Would you be happy with "good enough?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:18:49 - you sound like old money. There is not much of that in the D.C. area; and this board hates the term because of that. Most in this area are living beyond their means in an effort to look like something they are not (along with their puffed chests and nitpicking).

I know people that constantly complain about money, when their solution is staring them in the face. ie: can't pay your bills but *have to* have private school for your kids? Really?!?! WTF?

PP, I wish I knew you, as we are in the same situation. OP, I also wish I knew your friend. Be a good friend to her and don't assume anything. Be there for her, and do not resent what you think she has. She has her priorities straight. That is a good person. That is tough to find in the D.C. area.

By "old money" do you mean you or your husband inherited that? Not sure why that would demand more respect than someone who (gasp) actually worked for an education and career that EARNED money. Nothing wrong with having a trust fund but it sure as hell doesn't make you better than anyone, and thinking it does is the very definition of snob. So if that is not what you mean, please do clarify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:18:49 - you sound like old money. There is not much of that in the D.C. area; and this board hates the term because of that. Most in this area are living beyond their means in an effort to look like something they are not (along with their puffed chests and nitpicking).

I know people that constantly complain about money, when their solution is staring them in the face. ie: can't pay your bills but *have to* have private school for your kids? Really?!?! WTF?

PP, I wish I knew you, as we are in the same situation. OP, I also wish I knew your friend. Be a good friend to her and don't assume anything. Be there for her, and do not resent what you think she has. She has her priorities straight. That is a good person. That is tough to find in the D.C. area.

By "old money" do you mean you or your husband inherited that? Not sure why that would demand more respect than someone who (gasp) actually worked for an education and career that EARNED money. Nothing wrong with having a trust fund but it sure as hell doesn't make you better than anyone, and thinking it does is the very definition of snob. So if that is not what you mean, please do clarify.

Relax. I am 18:49 and I get what the poster means. I guarantee it is certainly not to disparage anyone that worked hard and earned their $--which is what my DH and I did anyways. The whole 'new$", "old$" is debated on here all of the time. The fact is you can be 'old$' and trashy---look at many of today's bimbo, slutty socialites and you can be 'new $" and discreet.

There are tons of folks that are out to impress and one-up no matter how much they have to max out their multiple credit cards to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:18:49 - you sound like old money. There is not much of that in the D.C. area; and this board hates the term because of that. Most in this area are living beyond their means in an effort to look like something they are not (along with their puffed chests and nitpicking).

I know people that constantly complain about money, when their solution is staring them in the face. ie: can't pay your bills but *have to* have private school for your kids? Really?!?! WTF?

PP, I wish I knew you, as we are in the same situation. OP, I also wish I knew your friend. Be a good friend to her and don't assume anything. Be there for her, and do not resent what you think she has. She has her priorities straight. That is a good person. That is tough to find in the D.C. area.

By "old money" do you mean you or your husband inherited that? Not sure why that would demand more respect than someone who (gasp) actually worked for an education and career that EARNED money. Nothing wrong with having a trust fund but it sure as hell doesn't make you better than anyone, and thinking it does is the very definition of snob. So if that is not what you mean, please do clarify.

I get that, but am I missing a definition of old money? I did think it meant inherited wealth from generations...I'm from Virginia (not northern Virginia) and that is what it meant growing up. People had "old money" and some were from "Old VA Families."

If she is just using the term to mean how you ACT with your money rather than how you earned it, I'd be interested in knowing that. I honestly hadn't heard it that way....is that what you guys mean?
Relax. I am 18:49 and I get what the poster means. I guarantee it is certainly not to disparage anyone that worked hard and earned their $--which is what my DH and I did anyways. The whole 'new$", "old$" is debated on here all of the time. The fact is you can be 'old$' and trashy---look at many of today's bimbo, slutty socialites and you can be 'new $" and discreet.

There are tons of folks that are out to impress and one-up no matter how much they have to max out their multiple credit cards to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:18:49 - you sound like old money. There is not much of that in the D.C. area; and this board hates the term because of that. Most in this area are living beyond their means in an effort to look like something they are not (along with their puffed chests and nitpicking).

I know people that constantly complain about money, when their solution is staring them in the face. ie: can't pay your bills but *have to* have private school for your kids? Really?!?! WTF?

PP, I wish I knew you, as we are in the same situation. OP, I also wish I knew your friend. Be a good friend to her and don't assume anything. Be there for her, and do not resent what you think she has. She has her priorities straight. That is a good person. That is tough to find in the D.C. area.

By "old money" do you mean you or your husband inherited that? Not sure why that would demand more respect than someone who (gasp) actually worked for an education and career that EARNED money. Nothing wrong with having a trust fund but it sure as hell doesn't make you better than anyone, and thinking it does is the very definition of snob. So if that is not what you mean, please do clarify.

Relax. I am 18:49 and I get what the poster means. I guarantee it is certainly not to disparage anyone that worked hard and earned their $--which is what my DH and I did anyways. The whole 'new$", "old$" is debated on here all of the time. The fact is you can be 'old$' and trashy---look at many of today's bimbo, slutty socialites and you can be 'new $" and discreet.

