Rethinking sending kids to college

[Anonymous]

the bottom line is that unless there is something extraordinary about your kid, they can skip college and go to the trades and make a really good living. If they are entrepenurial they can go to the trades and start their own business. If they have a unique coding mind or unique tech type idea, they can make a killing without going to college.

For pretty much anyone else, they will do better by going to college.

[Anonymous]

We've told our kids to pursue the trades or anything they like -- after college. They will have a college degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've told our kids to pursue the trades or anything they like -- after college. They will have a college degree.

Why would you pay for college, and for a trade school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like an excuse to not save for college

Genuinely curious - What is with the blind allegiance to college here? This board is so antsy and active. Honestly wondering why so many hopes are pinned to this and why worth seems to be measured by what college your kid goes to. "Pointy" kids? Even the terminology is dehumanizing. What is the allure?

Can your kid not get out of the 1200s, is that it, Barbara?

OP here. My kids are in elementary school. Who's Barbara? If you mean Streisand, it's spelled Barbra.

NP
Wait until your kids are older and let them decide. mine are in ivies, we knew from an early age they were extremely smart and then as they went through middle school their interests and academic talents aligned with things that need a college degree. In high school it was clear the path would be easier for what they seek from an elite uni or a top slac. If they had wanted a trade so be it but that does not align with their interests and skill sets. DH and I are a phD/MD couple so are most of our friends. College is just as important for those who have those types of aspirations as it ever has been, as well as for those who are into the highest level of tech. One of mine may end up in a phd for math and a professor. or may go into a career requiring that level of thinking and analyzing. he would not have realized his potential without college. the other will do med school; college is necessary.

To be sure, certain careers require degrees. That isn't in question. But the blind allegiance to upward-striving and industrial-age, cookie-cutter education with one path for all, with exceedingly high tuition prices and poor ROI, are coming under rightful scrutiny, driven in part by the devastating teen mental health crisis. We must ask: At what cost are our future "smart" MD/PHDs pursuing these paths? Whose dreams are they fulfilling? If their own, wonderful. If living up to their parents' expectations to fit into a tiny microcosm where the only people in their circle have the same pedigree -- if they are afraid of falling behind or out of favor if they don't tow the line? -- then that is a big problem, and sadly, it is all too common.

[Anonymous]

FWIW: Jobs, Gates, Branson, Zuckerberg, Winfrey, Spielberg, Turner, Dell ... Geffen ... Wozniak ... did not graduate from college.

[Anonymous]

I’m glad you read a book, OP. Good for you.

[Anonymous]

Sadly, MDs are fleeing the profession in droves.

https://www.bostonglobe.com/2025/02/03/business/doctors-quitting-medicine-burnout/

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/18/opinion/letters/doctors-burnout.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m glad you read a book, OP. Good for you.

Thanks! It was a very worthwhile read. Also recently enjoyed "James" and "Never Enough" (on toxic achievement culture), and just started The Friday Afternoon Club by Griffin Dunne. How's about you? What are you tucking into? Feel free to move over to the DCUM Book Club forum if you're a literary enthusiast and cheerleader!

[Anonymous]

Whether you attend college or not, a minimum request from your fellow citizens is to please understand your fundamental rights, history, and US government! And, read about it from multiple sources and historians. PLEASE!

[Anonymous]

As somebody whose kids align with the type of learning that is actually proposed in the description--and having nothing to do with the OP's non-sensical rant, I do see some value in what it says. Both kids in a pretty highly ranked university gaining an absolutely invaluable experience. They each have goals that could not be achieved without the education and experience they are having in college. Without a doubt. I'm assuming the OP was just to get conversation going on this site for rankings, because there is zero value in the post itself other than firing people like me up and responding--exactly what it's intended to do for traffic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As somebody whose kids align with the type of learning that is actually proposed in the description--and having nothing to do with the OP's non-sensical rant, I do see some value in what it says. Both kids in a pretty highly ranked university gaining an absolutely invaluable experience. They each have goals that could not be achieved without the education and experience they are having in college. Without a doubt. I'm assuming the OP was just to get conversation going on this site for rankings, because there is zero value in the post itself other than firing people like me up and responding--exactly what it's intended to do for traffic.

I'm sorry, but what "nonsensical" rant? Nonsensical in that you disagree? It was a cut and paste of the book description with a benign opening. I have no idea why this post is so controversial. This is a college forum. It is OK to think critically about the necessity and role of college. Think about why it fires you up so much, makes you uncomfortable. Nobody is judging you. This is a book that offers a framework for a different type of future. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh, she still recommends college. Just maybe not spending life savings for BRAND college.

But honestly, BRAND college will still probably be worth it.

Actually, read the book. She does not recommend traditional "college" as it stands now.

NP. Who cares what she thinks? Oh yes some random lady thinks college is not worth it, I better listen to her! You need to be more discerning.

The only thing that needs to change is the COST of college. A college degree is ALWAYS valuable to those who want an education. Find an education you can afford. Nothing new here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like an excuse to not save for college

Genuinely curious - What is with the blind allegiance to college here? This board is so antsy and active. Honestly wondering why so many hopes are pinned to this and why worth seems to be measured by what college your kid goes to. "Pointy" kids? Even the terminology is dehumanizing. What is the allure?

Can your kid not get out of the 1200s, is that it, Barbara?

OP here. My kids are in elementary school. Who's Barbara? If you mean Streisand, it's spelled Barbra.

What alternative post-high school path will you encourage your kids to go down, OP? I think the main reason most parents focus on college is the fact that statistically, college educated adults earn much more money than non-college educated adults. We are all hoping to set our kids up for financial stability and success.

Good question! My kids are young but already I see myself getting sucked into the stressful ecosystem of tracking, leveling, rankings -- it comes up in social conversations, on the sidelines at sports, etc. Parents enrolling their kids in club sports to get an edge or Russian math so they're a grade ahead. It just all seems so sad. I don't know that I wouldn't want my kids to go to college -- but I would want to think long and hard about what truly sparks joy for them. Perhaps a gap year. Perhaps a trade school. Perhaps an apprenticeship.

But I am reluctant to just send them into the sausage-grinder where their worth is measured by Naviance and "stats." It feels inhumane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As somebody whose kids align with the type of learning that is actually proposed in the description--and having nothing to do with the OP's non-sensical rant, I do see some value in what it says. Both kids in a pretty highly ranked university gaining an absolutely invaluable experience. They each have goals that could not be achieved without the education and experience they are having in college. Without a doubt. I'm assuming the OP was just to get conversation going on this site for rankings, because there is zero value in the post itself other than firing people like me up and responding--exactly what it's intended to do for traffic.

I'm sorry, but what "nonsensical" rant? Nonsensical in that you disagree? It was a cut and paste of the book description with a benign opening. I have no idea why this post is so controversial. This is a college forum. It is OK to think critically about the necessity and role of college. Think about why it fires you up so much, makes you uncomfortable. Nobody is judging you. This is a book that offers a framework for a different type of future. That's all.

Your "benign" intro read a bit like a rant and had nothing whatsoever to do with the description you pasted below it. That makes is nonsensical. I assumed you were just clickbaiting, but I'm beginning to wonder if you're just dim and your kids are following suit. It is very clear you do not have children who have already a college experience. If you did, you would never suggest it was a mistake.

[Anonymous]

The OP poses an interesting question and everyone gets on the defensive and responds in the most passive aggressive way. At this point in time, I’m thinking my kids will still go to traditional colleges. But with the costs rising and how people learn changing, it’s a legit question to ask what college might look like in the future for most people.