DD is upset about her race in her religious school

[Anonymous]

I had a sad conversation with my oldest 5 years old yesterday. She thought she’s not good because she’s not white. We’re Asian. The school our kids go to is a very low diversity school. It’s a religious school and the philosophy we really like. We’re trying hard to help them embrace our culture, but the school friends gave her some negative reaction. She mentioned other classmates talked about her eye shapes. It could be kids’ curiosity? We emailed the school but didn’t get any feedback. Then some kids made fun of her lunch when she brought some Asian food, saying her food is yucky, etc. a few times. She felt bad about it and thought other people think she’s not good. We emailed the teacher and they replied nicely and talked with some kids about it. Lately, DD told us one kid talked about negative things about the country her parents were from and she felt sad. She still makes some good friends at school and seems enjoy school life.

We’re very frustrated about this situation and heartbreaking for our kids.

What would be your suggestion and what we can do?

[Anonymous]

Why are you double posting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you double posting?

DP here. Why are you being a bee with an itch?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you double posting?

It’s a religious school. I’m wondering how people are educating their kids about people from different backgrounds. Our kids heard and learnt many negative and mean words from school.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your values aren’t as aligned with the school as you think.

[Anonymous]

I would suggest you enroll her with like minded children. And I'm sorry because this is painful. Listen to what your child is telling you. I have a personal story but I can't share it now. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Your reading too much into the good/not good. That’s not how it works. They just don’t like her lunch, that’s it. Doesn’t mean they don’t like her. Encourage American food for lunch- fruit, veg, protein, dessert, snack food like chips, drink. Nothing smelly or strange looking that the kids will say ewww gross! Lunch is serious business when you’re 5.

[Anonymous]

Most private schools exist so that people can avoid diversity OP. Which unfortunately includes you.

[Anonymous]

I world tell her teacher de said that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your reading too much into the good/not good. That’s not how it works. They just don’t like her lunch, that’s it. Doesn’t mean they don’t like her. Encourage American food for lunch- fruit, veg, protein, dessert, snack food like chips, drink. Nothing smelly or strange looking that the kids will say ewww gross! Lunch is serious business when you’re 5.

This is awful advice. You should never have to be someone you’re not to please someone else. I grew up like this too OP, I get it. Can you talk to the teacher about giving cultural lessons in class? Or maybe you can volunteer to give a presentation about your culture. I hope your DD can learn to be proud of her heritage. Don’t whitewash her to make her fit in because she will never be white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your reading too much into the good/not good. That’s not how it works. They just don’t like her lunch, that’s it. Doesn’t mean they don’t like her. Encourage American food for lunch- fruit, veg, protein, dessert, snack food like chips, drink. Nothing smelly or strange looking that the kids will say ewww gross! Lunch is serious business when you’re 5.

This is awful advice. You should never have to be someone you’re not to please someone else. I grew up like this too OP, I get it. Can you talk to the teacher about giving cultural lessons in class? Or maybe you can volunteer to give a presentation about your culture. I hope your DD can learn to be proud of her heritage. Don’t whitewash her to make her fit in because she will never be white.

If you want to try to fit in then save the Asian culture for home and embrace American culture for school. Really not difficult. Or you can become a PITA and demand Asian culture lessons and be counseled out in a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your reading too much into the good/not good. That’s not how it works. They just don’t like her lunch, that’s it. Doesn’t mean they don’t like her. Encourage American food for lunch- fruit, veg, protein, dessert, snack food like chips, drink. Nothing smelly or strange looking that the kids will say ewww gross! Lunch is serious business when you’re 5.

This is awful advice. You should never have to be someone you’re not to please someone else. I grew up like this too OP, I get it. Can you talk to the teacher about giving cultural lessons in class? Or maybe you can volunteer to give a presentation about your culture. I hope your DD can learn to be proud of her heritage. Don’t whitewash her to make her fit in because she will never be white.