There are tons of folks that are out to impress and one-up no matter how much they have to max out their multiple credit cards to do it.

Sorry - I screwed my post up - let me try again:

I get that, but am I missing a definition of old money? I did think it meant inherited wealth from generations...I'm from Virginia (not northern Virginia) and that is what it meant growing up. People had "old money" and some were from "Old VA Families."

If she is just using the term to mean how you ACT with your money rather than how you earned it, I'd be interested in knowing that. I honestly hadn't heard it that way....is that what you guys mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:18:49 - you sound like old money. There is not much of that in the D.C. area; and this board hates the term because of that. Most in this area are living beyond their means in an effort to look like something they are not (along with their puffed chests and nitpicking).

I know people that constantly complain about money, when their solution is staring them in the face. ie: can't pay your bills but *have to* have private school for your kids? Really?!?! WTF?

PP, I wish I knew you, as we are in the same situation. OP, I also wish I knew your friend. Be a good friend to her and don't assume anything. Be there for her, and do not resent what you think she has. She has her priorities straight. That is a good person. That is tough to find in the D.C. area.

By "old money" do you mean you or your husband inherited that? Not sure why that would demand more respect than someone who (gasp) actually worked for an education and career that EARNED money. Nothing wrong with having a trust fund but it sure as hell doesn't make you better than anyone, and thinking it does is the very definition of snob. So if that is not what you mean, please do clarify.

Relax. I am 18:49 and I get what the poster means. I guarantee it is certainly not to disparage anyone that worked hard and earned their $--which is what my DH and I did anyways. The whole 'new$", "old$" is debated on here all of the time. The fact is you can be 'old$' and trashy---look at many of today's bimbo, slutty socialites and you can be 'new $" and discreet.

There are tons of folks that are out to impress and one-up no matter how much they have to max out their multiple credit cards to do it.

Sorry - I screwed my post up - let me try again:

I get that, but am I missing a definition of old money? I did think it meant inherited wealth from generations...I'm from Virginia (not northern Virginia) and that is what it meant growing up. People had "old money" and some were from "Old VA Families."

If she is just using the term to mean how you ACT with your money rather than how you earned it, I'd be interested in knowing that. I honestly hadn't heard it that way....is that what you guys mean?

It is meant to mean $ in families for generations upon generations..inherited $. My family is originally from Connecticut where the term 'old $' is used a lot. My family didn't have it--but my parents went to all the right prep schools as charity cases so they were surrounded by it. NewEnglanders, in general, tend to be understated.

Ppl on this board do throw 'new $' out when they are describing anybody that is flashy or gaudy with their $ (yes- how they ACT with their $). I've seen it used on dcum in this manner. It is a deviation from the original definition--but I understand it.

In my family---how LITTLE you pay for something nice is what you brag about it. I still can't receive a compliment without replying "$15 at TJ Maxx'.

I have no idea what the other poster intended so you'll have to see if she responds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:18:49 - you sound like old money. There is not much of that in the D.C. area; and this board hates the term because of that. Most in this area are living beyond their means in an effort to look like something they are not (along with their puffed chests and nitpicking).

I know people that constantly complain about money, when their solution is staring them in the face. ie: can't pay your bills but *have to* have private school for your kids? Really?!?! WTF?

PP, I wish I knew you, as we are in the same situation. OP, I also wish I knew your friend. Be a good friend to her and don't assume anything. Be there for her, and do not resent what you think she has. She has her priorities straight. That is a good person. That is tough to find in the D.C. area.

By "old money" do you mean you or your husband inherited that? Not sure why that would demand more respect than someone who (gasp) actually worked for an education and career that EARNED money. Nothing wrong with having a trust fund but it sure as hell doesn't make you better than anyone, and thinking it does is the very definition of snob. So if that is not what you mean, please do clarify.

Relax. I am 18:49 and I get what the poster means. I guarantee it is certainly not to disparage anyone that worked hard and earned their $--which is what my DH and I did anyways. The whole 'new$", "old$" is debated on here all of the time. The fact is you can be 'old$' and trashy---look at many of today's bimbo, slutty socialites and you can be 'new $" and discreet.

There are tons of folks that are out to impress and one-up no matter how much they have to max out their multiple credit cards to do it.

I agree all around. We're another example of a family who lives well below our considerable means, and we will continue to do so even if our wealth keeps on multiplying in the years to come.

And yet we're completely "new money." We may not be the first generation to go to college, but we're certainly the first to take things to this level. And maybe some of our sense of contentment and peace comes from knowing that we worked hard to get where we are.

FWIW, "good enough" works well for most things around here, including furniture, cars, vacations etc. My guess is that we would like OP's friends very much. They sound like nice people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:18:49 - you sound like old money. There is not much of that in the D.C. area; and this board hates the term because of that. Most in this area are living beyond their means in an effort to look like something they are not (along with their puffed chests and nitpicking).

I know people that constantly complain about money, when their solution is staring them in the face. ie: can't pay your bills but *have to* have private school for your kids? Really?!?! WTF?

