselves once the kids are independent, but dads are complacent and haven’t faced many consequences for their lifestyles yet.

[Anonymous]

My DH aged better. Latino with darker skin vs Caucasian wife. All the skin care in the world has not stopped me aging like a white lady. We are both still in shape though.

[Anonymous]

My husband is very good looking and he recently lost 25 pounds so he looks even better. I look very good for my age but three big c-sections wrecked my stomach. I think we both look pretty darn good.

[Anonymous]

Hard to know. My DH is 7 years older. He’s mid 50s and definitely slowing down. I feel energetic, but haven’t entered menopause yet.

[Anonymous]

My husband can get away with a few grey hairs and a slightly receding hairline - somehow it makes him look distinguished, but not yet old. I put a lot more effort into my appearance to look good for our age. We both look better than most of our peers, but that's because we both work out, don't drink, and take care of our skin.

[Anonymous]

Physically men age better, but mentally women do. So many husbands of my friends are having depression, addiction other emotional problems that weren't apparent until they hit 50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my circle all of the dads have aged better. Frankly, they have easier lives and get more permission from work and society to take care of themselves and carve out time for themselves (gym, golf, guys’ trips) than women. I see the impact of childbearing and second shift on both myself and my mom friends.

Something happens once kids are in HS/college, though, because the moms start to look better than the dads. My theory is that moms get more aggressive about taking care of themselves once the kids are independent, but dads are complacent and haven’t faced many consequences for their lifestyles yet.

I don't give my husband permission to get more gym time, hobby time, or friend trips than I do. We both work, and fairness is important to me, so I make time for myself now and assign him child and home-related tasks (the mental load of managing schedules falls on me, so I have to tell him when and where to be so I can do things for myself.)

[Anonymous]

I’m 3 years older than my DH but I have aged better (and he says this all the time). I’m 51. I have stayed in shape, I wore sunscreen, I don’t drink or smoke, and I deliberately take care of myself. I also think genetically I am benefiting because my own mother doesn’t look her age and hasn’t had many wrinkles either.

My DH has gained a lot of weight, smoked off and on, drank more than I preferred until a few years ago (now he’s much better), and has been losing his hair. He was very handsome when we first met but over time he’s let himself go. Now people think he’s older than me and it can irk him. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

My DH has aged better “naturally”
But I clean up really nice.

I put more effort in, and therefore, some aspects of me are aging better. I haven’t had any work or injections.

DH will continue to age naturally and nicely. I may drop off a lot more in the next 5 years but also, we’re both more focused on health .. so I don’t really care about looks. I just want to be a nice, long living Grammy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is very good looking and he recently lost 25 pounds so he looks even better. I look very good for my age but three big c-sections wrecked my stomach. I think we both look pretty darn good.

I hear this about the stomach -- I weigh the same as I did in high school but that skin (and the belly button) will forever look like stretched-out bread dough.
The thin husbands I know all look good. Even with the gray hair and wrinkles, a guy can look handsome if he is thin, well-dressed and takes care of his teeth. It's so much harder for women because they need to primarily look young and fertile to be attractive, not just healthy and fit. And many of the very fit women my age look gaunt in the face.
I'm in the Midwest, so the majority of the couples I know are both overweight so they look equal to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH has aged better “naturally”
But I clean up really nice.

I put more effort in, and therefore, some aspects of me are aging better. I haven’t had any work or injections.

DH will continue to age naturally and nicely. I may drop off a lot more in the next 5 years but also, we’re both more focused on health .. so I don’t really care about looks. I just want to be a nice, long living Grammy.

Same. I get light botox four times a year, lasers, RF microneedling, color my hair, whiten my teeth, take supplements, follow a restrictive diet, and work out with a trainer - it's a lot. DH works out; that's it. And we look the same age. It's unfair.

[Anonymous]

50s. Opposite in my neighborhood.

Dads out of shape, drinking catching up to them. Bald, overweight.

Mom’s working out, fit. Skincare.

[Anonymous]

The internalized misogyny is strong in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is very good looking and he recently lost 25 pounds so he looks even better. I look very good for my age but three big c-sections wrecked my stomach. I think we both look pretty darn good.

I hear this about the stomach -- I weigh the same as I did in high school but that skin (and the belly button) will forever look like stretched-out bread dough.
The thin husbands I know all look good. Even with the gray hair and wrinkles, a guy can look handsome if he is thin, well-dressed and takes care of his teeth. It's so much harder for women because they need to primarily look young and fertile to be attractive, not just healthy and fit. And many of the very fit women my age look gaunt in the face.
I'm in the Midwest, so the majority of the couples I know are both overweight so they look equal to each other.

I thankful for my round face that has not become gaunt. My dermatologist jokes with me …no need for filler/volume. I have cheekbones too that emerged over the years.