Gf didn’t take anything in divorce

[Anonymous]

My gf, 42, didn’t take anything in previous divorce from her ex husband with whom she was married for almost 2 years. He was the high earner but it seems odd to me that she wouldn’t take her portion in house, pension, savings, 401k, spousal support, etc. Her lawyer insisted that she should ask for spousal support but she decided against it. I asked her and she replied that she don’t want to do anything with his money. Her income is $60-70k.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she doesn’t want anything she didn’t earn herself or associated with him after only two years of marriage.


Is that or her salary the deal breaker for you ?

[Anonymous]

They were married for less than two years. If they split that quickly and she refused financial support, he was probably abusive on some level and she wanted to cut ties completely.

I’d respect her decision and leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

She wanted to be done & to never think of him again. Good on her. I’d feel the same. If it were 2 awful years, walking away without asking for anything is a satisfying “f u”. Worth it.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Sorry, meant to say 22 years of marriage. Typo

[Anonymous]

I totally respect that. She probably wanted to feel completely disentangled from the relationship and “taking” resources that she didn’t feel like she needed keeps him in her life in an emotional way. I saw the opposite when my parents divorced, my mom who very much enjoyed my dad‘s high earning status(and also treated him and everyone around her terribly) went for everything she could get and it just felt kind of gross.

[Anonymous]

But you gotta ask for done basic support unless you feel like you didn’t contribute in building that life. Maybe self esteem issues?

[Anonymous]

I’ve known several women like this. Usually it’s because they just want to be done with their xH as fast as possible, their xH is abusive and they’re trying to keep him as happy as possible so he doesn’t escalate, or they feel guilty for divorcing and feel like they aren’t entitled to anything.

[Anonymous]

I think it has to do with guilt and also if they feel their worth in earning that money. Sometimes how impression in front of kids get is also a factor.

[Anonymous]

Peace of mind makes so much more sense than money if you’ve ever lived it.

[Anonymous]

My dad was an abusive alcoholic. When my parents divorced, my mom didn’t ask for a penny of child support or alimony or anything. She just wanted him out of her life and to live the rest of her life in peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My gf, 42, didn’t take anything in previous divorce from her ex husband with whom she was married for almost 2 years. He was the high earner but it seems odd to me that she wouldn’t take her portion in house, pension, savings, 401k, spousal support, etc. Her lawyer insisted that she should ask for spousal support but she decided against it. I asked her and she replied that she don’t want to do anything with his money. Her income is $60-70k.

May be she didn't want to delay the process or doesn't care about money or feels skeptical that you care too much about money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Sorry, meant to say 22 years of marriage. Typo

That indeed is strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My gf, 42, didn’t take anything in previous divorce from her ex husband with whom she was married for almost 2 years. He was the high earner but it seems odd to me that she wouldn’t take her portion in house, pension, savings, 401k, spousal support, etc. Her lawyer insisted that she should ask for spousal support but she decided against it. I asked her and she replied that she don’t want to do anything with his money. Her income is $60-70k.

2 years at that age meant not much was communal anyhow.

22 years and not taking anything means she’s scared as F of him and his emotional abuse, psychological abuse, verbal abuse and doesn’t want continued financial abuse or interactions from him.

Is she an immigrant and doesn’t know her rights?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve known several women like this. Usually it’s because they just want to be done with their xH as fast as possible, their xH is abusive and they’re trying to keep him as happy as possible so he doesn’t escalate, or they feel guilty for divorcing and feel like they aren’t entitled to anything.

Or drag out the divorce for 2,3,3 years and $10000s more