PP, I wish I knew you, as we are in the same situation. OP, I also wish I knew your friend. Be a good friend to her and don't assume anything. Be there for her, and do not resent what you think she has. She has her priorities straight. That is a good person. That is tough to find in the D.C. area.

By "old money" do you mean you or your husband inherited that? Not sure why that would demand more respect than someone who (gasp) actually worked for an education and career that EARNED money. Nothing wrong with having a trust fund but it sure as hell doesn't make you better than anyone, and thinking it does is the very definition of snob. So if that is not what you mean, please do clarify.

Relax. I am 18:49 and I get what the poster means. I guarantee it is certainly not to disparage anyone that worked hard and earned their $--which is what my DH and I did anyways. The whole 'new$", "old$" is debated on here all of the time. The fact is you can be 'old$' and trashy---look at many of today's bimbo, slutty socialites and you can be 'new $" and discreet.

There are tons of folks that are out to impress and one-up no matter how much they have to max out their multiple credit cards to do it.

Sorry - I screwed my post up - let me try again:

I get that, but am I missing a definition of old money? I did think it meant inherited wealth from generations...I'm from Virginia (not northern Virginia) and that is what it meant growing up. People had "old money" and some were from "Old VA Families."

If she is just using the term to mean how you ACT with your money rather than how you earned it, I'd be interested in knowing that. I honestly hadn't heard it that way....is that what you guys mean?

It is meant to mean $ in families for generations upon generations..inherited $. My family is originally from Connecticut where the term 'old $' is used a lot. My family didn't have it--but my parents went to all the right prep schools as charity cases so they were surrounded by it. NewEnglanders, in general, tend to be understated.

Ppl on this board do throw 'new $' out when they are describing anybody that is flashy or gaudy with their $ (yes- how they ACT with their $). I've seen it used on dcum in this manner. It is a deviation from the original definition--but I understand it.

In my family---how LITTLE you pay for something nice is what you brag about it. I still can't receive a compliment without replying "$15 at TJ Maxx'.

I have no idea what the other poster intended so you'll have to see if she responds.

I'm 22:28, and this is so our family, too!!

[Anonymous]

My lottery fantasy includes ensuring that our siblings all had secure retirements and putting a few different folks through college (or maybe now their children), folks whom I've met over the years and have always wished that they had had that opportunity. I've had the latter fantasy for years, but now also have the former fantasy because of the economic crises over the last few years.

[Anonymous]

Retirement, college savings, funds to travel the world... that is what I fantasize about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:18:49 - you sound like old money. There is not much of that in the D.C. area; and this board hates the term because of that. Most in this area are living beyond their means in an effort to look like something they are not (along with their puffed chests and nitpicking).

I know people that constantly complain about money, when their solution is staring them in the face. ie: can't pay your bills but *have to* have private school for your kids? Really?!?! WTF?

PP, I wish I knew you, as we are in the same situation. OP, I also wish I knew your friend. Be a good friend to her and don't assume anything. Be there for her, and do not resent what you think she has. She has her priorities straight. That is a good person. That is tough to find in the D.C. area.

Who's the poster who likes to play "spot the old money"? She shows up regularly on these things. It seems boorish for someone who is supposed to come from a family with character.

[Anonymous]

Me thinks folks of the old money persuasion would not know of or be on this site.

[Anonymous]

So she's just faking it?

[Anonymous]

Our HHI is about $2M. The more money we have, the less I care about conspicuous consumption. Our kids are in private school (although we revisit that decision annually), and I doubt that most of the parents realize how much we have. We drive 10 year old cars. We don't wear designer clothes.

So, I agree with your friend about good enough. Why waste the money on extraneous things? Things don't bring happiness.

[Anonymous]

Living below our means has been the key to our happiness. Seriously.

"Good enough"? I aim for good quality (except with this very odd obsession with Target t-shirts; they melt after a few washings but I just can't seem to help myself), but can't stand large quantities of things.

I have a single go-to purse; each season, I wear one shoe (and usually, it's been that season's go-to shoe for years). We have a nice bedroom set, for example---basic, very, very good quality. I got it from my parents when they moved/downsized. I'm going to die with this set. I just can't see myself investing in another when this one is "good enough."

My husband, not perfect, but hell, he's "good enough" so I think I'll keep him. Hopefully he feels the same about me!

My brother spends his money very differently, constantly "upgrading" which to me looks like buying the same stuff over and over again.

We don't make but a teeny fraction of what I imagine most DCUM posters bring in each year, but I feel that we live well.

[Anonymous]

OP, cherish that friend. She sounds terrific.

My lottery fantasy includes buying things for the special education teachers, therapists and school that my son attended. We feel a little like they saved his life because he is doing fabulously now and just started a "regular" kindergarten-- no special services required. Hurray! There is some really cool playground equipment I've seen at some area parks, and I'd love to have it built at that school. I'd also love to hire a massage therapist for his school that could give teachers and other school personnel massages during their lunch hours or after school whenever they wanted. That's my biggest fantasy.