Travelling with young kids is so painful

[Anonymous]

Traveling with our first as a newborn wasn’t difficult. His bassinet was a travel crib (guava) already, so we just otherwise brought pump parts, formula, bottles, diapers for the journey, and stroller that a car seat attaches to (which we gate checked). Everything else can pretty much be bought as needed or can make do. He was also a dream on flights, never cried and hit all his naps. It should be even easier once your 2.5 can play games or watch TV on an iPad when you travel. Our oldest is 3.5 now and even easier than ever.

We’ll see what happens with a second newborn. We’re planning on traveling at 2months, 4 months and 6 months, including two 2 week trips, one domestic and one international.

[Anonymous]

Why are you even there? Why couldn't your husband just go to support his mother? I don't understand why a situation like this where it's a medical emergency is even appropriate for kids that age. It would be a very different story for a funeral (god forbid) but this isn't that situation.

[Anonymous]

Most people don't travel with a 5 week old. Obviously this is a very extenuating circumstance. It will get better.

I would just try to relax and not stress about the kids too much on this trip. Let things go. The next trip will be better.

If you are going to regularly visit this town and someone there has some storage for you, I'd probably buy some inexpensive car seats, a pack and play, strap on feeding chair, etc. to leave in someone's basement.

[Anonymous]

Those are the hard ages together. Gets better when they are 4. Husband doesn't care because he's not doing the bulk of it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hated hated traveling with my kids back then. One or the other would be crying in the car. I was turning around constantly to give them something or fix a problem. They slept terribly out of the house. I was a mess and I wished I were more “go with the flow” but I got too anxious when things weren’t easy.

What I WISH I had done was to try and relax; even when they were unhappy, crying. I wish I had laughed and realized it is just a part of life and not worried that others were judging me or worried that I was doing something wrong and that’s why my kids weren’t easy travelers.

I’m parenting teens now and while they are great travelers and it’s easy, I miss the days when finding a new playground was enough to entertain them. Looking back I wish I had just relaxed a little bit and not taken every moment so seriously.

You ARE in a hard stage of parenting. If dh doesn’t think it’s stressful, that’s great! Make sure he’s figuring out the solutions so you don’t have to. Also take time for yourself, you don’t have to be the martyr that’s always around and always on top of everything (been there, done that, burned out). Take a LONG walk every day while he’s in charge. Volunteer to go to the store to get food BY YOURSELF.

And remind yourself that this is a blip, it’s hard, but it will get easier. Sending hugs because I know how you are feeling right now. But you can handle this.

Normally, if a couple was visiting Dad’s parents and they hadn’t taken steps to prepare I would agree with you 100% that Dad should step up, but he is dealing with a medical emergency, and is likely stressed about that.

In the op she said her dh doesn’t think it’s stressful, and that’s probably because he isn’t doing as much as he could. The op is 5 weeks post Partum and has a toddler. Having dad take the kids for one hour each day so she can take a walk is just helping her put on her oxygen mask so she can better take care of everyone else every other waking hour. My dh would have done it and I hope her dh understands that though he’s under stress he can parent his kids at the same time so his post partum wife doesn’t fall
Apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, traveling with young children is hard and stressful. You have to realign expectations.

This.

[Anonymous]

An emergency situation with a newborn (& toddler) isn’t normal travel.

Yes, our families are several hundred miles away, and yes we visited multiple times a year starting when oldest was 2 months. It’s actually easiest to find the time before school starts. Now in the teen & tween years, we go 2-3 times a year.

We flew when we had babies, because they screamed in the car seat. The infant stage isn’t too hard if you are flexible— we co-slept, I breastfed, and we never used baby food. Mostly used a carrier/sling vs a stroller. Toddler age is harder because nothing is baby proofed. Make a quick sweep of breakable/dangerous stuff to move with you first arrive. We bought a spare car seat to leave at the grandparents’ house for when we flew in.

[Anonymous]

I was about to tell you that I traveled internationally with toddlers and it wasn't a big deal...
... but. 5 week old?

I would never do that. I was not recovered after my births at that point in time, and I would never have exposed an unvaccinated baby to all these strangers, during travel and at destination. It's still flu season, OP!

I hope that's a typo, or you're a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you even there? Why couldn't your husband just go to support his mother? I don't understand why a situation like this where it's a medical emergency is even appropriate for kids that age. It would be a very different story for a funeral (god forbid) but this isn't that situation.

100% this.

Since it's your hometown, OP, I would see if one of your local family members or friends can fly back with you this weekend- like you, the kids, and your local friend fly to your house on Saturday morning, your friend helps you get situated at home (make sure there are groceries'), then your friend flies back Sunday.
I can't imagine how much it cost for 4 last minute plane tickets for you all to fly out there in the first place.

[Anonymous]

I suppose I am an outlier in that I didn't find it so difficult to travel with babies and little ones. Some of it was the luck of the draw, some that we did it often, and some, I think, that I was completely inflexible on the things that I absolutely needed and completely flexible about the rest.

Since you are looking at a destination with family that is driving distance, you have the choice to take quite a bit with you if that helps, and depending on family space and resources, you might be able to keep some things with them. I prefer to take as little as I can.

With a 5 week old and a toddler, you must be exhausted. I think if you keep traveling it will be easier for you and soon. Tell H what you need. Yes it is a tough time for him, but he needs to make some effort for you and the children as well. Now is a time to just be very direct and clear with him- I need you to do X at Y time. After the crisis you can have a more in depth talk about what you and the children will need from him for travel.

[Anonymous]

Can your parents or in-laws keep some things at their house to make it easier when you visit?
When my kids were tiny, my parents (and my grandparents) had a pack-n-play, car seat, bouncy seat, high chair, diapers and wipes. I have the same now for my sister.

I feel you though. Going to a non-babyproofed house with a toddler and a nursing infant is a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

In OP’s situation I’d be staying with my own parents and my mom would have gotten everything we needed at her house and she’d be helping me a ton. OP, can you switch to your parents? Your inlaws have too much going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In OP’s situation I’d be staying with my own parents and my mom would have gotten everything we needed at her house and she’d be helping me a ton. OP, can you switch to your parents? Your inlaws have too much going on.

I would too. I was wondering what was going on here.

[Anonymous]

Your DH should have gone to tend to his mother alone while you stayed home with your kids.

[Anonymous]

It is stressful, but this phase of parenting won’t last long. Hang in there. You will also develop more hacks for pulling it off.

(In the meantime, watch them like a hawk. Unfamiliar environments are full of hazards (i.e., grandparent’s medications, laundry pods, unfenced pools, button batteries, etc)