Wife Lets Son Smoke

[Anonymous]

My mother let me smoke. If she hadn’t, maybe I wouldn’t have continued to do so for 20 years.

Your wife is very wrong here.

[Anonymous]

My son started smoking in HS. Much as I hated it, nothing convinced him to stop. Not even his doctor. I actually can’t imagine the doctor visit working for many teens.

Anyway, fast forward a few years and he decided he wants to stop. I cannot tell you how difficult that was for him (and the rest of us who had to put up with him while he was working on it). He ended up using an OTC aid, which was quite expensive and it took a long time but he did it.

I’m sharing because people think it will be easy for a kid to quit but that wasn’t our experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son started smoking in HS. Much as I hated it, nothing convinced him to stop. Not even his doctor. I actually can’t imagine the doctor visit working for many teens.

Anyway, fast forward a few years and he decided he wants to stop. I cannot tell you how difficult that was for him (and the rest of us who had to put up with him while he was working on it). He ended up using an OTC aid, which was quite expensive and it took a long time but he did it.

I’m sharing because people think it will be easy for a kid to quit but that wasn’t our experience.

Because you threw your hands up back then. There have to be immediate actions to stave this off. I doubt this kid is only smoking cigarettes. There are clearly other issues in that home which op hasn't described (besides the dysfunctional/emotionally immature mother) and those need to be addressed as well. The kid is acting out for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son started smoking in HS. Much as I hated it, nothing convinced him to stop. Not even his doctor. I actually can’t imagine the doctor visit working for many teens.

Anyway, fast forward a few years and he decided he wants to stop. I cannot tell you how difficult that was for him (and the rest of us who had to put up with him while he was working on it). He ended up using an OTC aid, which was quite expensive and it took a long time but he did it.

I’m sharing because people think it will be easy for a kid to quit but that wasn’t our experience.

Because you threw your hands up back then. There have to be immediate actions to stave this off. I doubt this kid is only smoking cigarettes. There are clearly other issues in that home which op hasn't described (besides the dysfunctional/emotionally immature mother) and those need to be addressed as well. The kid is acting out for a reason.

Meh. I doubt it. My parents were extremely good to me and I smoked. I also drank, smoked weed, ate acid, mushrooms, molly, blow and tried crack. I just liked being high.

[Anonymous]

This is some seriously bad wifing and mothering. Married a dud of a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son started smoking in HS. Much as I hated it, nothing convinced him to stop. Not even his doctor. I actually can’t imagine the doctor visit working for many teens.

Anyway, fast forward a few years and he decided he wants to stop. I cannot tell you how difficult that was for him (and the rest of us who had to put up with him while he was working on it). He ended up using an OTC aid, which was quite expensive and it took a long time but he did it.

I’m sharing because people think it will be easy for a kid to quit but that wasn’t our experience.

Because you threw your hands up back then. There have to be immediate actions to stave this off. I doubt this kid is only smoking cigarettes. There are clearly other issues in that home which op hasn't described (besides the dysfunctional/emotionally immature mother) and those need to be addressed as well. The kid is acting out for a reason.

You have no idea what we did. Outcomes don’t always match efforts.

[Anonymous]

I would be really mad if my spouse said that. However, that's something that's important to me so I married someone who had never smoked and would never think it's ok for our kids to do it. You seem really surprised by your wife's behavior here. Have you discussed drinking? Because she sounds like one of the "as long as it's under my roof" kind of moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son started smoking in HS. Much as I hated it, nothing convinced him to stop. Not even his doctor. I actually can’t imagine the doctor visit working for many teens.

Anyway, fast forward a few years and he decided he wants to stop. I cannot tell you how difficult that was for him (and the rest of us who had to put up with him while he was working on it). He ended up using an OTC aid, which was quite expensive and it took a long time but he did it.

I’m sharing because people think it will be easy for a kid to quit but that wasn’t our experience.

Because you threw your hands up back then. There have to be immediate actions to stave this off. I doubt this kid is only smoking cigarettes. There are clearly other issues in that home which op hasn't described (besides the dysfunctional/emotionally immature mother) and those need to be addressed as well. The kid is acting out for a reason.

You have no idea what we did. Outcomes don’t always match efforts.

I understand. I also know that I have been and would be relentless in helping my kids. I was not offered the same care from my parents and I suffered greatly in my youth. I deal with consequences of their neglect and the fact that they gave up on me. I will not allow my kids to eff themselves over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son started smoking in HS. Much as I hated it, nothing convinced him to stop. Not even his doctor. I actually can’t imagine the doctor visit working for many teens.

Anyway, fast forward a few years and he decided he wants to stop. I cannot tell you how difficult that was for him (and the rest of us who had to put up with him while he was working on it). He ended up using an OTC aid, which was quite expensive and it took a long time but he did it.

I’m sharing because people think it will be easy for a kid to quit but that wasn’t our experience.

Because you threw your hands up back then. There have to be immediate actions to stave this off. I doubt this kid is only smoking cigarettes. There are clearly other issues in that home which op hasn't described (besides the dysfunctional/emotionally immature mother) and those need to be addressed as well. The kid is acting out for a reason.

Meh. I doubt it. My parents were extremely good to me and I smoked. I also drank, smoked weed, ate acid, mushrooms, molly, blow and tried crack. I just liked being high.

Yeah, the crack whor had a great upbringing, lol.

[Anonymous]

It’s appalling. How is he getting these?

[Anonymous]

More importantly, why does he feel the need to smoke at 14?!

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately smoking is back. It's not great, but let's not pretend the child needs Betty Ford.

[Anonymous]

This is insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do the people saying "take the kid to the pediatrician" actually have teens? A doctor is not going to scare a teen into not smoking.

Not only that but how do you make an appointment for “lecture patient re dangers.” Sometimes people will also advise asking a police officer or firefighter to provide lectures to family members and I always wonder from what decade these folks are visiting.

I need an appt with Dr. Ballbreaking to evaluate a potential substance abuse situation with my 14yo.

More like Dr. Nagging Karen - and the kid is just going to ignore her like she's an "adult speaking trombone sound" on Charlie Brown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do the people saying "take the kid to the pediatrician" actually have teens? A doctor is not going to scare a teen into not smoking.

Not only that but how do you make an appointment for “lecture patient re dangers.” Sometimes people will also advise asking a police officer or firefighter to provide lectures to family members and I always wonder from what decade these folks are visiting.

I need an appt with Dr. Ballbreaking to evaluate a potential substance abuse situation with my 14yo.

More like Dr. Nagging Karen - and the kid is just going to ignore her like she's an "adult speaking trombone sound" on Charlie Brown.

and then she orders the drug/cotinine/alcohol screen and things get real.