How disgusting! White wash her? You disgusting racist horrible human pos! Gtfo if you hate America!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a sad conversation with my oldest 5 years old yesterday. She thought she’s not good because she’s not white. We’re Asian. The school our kids go to is a very low diversity school. It’s a religious school and the philosophy we really like. We’re trying hard to help them embrace our culture, but the school friends gave her some negative reaction. She mentioned other classmates talked about her eye shapes. It could be kids’ curiosity? We emailed the school but didn’t get any feedback. Then some kids made fun of her lunch when she brought some Asian food, saying her food is yucky, etc. a few times. She felt bad about it and thought other people think she’s not good. We emailed the teacher and they replied nicely and talked with some kids about it. Lately, DD told us one kid talked about negative things about the country her parents were from and she felt sad. She still makes some good friends at school and seems enjoy school life.

We’re very frustrated about this situation and heartbreaking for our kids.

What would be your suggestion and what we can do?

Sorry for your daughter’s experience OP. This is a tough spot for you.

1. I would try to reassure my DD that this is not OK for kids to talk like that. Unfortunately the current president talks like that and his followers are following suit so this problem is likely not going to get better anytime soon.

2. I would talk to the school and ask whether they could use this as an educational moment for teachers to discuss the importance of practicing their religious values of love and respect. If it happens again could the school talk to the parents of the offending children to discuss their children’s mean behavior at school?

3. Does the school already have heritage nights where families showcase the national heritage of their families ? Many schools do these and the Asian tables are usually a big hit with the kids as their food is so good.

4. If school is unwilling to address the bullying and shaming, I would switch schools. School
Philosophies are only valuable if they are implemented respectfully.

Good luck OP

2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a sad conversation with my oldest 5 years old yesterday. She thought she’s not good because she’s not white. We’re Asian. The school our kids go to is a very low diversity school. It’s a religious school and the philosophy we really like. We’re trying hard to help them embrace our culture, but the school friends gave her some negative reaction. She mentioned other classmates talked about her eye shapes. It could be kids’ curiosity? We emailed the school but didn’t get any feedback. Then some kids made fun of her lunch when she brought some Asian food, saying her food is yucky, etc. a few times. She felt bad about it and thought other people think she’s not good. We emailed the teacher and they replied nicely and talked with some kids about it. Lately, DD told us one kid talked about negative things about the country her parents were from and she felt sad. She still makes some good friends at school and seems enjoy school life.

We’re very frustrated about this situation and heartbreaking for our kids.

What would be your suggestion and what we can do?

Sorry for your daughter’s experience OP. This is a tough spot for you.

1. I would try to reassure my DD that this is not OK for kids to talk like that. Unfortunately the current president talks like that and his followers are following suit so this problem is likely not going to get better anytime soon.

2. I would talk to the school and ask whether they could use this as an educational moment for teachers to discuss the importance of practicing their religious values of love and respect. If it happens again could the school talk to the parents of the offending children to discuss their children’s mean behavior at school?

3. Does the school already have heritage nights where families showcase the national heritage of their families ? Many schools do these and the Asian tables are usually a big hit with the kids as their food is so good.

4. If school is unwilling to address the bullying and shaming, I would switch schools. School
Philosophies are only valuable if they are implemented respectfully.

Good luck OP

2.

Oh please OP, stop trying to put your politics on normal 5yo behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a sad conversation with my oldest 5 years old yesterday. She thought she’s not good because she’s not white. We’re Asian. The school our kids go to is a very low diversity school. It’s a religious school and the philosophy we really like. We’re trying hard to help them embrace our culture, but the school friends gave her some negative reaction. She mentioned other classmates talked about her eye shapes. It could be kids’ curiosity? We emailed the school but didn’t get any feedback. Then some kids made fun of her lunch when she brought some Asian food, saying her food is yucky, etc. a few times. She felt bad about it and thought other people think she’s not good. We emailed the teacher and they replied nicely and talked with some kids about it. Lately, DD told us one kid talked about negative things about the country her parents were from and she felt sad. She still makes some good friends at school and seems enjoy school life.

We’re very frustrated about this situation and heartbreaking for our kids.

What would be your suggestion and what we can do?

My suggestion is switch to a more diverse school.