DD is upset about her race in her religious school

[Anonymous]

You were talking about five-year-olds. I would not read too much into it.

My kids were made fun of by what they brought into school sometimes for lunch- black bean dip was DSs favorite, but never went to school more than once.

All that being said, I can understand your concern and reticence. I would certainly mention something to the teacher.

[Anonymous]

If your kid is already getting harassed in Kindergarten it will just continue to get worse.

You are paying money for your kid to get bullied. Why would you continue to do that?

[Anonymous]

There’s so many kids that have this experience about the lunch.

My husband is Italian and people made fun of his lunch.
There is no way his mom was sending him with the sandwich.

Anyway, I don’t think that this is new and I don’t think changing schools is gonna stop it.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b8pqSYVTD8c

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a sad conversation with my oldest 5 years old yesterday. She thought she’s not good because she’s not white. We’re Asian. The school our kids go to is a very low diversity school. It’s a religious school and the philosophy we really like. We’re trying hard to help them embrace our culture, but the school friends gave her some negative reaction. She mentioned other classmates talked about her eye shapes. It could be kids’ curiosity? We emailed the school but didn’t get any feedback. Then some kids made fun of her lunch when she brought some Asian food, saying her food is yucky, etc. a few times. She felt bad about it and thought other people think she’s not good. We emailed the teacher and they replied nicely and talked with some kids about it. Lately, DD told us one kid talked about negative things about the country her parents were from and she felt sad. She still makes some good friends at school and seems enjoy school life.

We’re very frustrated about this situation and heartbreaking for our kids.

What would be your suggestion and what we can do?

My suggestion is switch to a more diverse school.

Either tough it out because hopefully things will get better as her classmates mature or switch before there's damage done to her self-esteem. There are so many schools with rich diversity of family's from Asian backgrounds. Particularly the public schools. In elementary the public schools are all pretty consistently strong. Maybe it's time to look around a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most private schools exist so that people can avoid diversity OP. Which unfortunately includes you.

+1 it’s surprising you didn’t know this when choosing a school with low diversity OP. Sadly this is human nature (kids are especially unfiltered).
As another Asian mom, I’d look for other schools with a more diverse student population - what’s the point of paying $$ to put your kid through bullying?

[Anonymous]

I agree with trying to work with the school. I’d suggest an in-person conversation and avoid this as an email topic. It’s too important for email. Also, have you seen the children’s books by Rosemary Wells (author of the Max and Ruby series)? Look for one called “Yoko,” where a girl is made fun of for her lunch. Book one in that series. If you like the message, take it to school when you have a conference. Does your school have a counselor?

[Anonymous]

There are several picture books about the lunch issue. I'd read some with your daughter and ask the teacher to read one to the class.

Lunch From Home
What's That?
The Sandwich Swap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were talking about five-year-olds. I would not read too much into it.

My kids were made fun of by what they brought into school sometimes for lunch- black bean dip was DSs favorite, but never went to school more than once.

All that being said, I can understand your concern and reticence. I would certainly mention something to the teacher.

+1 It seems perfectly normal for a young kid to comment on an unusual eye shape and food they haven't seen before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a sad conversation with my oldest 5 years old yesterday. She thought she’s not good because she’s not white. We’re Asian. The school our kids go to is a very low diversity school. It’s a religious school and the philosophy we really like. We’re trying hard to help them embrace our culture, but the school friends gave her some negative reaction. She mentioned other classmates talked about her eye shapes. It could be kids’ curiosity? We emailed the school but didn’t get any feedback. Then some kids made fun of her lunch when she brought some Asian food, saying her food is yucky, etc. a few times. She felt bad about it and thought other people think she’s not good. We emailed the teacher and they replied nicely and talked with some kids about it. Lately, DD told us one kid talked about negative things about the country her parents were from and she felt sad. She still makes some good friends at school and seems enjoy school life.

We’re very frustrated about this situation and heartbreaking for our kids.

What would be your suggestion and what we can do?

Sorry for your daughter’s experience OP. This is a tough spot for you.

1. I would try to reassure my DD that this is not OK for kids to talk like that. Unfortunately the current president talks like that and his followers are following suit so this problem is likely not going to get better anytime soon.

2. I would talk to the school and ask whether they could use this as an educational moment for teachers to discuss the importance of practicing their religious values of love and respect. If it happens again could the school talk to the parents of the offending children to discuss their children’s mean behavior at school?

3. Does the school already have heritage nights where families showcase the national heritage of their families ? Many schools do these and the Asian tables are usually a big hit with the kids as their food is so good.

4. If school is unwilling to address the bullying and shaming, I would switch schools. School
Philosophies are only valuable if they are implemented respectfully.

Good luck OP

2.

Oh please OP, stop trying to put your politics on normal 5yo behavior.

The current president has normalized bullying. Educators say rates of racist bullying in schools has dramatically increased since Trump #1

This is messy reality

Also my teen (non- white in private school) still vividly remembers being bullied at 5 - this should not be normalized. I went to the school and they dealt with it and it was still
Painful for them. Don’t trivialize OP’s kid’s experiences as normal.

[jsteele]

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1259267.page