Elderly mom in hospital on vacation- how to advise?

[Anonymous]

My parents (early 80s) are currently on vacation in Grand Cayman. Now my mom is in the hospital and my dad is having a hard time. I live in SE Asia and am trying to advise remotely. Please help me figure out what to suggest- medical team won’t talk to me on phone.

Mom is anal cancer survivor of 6 years, as a result her digestion is tricky. She is overweight and has been taking Januvia to help with blood sugar. She is not very active.

For the past week she has been feeling quite nauseous and having intermittent diarrhea more than usual. She had thought it was due to some probiotics and fiber pills she had started taking. She went to her doctor in US who told her she needed to lose weight and start Ozempic when she returns from vacation.

She went to urgent care before leaving and they sent her for abdominal scans where they said everything looked fine and no obvious reason for nausea. Her pancreas was hard to find, but it didn’t seem inflamed. So they gave her Zofram and they went on vacation.

Now after traveling she has been vomiting and is in the hospital for dehydration. She is getting IV fluids.

She had a similar episode 18 months ago when she visited me. She ended up in the hospital with Bali belly. There were no tests done then as she recovered after IV fluids etc.

This is our first remote health care crisis and I am more flustered than I expected. My dad is also having an unexpectedly hard time. What would you suggest to advise?

[Anonymous]

Why won’t the medical team speak to you if she gave them her consent?

[Anonymous]

For future trips I think there is a special insurance you can get where they medi-vac you back or something. It's worth a google. My parents used to get it. I would also make sure she travels with paperwork making it clear any doctors can speak with you.

Stay calm (fake it until you make it) for Dad. Keep in mind they are doing what they love and that comes with risks. She may not get the best care, but she is where she wanted to be. Try to find out why they won't speak to you.

[Anonymous]

Is she at HCCI or Doctor’s, or at the public hospital?

[Anonymous]

The best thing is to stabilize and leave the hospital and country ASAP. Pay for a first class flight back home.

[Anonymous]

I would focus on having them ask what will need to happen (both treatment and outcome) before your mom can return to the US. If it's within your budget (or they have the appropriate travel insurance), you could be doing the research to find an air ambulance or medical evacuation company. My understanding is that usually a pilot and nurse fly in together and the nurse assesses the patient and takes them home when stable enough to travel.

[Anonymous]

Luckily the Caymans are a good place to be for health care- compared to the rest of the Caribbean. As you know, a TON of retired Americans there. I hope that assures you she is in good hands.

[Anonymous]

What would you even suggest?

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone- I really appreciated the advice to stay calm for dad. And it was also a good reminder that they love to travel and had been so looking forward to this trip.

I learned there was missing info. The doctors wouldn’t talk to me because they hadn’t spoken with my dad yet either. The hospital took her into ER and family wasn’t allowed while they were stabilizing her.

I also realized we need a pre-trip list where I have their travel insurance info and they carry copies of their powers of attorney etc. There is paperwork that needed to be completed for anyone other than spouse to get info- and my mom wasn’t in any shape to consent. This was a good wake up call for future trips.

Things are improving quickly- rehydrated/ blood sugar stable etc The hospital says she will likely be released tomorrow morning.

[Anonymous]

She's in her 80s with indifferent health and traveling overseas?

I would nix the vacations to exotic locales, honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's in her 80s with indifferent health and traveling overseas?

I would nix the vacations to exotic locales, honestly.

You think an adult child gets to tell an elderly parent who is still cognitively capable what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The best thing is to stabilize and leave the hospital and country ASAP. Pay for a first class flight back home.

+1 get her home asap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone- I really appreciated the advice to stay calm for dad. And it was also a good reminder that they love to travel and had been so looking forward to this trip.

I learned there was missing info. The doctors wouldn’t talk to me because they hadn’t spoken with my dad yet either. The hospital took her into ER and family wasn’t allowed while they were stabilizing her.

I also realized we need a pre-trip list where I have their travel insurance info and they carry copies of their powers of attorney etc. There is paperwork that needed to be completed for anyone other than spouse to get info- and my mom wasn’t in any shape to consent. This was a good wake up call for future trips.

Things are improving quickly- rehydrated/ blood sugar stable etc The hospital says she will likely be released tomorrow morning.

Great news OP. Hope she has a smooth trip back home whenever they decide to go. It's nerve-wracking, but you are right, if they love to travel, just take comfort in knowing they are doing what they love, even if things go wrong. As long as they have reasonable expectations of you and are willing to bring the right paperwork next time and give you all the insurance info, then no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's in her 80s with indifferent health and traveling overseas?

I would nix the vacations to exotic locales, honestly.

You think an adult child gets to tell an elderly parent who is still cognitively capable what to do?

Yes, if that parent or their spouse is going to be looking to them for help. At a bare minimum, they should buy travel insurance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's in her 80s with indifferent health and traveling overseas?

I would nix the vacations to exotic locales, honestly.

This. Honestly at this point there is nothing you can do except go "that's unfortunate, Mom. Get well soon."