Elderly mom in hospital on vacation- how to advise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The best thing is to stabilize and leave the hospital and country ASAP. Pay for a first class flight back home.

And not to travel again (DP)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The best thing is to stabilize and leave the hospital and country ASAP. Pay for a first class flight back home.

This. Also, it’s time for them to stop traveling internationally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's in her 80s with indifferent health and traveling overseas?

I would nix the vacations to exotic locales, honestly.

You think an adult child gets to tell an elderly parent who is still cognitively capable what to do?

Absolutely when they call said adult child because they can’t handle whatever emergency happens.

[Anonymous]

Everyone saying not to travel is clearly forgetting (1) their destination has excellent health care and (2) OP lived abroad, so she will be doing this across borders and time zones no matter what. Her parents might as well actually enjoy their life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's in her 80s with indifferent health and traveling overseas?

I would nix the vacations to exotic locales, honestly.

You think an adult child gets to tell an elderly parent who is still cognitively capable what to do?

My 80-something parents also love to travel but on their last trip they had a health scare (no hospital) and that was enough for them to say they’re probably done with international travel. Maybe a cruise where they don’t get off the ship that much. OP’s parents might come to the same conclusion.

[Anonymous]

Can anyone fly out and help dad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone saying not to travel is clearly forgetting (1) their destination has excellent health care and (2) OP lived abroad, so she will be doing this across borders and time zones no matter what. Her parents might as well actually enjoy their life!

This, as long as they don't expect OP to fly out, they might as well enjoy. Plus, they have free will. They can purchase insurance that flies them to a good hospital if they ever travel somewhere that doesn't have excellent health care. The problem comes when they start losing it and still want to travel, but you just hope by then you can either convince them or if they continue and there are dire consequences you know they at least lived life to the fullest until then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best thing is to stabilize and leave the hospital and country ASAP. Pay for a first class flight back home.

+1 get her home asap

They may get better care in the Caymans that in the US!

[Anonymous]

OP, another thing you can do is ask your parents to make sure they take a copy of your mom’s treatment records with them, to share with her doctor when she gets home. It will be much easier to track this down and get a complete set now, while they are on the property, than do try to do it later from back in the States.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone for your helpful comments.

My brother is there with them (they were vacationing together but he arrived a little later).

And it turns out the issue is gallstones so they are trying to figure out whether to medivac operate there. I am going to post in health for more feedback on that question.

Since I am the remote sibling- I am trying to figure out how I can help or at least not be a bother while this all goes down.

Can anyone share what they wished their very remote siblings would do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's in her 80s with indifferent health and traveling overseas?

I would nix the vacations to exotic locales, honestly.

You think an adult child gets to tell an elderly parent who is still cognitively capable what to do?

Certainly. It's what I do. OP's parent might not comply, but then OP might not help when they get into trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone for your helpful comments.

My brother is there with them (they were vacationing together but he arrived a little later).

And it turns out the issue is gallstones so they are trying to figure out whether to medivac operate there. I am going to post in health for more feedback on that question.

Since I am the remote sibling- I am trying to figure out how I can help or at least not be a bother while this all goes down.

Can anyone share what they wished their very remote siblings would do?

Thank him profusely, but then wait until things are calmer to ask him how you can be helpful. Know your boundaries though. If you aren't willing to fly out for the next emergency, let him know and figure out together how to approach boundaries with the parents. If your parents complain about him not being helpful enough or whatever, defend him. My sibling undermined me every chance she got and send a bunch of unwanted gifts (e.g. I had reversed diabetes and lost weight going off all sugar, she knew that and would not stop sending up junk food. Kids didn't want it, DH didn't and we asked her to stop.) I made it clear I needed her to support the boundaries I set with our parents. Instead she undermined me with them too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For future trips I think there is a special insurance you can get where they medi-vac you back or something. It's worth a google. My parents used to get it. I would also make sure she travels with paperwork making it clear any doctors can speak with you.

Stay calm (fake it until you make it) for Dad. Keep in mind they are doing what they love and that comes with risks. She may not get the best care, but she is where she wanted to be. Try to find out why they won't speak to you.

NP here. You need medical evacuation insurance. We have MedJet Assist.