Gf didn’t take anything in divorce
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I do think it’s something you should probe (gently) because her reasons give insight into who she is which affects your relationship
On one extreme, she could be financial illiterate and not have any understanding of martial property, which would concern me and leave me curious about what other general aspects of life she’s missed understanding On the other, it could be that she’s just not an overly material person and it means more to her to be done with him and anything associated with him than to have money she feels came from him. I could respect that if she understands what she gave up but I’d ask carefully since I’d expect there would be some painful past experiences for her that I was close to |
Anonymous
| Is she "sort of broke" and a "little overweight"? Cause we talked to her yesterday. |
Anonymous
| 2 years isn't long enough to trigger certain divisions. Also maybe there was a prenup too. |
Anonymous
| This is pretty normal. My bff at work was recently divorced and he pretty much let his wife take everything. Clean break, and easily done. He was happy to get on with life. |
Anonymous
| Maybe she was a cheater and kids are older (or no kids)and he filed. Maybe he implied he’d let her secret out and she chose to not go for his $ since she was in the wrong. |
Anonymous
| Good for her. |
Anonymous
THIS 100% To keep a lid on things I’ve seen women do this. They don’t want their skankiness to get out to family and kids. |
Anonymous
Yeah, I would explore this too. My STBX is divorcing me after 20 years of marriage and imma take the money and run, lol. He's a cheater and an oblivious fool, but he's not overtly abusive and in fact he wants to "take care of me" to show that he's still a good person. I've done the work on myself to recognize where I have internalized society's messaging about SAHMs and I am mostly confident that it's my/our money, not "his" money, but of course we're all works in progress. This board shows how women's contributions in the home are viewed when it comes to alimony (even when you've done everything right like me -- I came to the marriage with money and he came with debt which I paid off, I out-earned him for many years, I developed a chronic illness from having his kids and we made the decision for me to stay home, and then he had multiple affairs and left me for another woman) and someone will still call me pathetic to try to soothe their own misplaced anger. STBX has always needed a ton of appreciation, so I just flat out told him that I'm not going to act appreciative to receive the spousal support that I'm entitled to. I'm not going to act appreciative to receive half of our assets. It's my money and I'm going to take it in that spirit. He looked a little nervous, lol. Anyway, the question is, why would a person walk away from what is hers? What kind of hold does he have over her? What is she escaping? Has she done the emotional work to address those things? And let's stop telling women that their assets aren't their assets. If you enter a partnership to say, buy some rental properties, and then twenty years later you decide to dissolve the partnership, you split it 50/50. You don't get to say, "But I always did more scouting/maintenance/whatever than you did, so I get more." That's not how partnerships work. You willingly agreed to something that you benefited from and had the power to walk away from at any time if it didn't serve you. You don't get to go back and declare yourself entitled to more at the end. |
Anonymous
| I walked away with very little.after 25 years. And yes I was a SAHM but also supported him from home while he was running multiple businesses. He was and is a mean and spiteful person. I couldn’t handle fighting with him. I know I’ve lost in this process but I honestly don’t know how I could’ve won. Maybe karma will ultimately decide for both of us. |
Anonymous
Sounds like a good moral woman. Keep her. 
|
Anonymous
Infidelity unfortunately doesn't carry the stigma it once did. Confirmed infidelity in marriage should require a brand or tattoo on the forehead or cheek so everyone who dates the man or woman in the future knows. Most cheaters would have no qualms being a divorce-gold-digger. |
Anonymous
| Op here. I asked the question gently and the response was I don’t care about his money. Kinda like karma part. She’s somewhat materialistic and likes certain things and that surprises me when I see her struggling with paying for them. |
Anonymous
| Oh more to it — yes, he was emotionally abusive and controlling and that made me think she just wants to be done with him. |
Anonymous
| What is your question? |
Anonymous
| This OP is a really bad troll. |