gut check -- age to go to park alone with friend

[Anonymous]

My 8 year old and her friends absolutely are not ready to do this alone.

[Anonymous]

I'm really curious what you all are imagining might happen to your eight-year-old on her way to/from the park or while she was there. I don't mean this to sound snide -- is she not good at looking both ways when crossing the street? takes dumb risks at the playground? can't be trusted to stay where she's supposed to be? Help me understand the threat model.

[Anonymous]

Unless there was a busy street to cross, I would do it. (And do.). Eight is when I allow it alone. Six years old with an older sibling. That’s been the norm in our neighborhood, luckily.

My BFF is an SVU prosecutor. Never had a case of stranger assault. (It’s always the stepdad or uncle. Always.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really curious what you all are imagining might happen to your eight-year-old on her way to/from the park or while she was there. I don't mean this to sound snide -- is she not good at looking both ways when crossing the street? takes dumb risks at the playground? can't be trusted to stay where she's supposed to be? Help me understand the threat model.

Kids get injured at playgrounds all the time. An 8 year companion may not know to get help, may be embarrassed or ashamed if they caused the injury, just freak out. My 8 year DS is waiting for his letter from Hogworths — they are not yet rational beings. Many kids this age take to jumping from roots to see if they can fly, etc.

Maybe if they both have phones and know how to use them — before there would have been a nearby pay phone to call 911. Now it’s BYOP. But the limits of rational thought should give you pause. And the crime of opportunity by a passing predator — its uncommon to see 8 year olds unattended and if they make a regular occurrence that may attract unwanted attention

[Anonymous]

For me, 8 is too young. Middle school age is when we started.

[Anonymous]

We got our kids smart watches at that age so they could have some freedom - is that an option?

Also, passersby.

[Anonymous]

I think it really depends on the neighborhood you live in. In ours, the kids go with friends on their own to the park, and have gone in groups since about 6 and with a friends since 7 or 8. But the area is safe and the park isn't isolated and they don't have to cross any busy roads.

Our kids have had increasing independence over the years and our whole street lets the kids play on their own a lot so it fits with the readiness and independent skills the kids have.

[Anonymous]

I’d give them a watch and a time limit. Maybe 20 minutes.

[Anonymous]

We gave our son a watch. He just turned 8 and we let him go on his own to play with his friends. We have a WhatsApp group of parents in the neighborhood where we post that our kid is going over, in our case the kids’ school, to play. It usually ends up with 4-5 kids playing.

Our son is good about calling when he arrives and when he leaves. We can also see where he is on GPS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really curious what you all are imagining might happen to your eight-year-old on her way to/from the park or while she was there. I don't mean this to sound snide -- is she not good at looking both ways when crossing the street? takes dumb risks at the playground? can't be trusted to stay where she's supposed to be? Help me understand the threat model.

OP here. My particular concern is stranger danger, which yes I know is actually rare. But as I said in the initial post, this park is sort of isolated / off the beaten path and often empty. It's also a cut through from a metro station, and we have (although rarely) had an occasional odd person wandering through the neighborhood that gets your radar up. That's the background that's leading to uncertainty. As I said, she plays unsupervised plenty, and if the park were teeming with school aged kids and families I'd be fine with it. There are other places I'd also be concerned to let her go alone due to crossing certain roads because people drive like maniacs around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least age 10. I thought VA guidelines stated children should be at least 9 years old before staying home alone for 90 minutes during the day. 8 year olds should still have adult supervision

Don’t know what guidelines you mean, but I doubt it. Md has an actual law that says 8 to stay home or on a car alone, but it doesn’t prohibit walking to a park.

I think thee is more danger from overprotection in this instance. I think it’s fine so long as they stay together and both are reasonable rule followers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We got our kids smart watches at that age so they could have some freedom - is that an option?

Also, passersby.

Bump for smart watches: we got our kids Gizmo watches when they were 7 & 8: there are other brands but it offers calls and texts to a limited number of phone #'s and GPS tracking. Our kids graduated to Apple watches a few years after that, before they were old enough for mobile phones.

But... I saw OP's note about the park being a cut-through for Metro and in a somewhat isolated spot: that would give me a lot of pause also, and those are important details! Listen to your gut.

I do think a lot of kids are not allowed independence that will help them grow confidence and life skills, so giving them the leash to explore a little, safely and age appropriately is good: and part of that lesson is saying no to places that may be a little less safe than other spots. Explain why also - not a fun conversation but short, to the facts: you can go here with your friend alone, but not here, and this is why... and don't sneak it since we can see where you are on your watch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be worried about them getting kidnapped.

They're probably more likely to get struck by lightning.

[Anonymous]

Our kid just became ready to do this at 10, with a smartwatch and some supervised time crossing the streets involved.

[Anonymous]

Came here to say, I can't believe the number of people recommending smart watches for kids. The kid is going to be way safer at the park then what they can get into on their smart watch. I am more afraid of a smart watch then I am this park.