Help!!! Insomnia

[Anonymous]

OP-Reviving this thread again since I’ve tried more exercise, taking melatonin, and taking Tylenol when I wake up in the night and none of these things seem to be helping. I woke up at 1am last night since the baby stirred and wanted the pacifier back in her mouth. I was just starting to drift back asleep at 4am when she stirred again and I firmly said to my husband please go tend to her as I was just staring to sleep but am now back up again. It’s now 5am and I’ve been up since 1am. My husband went back to sleep instantly after helping the baby with the pacifier. I woke him up again shortly thereafter to express how at the end of my rope I am with not being able to sleep at night and that he needs to take over on any baby wake ups. Yeah I’m not proud of waking him up but I was pissed at this point and I’ve been telling him for weeks now about sleep issues. He was a complete baby about it and told me I was scaring him. I basically said he needs to man up if that was scaring him but that I was done with these wake-ups since I’m an insomniac and he has no problem falling back asleep easily. How can I get back on track with my sleep? I feel like my sleep has been interrupted for so long I don’t know what’s day and night anymore. I can tell my body is so confused.

[Anonymous]

Honestly this sounds like anxiety and could be some kind of postpartum depression. It's not "normal" to be struggling this much with sleep four months post partum. (normal to be up in the night a lot with the baby, but not so much "normal" to not be able to sleep in between.

Very kindly, I want you to talk to your OB about this. It really sounds like you are at the end of your rope, OP - not good for you or your family. Hope you are able to talk to your OB practice today. Sending soothing thoughts and hope your way from another mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP-Reviving this thread again since I’ve tried more exercise, taking melatonin, and taking Tylenol when I wake up in the night and none of these things seem to be helping. I woke up at 1am last night since the baby stirred and wanted the pacifier back in her mouth. I was just starting to drift back asleep at 4am when she stirred again and I firmly said to my husband please go tend to her as I was just staring to sleep but am now back up again. It’s now 5am and I’ve been up since 1am. My husband went back to sleep instantly after helping the baby with the pacifier. I woke him up again shortly thereafter to express how at the end of my rope I am with not being able to sleep at night and that he needs to take over on any baby wake ups. Yeah I’m not proud of waking him up but I was pissed at this point and I’ve been telling him for weeks now about sleep issues. He was a complete baby about it and told me I was scaring him. I basically said he needs to man up if that was scaring him but that I was done with these wake-ups since I’m an insomniac and he has no problem falling back asleep easily. How can I get back on track with my sleep? I feel like my sleep has been interrupted for so long I don’t know what’s day and night anymore. I can tell my body is so confused.

Respectfully, "sleep training" isn't just for babies. There are techniques you can use to condition yourself to get back to sleep; you shouldn't need to stay up for 4 hours. New baby sleep waking is biologically-appropriate, however annoying. Teach your kid how to soothe without a pacifier (you'll thank me later, both in the toddler phase and the orthodontia phase). Teach yourself how to count backwards from 1000 and fall asleep. Get a meditation app with sleep stories, like Calm. Get a white noise machine so minor noises don't wake you.

And tell the father of that kid to take his turn(s). Men are so crap when it comes to this! The least he can do is "help".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP-Reviving this thread again since I’ve tried more exercise, taking melatonin, and taking Tylenol when I wake up in the night and none of these things seem to be helping. I woke up at 1am last night since the baby stirred and wanted the pacifier back in her mouth. I was just starting to drift back asleep at 4am when she stirred again and I firmly said to my husband please go tend to her as I was just staring to sleep but am now back up again. It’s now 5am and I’ve been up since 1am. My husband went back to sleep instantly after helping the baby with the pacifier. I woke him up again shortly thereafter to express how at the end of my rope I am with not being able to sleep at night and that he needs to take over on any baby wake ups. Yeah I’m not proud of waking him up but I was pissed at this point and I’ve been telling him for weeks now about sleep issues. He was a complete baby about it and told me I was scaring him. I basically said he needs to man up if that was scaring him but that I was done with these wake-ups since I’m an insomniac and he has no problem falling back asleep easily. How can I get back on track with my sleep? I feel like my sleep has been interrupted for so long I don’t know what’s day and night anymore. I can tell my body is so confused.

Respectfully, "sleep training" isn't just for babies. There are techniques you can use to condition yourself to get back to sleep; you shouldn't need to stay up for 4 hours. New baby sleep waking is biologically-appropriate, however annoying. Teach your kid how to soothe without a pacifier (you'll thank me later, both in the toddler phase and the orthodontia phase). Teach yourself how to count backwards from 1000 and fall asleep. Get a meditation app with sleep stories, like Calm. Get a white noise machine so minor noises don't wake you.

And tell the father of that kid to take his turn(s). Men are so crap when it comes to this! The least he can do is "help".

And be kind when things don't work instantly. I'm getting really tired (ha! pun!) of threads that say "just use this app and cbt and meditate and clear your brain". These people have no. idea. NO. IDEA.

So be kind to yourself (anxiety about falling asleep won't help you fall asleep) and have a plan for DH. If you are having anxiety about 1)falling asleep, 2)hearing him fall instantly asleep and 3) oh baby might be making a noise, DH won't wake up, adrenaline rush-- it's all over. I've been there. Let your husband get as much sleep as possible. It's not his fault your up. But then give him a shift where you go in another room so that you are not on duty. Your mind needs to know that and to know that he actually will wake up and do his job with the baby.

Finally, these years are not forever. I have teens now who are hard to wake up It really does end. Don't blow up your family due to sleep deprivation.

[Anonymous]

I take magnesium threonate. Maybe also some magnesium glycinate.

[Anonymous]

This was me exactly at 4 mo post partum, I'm sorry, lack of sleep feeds anxiety so I know where you're at.

First, are you working now? ie, do you need to be up in the morning and can only sleep during traditional night hours?

if not working, I would "chunk" out your sleeping throughout the day - try to get some good 2 hours naps, sleeping when the baby sleeps.

if you are back at work, you can still do a bit of "chunking" as in, go to bed at 9 and have DH cover until midnight/1 am. And/or have him take the early shift starting at 5 or 6 am. My DH was are better at extending his evening, or waking up early, rather than middle of night.

Given your current mental state, I would book a hotel room and leave DH with the baby for 24 hours to reset. I did this every six months (or more if needed) for the first 3 years. If I'm sleep-deprived, it just escalates every minor tension, which isn't good for anybody.

If you're going to see a doctor, check thyroid, vitamin D, vitamin B and iron, as well as magnesium. Any of those can be off, especially post-partum, and disrupt sleep.

Optimal room temp should be 65-68. Wear cotton or bamboo pajamas, nothing tight or synthetic.

I'm not sure what is safe with breast feeding, but CBD gummies, trazadone, Nyqil have all worked for me. Ask your doc.

Also, if you have to give up breastfeeding to take care of yourself, that is a healthy, acceptable decision. As the flight attendants say, "Put your oxygen mask on first, then help others." Good luck.

[Anonymous]

OP I was you when I had my babies. I’ve never been a good sleeper so it just got worse. Agree with others about letting DH wake up at night, mine is the same and falls asleep instantly even if he’s wide awake.
Read the book Say Goodnight to Insomnia. It has a lot of good advice and techniques, teaches about maximizing your sleep efficiency etc.
Use a white noise app and don’t keep lying in bed trying to fall back asleep if it’s been like 20 or so minutes. Get up and read a book or do something else until you get tired. No phone or tv.
Wishing you luck!