The patents of my DD’s boyfriend

[Anonymous]

I recently experienced this with my 18 yo DD.

It was not pretty when she broke up with her son. I think you’re right to be a little concerned, but as others have said she’s an adult and not much you can do about it.

[Anonymous]

They want her breeding

They want grandchildren

They are sickening people

[Anonymous]

I think I came into dhs life too early (college) to get love bombed. I’ve see his siblings’ significant others get love bombed though. They’re just trying to do their part to get them married. It really ramps up after 30 and they love bomb the parents too.

[Anonymous]

I don't get it. If they love their son and see him in love with someone likable, why wouldn't they encourage it? If man's parents try to keep it low interest, women or their families would be upset about that and hold it against them forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are love bombing her!

Really, it is her first serious relations (though she is in her twenties). I want her to take it slow, and focus on her future career, but I feel like they are really laying it on thick. It makes me think they want to lock her down, because their son is unlikely to do better.

If that's the case, what's your solution? Would you mention it to her? Would she listen? Would you ruin a good relationship because no one is good enough for you until she is a CEO dating another CEO?

[Anonymous]

This happened to my cousin. She ended up marrying him, but once she had a baby they love bombed the baby and literally ignored her. It was very unsettling.

[Anonymous]

I guess I'll have to be careful with anyone my kids date so they (or their families) don't take my kindness and hospitality as love bombing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'll have to be careful with anyone my kids date so they (or their families) don't take my kindness and hospitality as love bombing.

Ignore. Our friends’ adult son brought a girl over for dinner who was charming, gracious, and drop dead gorgeous. She’s also a total bad @ss at work and just bought her own house. DH and I were love bombing her for 2 hours. Lol. I will be thrilled if my boys bring home someone like that one day.

[Anonymous]

How long have they been dating? Does the boyfriend have a decent job? Do either of these kids live at home? What specifically are the parents doing to make it a love bomb? Are these parents gifting a European vacation after a few months of dating.

Talk to your DD about her goals. Does she have a timeframe? Encourage TIME in the relationship for them to learn about each other, the good and the bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. If they love their son and see him in love with someone likable, why wouldn't they encourage it? If man's parents try to keep it low interest, women or their families would be upset about that and hold it against them forever.

I the parents should be as polite as they would with any other friend of their child’s, pre-engagement . That way they appear neutral and the adult child is making all decisions about the future of the relationship.

When parents embrace the girlfriend as a family member early on, it is trying to influence things inappropriately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long have they been dating? Does the boyfriend have a decent job? Do either of these kids live at home? What specifically are the parents doing to make it a love bomb? Are these parents gifting a European vacation after a few months of dating.

Talk to your DD about her goals. Does she have a timeframe? Encourage TIME in the relationship for them to learn about each other, the good and the bad.

Just now one year. He is a student. But for months they have wanted her there for all holidays, join family vacations , give gifts, etc

[Anonymous]

As the mother of a son, can I try it? Does it work? I sort of think the opposite would be more appealing to a young woman: stay out of her way, their way. And not have expectations re: holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long have they been dating? Does the boyfriend have a decent job? Do either of these kids live at home? What specifically are the parents doing to make it a love bomb? Are these parents gifting a European vacation after a few months of dating.

Talk to your DD about her goals. Does she have a timeframe? Encourage TIME in the relationship for them to learn about each other, the good and the bad.

I do know someone who took their DD's rather newer BF to their European trip but it was more to get to know him and to not leave DD here with a new guy while they were away. She was 18.

[Anonymous]

After reading your update ^^, they are coming on strong. Wanting her with them for ALL holidays? Do they live in another area so your DD has to choose? Keep talking to her and ask questions: Does you DD feel pressure from the invites? Does the boyfriend follow his mother’s lead? Maybe someone on this board can recommend a boundary book. Wondering how the mother would react If your DD doesn’t want to go on vacation with them. Does she push her son to get her way. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. If they love their son and see him in love with someone likable, why wouldn't they encourage it? If man's parents try to keep it low interest, women or their families would be upset about that and hold it against them forever.

I the parents should be as polite as they would with any other friend of their child’s, pre-engagement . That way they appear neutral and the adult child is making all decisions about the future of the relationship.

When parents embrace the girlfriend as a family member early on, it is trying to influence things inappropriately.

Not necessarily. If they seem serious, parents may only want to build a good rapport as women tend to be sensitive about these things and hold grudges if they feel they they weren't weclcomed.