When did you tell your parents that you were expecting?

[Anonymous]

I told after the initial scan, so like ten weeks. Once they see the heartbeat, the risk is fairly minimal.

[Anonymous]

PP 15:54 my MIL if you didn’t guess from context, was a mean-spirited, boundary crushing, intrusive gossip - most especially anything medical or health-related. She was judgmental of me and abrasive almost as soon as DH and I got married.

She openly criticized every decision I made - becoming a mom at 28 (to her 20), being a SAHM (“I had to work”), to breastfeeding (“it’s way easier to give bottles - that way I can help”), to even having a third baby (“Was this an accident? Because why would you want a third if you already have one boy and one girl?”) and on and on.

Now she has dementia and for the first time ever, isn’t able to unleash a barrage of criticism and rude asides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom wouldn't put it on social media but she would tell just everyone. I waited until about ten weeks knowing she'd tell everyone in the family.

Same. Waited until 12 weeks because telling my mom or MIL = announcement to the rest of the family and all of their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is my first pregnancy and will be my parents' first grandchild. I want to share the baby news with them as I think they'll be very excited, but the idea of having to "untell" them if something goes wrong fills me with dread. I'm 5 weeks now so am very early on. I am considering waiting until 12 weeks to tell them, but my in-laws will be visiting us before then and I don't think we'll be able to hide it from them. I do know with almost certainty that my mum would be a little hurt if my in-laws knew weeks before she did. People here may say that I shouldn't prioritize her feelings but I also want her to be among the first to know for my own reasons.

Is there an earlier milestone that gave you relative confidence for sharing news with family? Do most people just tell people in their inner circle immediately?

Why not?

We shared at 12 weeks.

[Anonymous]

We told my parents the day we found out, and his parents after the initial ultrasound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my first pregnancy and will be my parents' first grandchild. I want to share the baby news with them as I think they'll be very excited, but the idea of having to "untell" them if something goes wrong fills me with dread. I'm 5 weeks now so am very early on. I am considering waiting until 12 weeks to tell them, but my in-laws will be visiting us before then and I don't think we'll be able to hide it from them. I do know with almost certainty that my mum would be a little hurt if my in-laws knew weeks before she did. People here may say that I shouldn't prioritize her feelings but I also want her to be among the first to know for my own reasons.

Is there an earlier milestone that gave you relative confidence for sharing news with family? Do most people just tell people in their inner circle immediately?

Why not?

We shared at 12 weeks.

OP here. Because we live in a small two bedroom/1 bathroom apartment and they're staying with us. God willing I'll be less nauseous by week 9 (when they are visiting) but if I'm not I'm not sure how else I'll explain the constant near vomiting. Keeping it from my MIL for a week while she stays at our apartment feels more like lying than just not sharing the news with her when she's 1000 miles away does.

[Anonymous]

We told both parents at 14 weeks both times. It’s a matter of personal preference.

[Anonymous]

I told them as soon as I got my positive at home pregnancy test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my first pregnancy and will be my parents' first grandchild. I want to share the baby news with them as I think they'll be very excited, but the idea of having to "untell" them if something goes wrong fills me with dread. I'm 5 weeks now so am very early on. I am considering waiting until 12 weeks to tell them, but my in-laws will be visiting us before then and I don't think we'll be able to hide it from them. I do know with almost certainty that my mum would be a little hurt if my in-laws knew weeks before she did. People here may say that I shouldn't prioritize her feelings but I also want her to be among the first to know for my own reasons.

Is there an earlier milestone that gave you relative confidence for sharing news with family? Do most people just tell people in their inner circle immediately?

Why not?

We shared at 12 weeks.

OP here. Because we live in a small two bedroom/1 bathroom apartment and they're staying with us. God willing I'll be less nauseous by week 9 (when they are visiting) but if I'm not I'm not sure how else I'll explain the constant near vomiting. Keeping it from my MIL for a week while she stays at our apartment feels more like lying than just not sharing the news with her when she's 1000 miles away does.

They need to stop staying with you (!) this is not good

[Anonymous]

I talk to my mom ALL the time! I told my mom as soon as I told my husband… but I tell her everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We told my parents the day we found out, and his parents after the initial ultrasound.

Same.

[Anonymous]

We told them at about 20 weeks, after we'd gotten the gender and picked out a name. We bought stationary with the name and put a sonogram picture on it.

[Anonymous]

I agree with those who say they would want support if they miscarried. From someone who did miscarry.

I would be hurt if my daughter kept it from me for three months. But it is her choice.

Of course, the news must be kept secret if one is asked to do so!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15 weeks. Our mothers are relentless gossips, so the second we share anything with them they are blabbing to everyone and anyone. Doesn't matter if you ask them to keep it in confidence. They will share and overshare a d I am old enough to understand the consequences of telling them any personal information.

They're also incredibly selfish and I knew if I miscarried, it would be all about their disappointment. I needed to get to a point where I felt the risk of loss had dramatically decreased and wasn't going to be resentful that they told the whole world I was pregnant.

If you have toxic people in your life like this I would recommend lying about the due date. Advance it 2wks or even a month otherwise you will be pestered relentlessly as the due date approaches. Give you the option of giving birth in peace. I have heard of toxic in-laws asking to be in the delivery room (!!!!!) promising they will stay behind a curtain (yeah right)

I did. This was several years back. I had a due date of end of January, I told them "third week of February." I also had no plans to tell anyone I was in labor. Baby decided to come FAST and in the middle of the night, so even if I was crazy enough to tell them I was in labor, that wasn't going to happen. Water suddenly broke just after midnight I was in hard active labor 30 minutes later, and baby was out 4 hours after that (Precipitous labor 0/10, do not recommend!).

[Anonymous]

I told my mom around 5 weeks, when I couldn’t tell if there was or was not a second line on the pregnancy test (she took one look and said I was definitely pregnant). We told my ILs around 8 weeks before our first scan. Figured we’d want the emotional support if things didn’t go well anyways, but we’re very close to both our families.