Question for middle-age women with husbands who are not physical?

[Anonymous]

Generally, we find that the spouse who is no longer interested is actually still interested but not in their spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are fat and your spouse is height/weight proportionate, then you are the likely cause for them to be non-physical

Oh please. I love (sarcasm) how the default is always the wife is fat. Maybe the husband is gay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Generally, we find that the spouse who is no longer interested is actually still interested but not in their spouse.

Sadly, this is true. I thought my husband was asexual until he caught an STD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generally, we find that the spouse who is no longer interested is actually still interested but not in their spouse.

Sadly, this is true. I thought my husband was asexual until he caught an STD.

Thought my wife was asexual, but same thing, just not excited for me.

[Anonymous]

Could they have low testosterone?

[Anonymous]

In our 50s, I want sex much more than DH. We’re at like 1-2x a week, but when life gets in the way it can be zero. I wish he’d try harder to make it happen more often, but it’s just not important to him the way it is to me. Also, when it does happen, it just doesn’t feel like he has the passion or energy, and isn’t super concerned about my enjoyment the way that he used to be. It is a source of disappointment and resentment for me, but I’ll take what I can get, and appreciate when we actually get our two times a week (although I prefer more). If we stopped completely, there is no way we could be best friends or any sort of friends because I would be so angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is common. As people age, they generally have sex less often than when they were young until it eventually dwindles to hardly ever.

But, maybe they exchange a kiss or a pat or a hug or cuddle. In other words, no sex is not marriage ending.

How about if wife is early 40s and husband is late 40s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How common is for middle-age women to be reasonably happily married to a man who is not "physical" (and where there is no longer a particularly fantastic emotional fulfillment either) and where the dynamics is mainly that of best friends? Is it because the man is financially stable, a good father, an overall decent person? Is it mainly due to mutual respect, common history, and common goals especially involving kids?

If anyone has any answers to this I would really love to know. In my case my wife is the non-physical one. It's cheaper to keep her than to let her go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is common. As people age, they generally have sex less often than when they were young until it eventually dwindles to hardly ever.

But, maybe they exchange a kiss or a pat or a hug or cuddle. In other words, no sex is not marriage ending.

Yes age plays a role. But lack of fitness is a huge reason. Let me give you a simple example. I am 55 and I lead small group workout sessions on the side. It's shocking to see men after men unable to lift an object over head or squat without any back/knee/hip issue. I can't speak for women because I am not one, but I can speak for men and I can tell you as a man weight lifting is the biggest natural booster for feeling good and having a normal sex drive as you age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In our 50s, I want sex much more than DH. We’re at like 1-2x a week, but when life gets in the way it can be zero. I wish he’d try harder to make it happen more often, but it’s just not important to him the way it is to me. Also, when it does happen, it just doesn’t feel like he has the passion or energy, and isn’t super concerned about my enjoyment the way that he used to be. It is a source of disappointment and resentment for me, but I’ll take what I can get, and appreciate when we actually get our two times a week (although I prefer more). If we stopped completely, there is no way we could be best friends or any sort of friends because I would be so angry.

To be honest it is not necessarily gender related. I am sure there are men your age who have the same complaints about their wives. I think we all age differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could they have low testosterone?

It’s possible. But put them in a bedroom with Adriana Lima or Margot Robbie, and you’ll find out that low testosterone isn’t a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How common is for middle-age women to be reasonably happily married to a man who is not "physical" (and where there is no longer a particularly fantastic emotional fulfillment either) and where the dynamics is mainly that of best friends? Is it because the man is financially stable, a good father, an overall decent person? Is it mainly due to mutual respect, common history, and common goals especially involving kids?

If anyone has any answers to this I would really love to know. In my case my wife is the non-physical one. It's cheaper to keep her than to let her go.

The answer is simple. If we put your wife in a bedroom with a Henry Cavill or Chris Hemsworth, she will suddenly be very “physical”.

[Anonymous]

For those women who are content with lack of physical intimacy: is emotional intimacy sufficient given other parts of the marriage, like common goals and shared history? What degree of reduced emotional intimacy would you tolerate? And how old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In our 50s, I want sex much more than DH. We’re at like 1-2x a week, but when life gets in the way it can be zero. I wish he’d try harder to make it happen more often, but it’s just not important to him the way it is to me. Also, when it does happen, it just doesn’t feel like he has the passion or energy, and isn’t super concerned about my enjoyment the way that he used to be. It is a source of disappointment and resentment for me, but I’ll take what I can get, and appreciate when we actually get our two times a week (although I prefer more). If we stopped completely, there is no way we could be best friends or any sort of friends because I would be so angry.

Are you fat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are fat and your spouse is height/weight proportionate, then you are the likely cause for them to be non-physical

You sound like a man. And a very dumb one at that.

Do you even have the slightest idea how difficult it is to lose the weight after even a healthy delivery??!?