Postpartum doula seems hesitant to fulfill night care

[Anonymous]

This already seems like more time and energy than it’s worth for two little night visits. As for a refund and be done

[Anonymous]

Please schedule your nights. And then she can find a backup for those.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she’s trying to get out of the night duty. At this point, I would tell her you don’t need her, but she needs to refund you for those two nights.

[Anonymous]

I would 100 percent ask for a refund. If she doesn’t give it, I personally wouldn’t love having someone who took this route care for my newborn so maybe she can come tidy the house or organize baby items if a refund is refused.

[Anonymous]

I would give this person a very honest, factual reference. It sounds like something I would very much want to know about a doula I was hiring. I bet so would her other clients. So unprofessional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like she’s trying to get out of the night duty. At this point, I would tell her you don’t need her, but she needs to refund you for those two nights.

+1000

Get your money back and be done.

She’s an amateur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op- do you even need her?

OP here. I will probably be fine. I've never had a night doula before with my other kids. DH and I don't have any family help. Our families both live abroad. This time DH does have a longer paternity leave. I don't think she's going to refund me though and I don't want to put anymore effort into this. I may just not review or give her a reference and leave it at that.

I would give an honest review. And I agree with PP about asking her to provide daytime postpartum doula services since she doesn’t want to work at night.

[Anonymous]

Wow this isn’t a good start to her new career. Either schedule the nights or ask for a refund. And let her know that in your reference you will have to be honest about the issue with her actually providing overnight care. Hopefully she has realized that this is not a service that she is going to be able to provide.

[Anonymous]

I’m so confused. Why haven’t you scheduled your dates?! Just give the poor woman her two dates so she can move on.

[Anonymous]

This is something your dh should handle, both to save you the stress and because I just have a feeling she’s less likely to attempt to get him to cancel without refund. She knows you’re vulnerable. Tell him whether you want a refund or the two nights and have him negotiate with her.

[Anonymous]

Typically when doulas do both postpartum and births- births get priority. She shouldn't leave you mid-shift. But she should have a back up in place. Client B is in labor, your night is tomorrow, back up that you've met over video or at least spoken to is sent to your place.

It does sound like she's trying to move those shifts to days? Did you guys chat and leave it open? Like let's plan for nights but we might need more help during the day. They are super sleepy the first two weeks blah blah. If there was any room for interpretation she could just be checking.

If you paid for a package it might be hard to get a refund. Also depending on he contract. You see it as she's not fulfilling the contract but she asked you for dates. You haven't given them. If you now say actually nevermind technically you could be not fulfilling her contract. I know a lot of them non refundable if you don't schedule your shifts. Or have use for the hours.

Just give her a selection of nights and say pick two that work for you. Or ask her to give you options. Then say great these two. Pls have a secure back up in place given the demands of your birth clients

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs a backup person, she can’t just leave in the middle of a session you paid for (unless she’s refunding you?). This doesn’t sound like a very professional operation, which is fine if she’s new, but I would look at the contract and see what her backup provision is, and if one doesn’t exist discuss the pro-rated fees you will pay if she leaves.

I think she started offering the service before she had a good sense for what it entailed.

op here. she didn't mention refunding. She is also going on vacation soon. I told her we could do it after her vacation if that's easier so it doesn't conflict with the jan birth she still has.

No, that's just too fishy. You need to find someone else, OP. This is not a responsible professional. I know you hate giving her what she wants, but this is your child. Don't trust someone like that with your newborn.

This. OP, your newborn baby is absolutely not the time to be thrifty. Tell her yes you want to cancel and you want a refund for those nights. If she won’t refund, still don’t let her watch your baby at night and just get back at her by refusing to provide a reference or review. Don’t mess around with your kids for any cost.

[Anonymous]

say here's the nights- please tell me the back up plan if you need to leave for a birth, and if you can't make these nights no worries can i have a refund.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs a backup person, she can’t just leave in the middle of a session you paid for (unless she’s refunding you?). This doesn’t sound like a very professional operation, which is fine if she’s new, but I would look at the contract and see what her backup provision is, and if one doesn’t exist discuss the pro-rated fees you will pay if she leaves.

I think she started offering the service before she had a good sense for what it entailed.

op here. she didn't mention refunding. She is also going on vacation soon. I told her we could do it after her vacation if that's easier so it doesn't conflict with the jan birth she still has.

No, that's just too fishy. You need to find someone else, OP. This is not a responsible professional. I know you hate giving her what she wants, but this is your child. Don't trust someone like that with your newborn.

This. OP, your newborn baby is absolutely not the time to be thrifty. Tell her yes you want to cancel and you want a refund for those nights. If she won’t refund, still don’t let her watch your baby at night and just get back at her by refusing to provide a reference or review. Don’t mess around with your kids for any cost.

Op here. She doesn’t have a plan for leaving mid shift and I have another child with me during the day so daytime visits won’t allow me to nap as care is supposed to be for the baby. I canceled the services and didn’t ask for a refund. I don’t care at this point and I’m moving on. I will not provide a reference.

[Anonymous]

Yeah just tell her you want a refund.