Drama queen siblings acting like our parents were terrible

[Anonymous]

I have opposite issue. Ten years apart from sibling. They claim their childhood was happy.

Mine was miserable with a mentally ill mother.

My sister will say my parents were neglectful out one side of her mouth and then say she had a great childhood out of the other.

I don’t speak of it, or anything that matters, with her any longer.

Maybe you are right, OP, or maybe you are in denial or maybe your childhood was good while your sibling had a crappy one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our upbringing was far from perfect and we grew up in a divorced family, but both my parents really did care about us and tried their best. There were no major problems like physical/emotional/sexual abuse or substance addictions, and we always had our needs met. Yet my siblings have become huge drama queens as adults and pretend that my parents did a bad job when in reality we probably had a better childhood than 85% or more of this country. My siblings have a decent relationship with my parents but don’t respect them and constantly talk s*** behind their backs and it’s always about something really petty. Why are they like this?

It’s a social media virus- if your parents weren’t perfect in the way you wanted them to be, then they are terrible people, probably “narcs,” and you’re entitled to treat them with maximum scorn. It’s even better to cut them off.

All you can really do is say, Sister I don’t feel that way and I don’t want to participate in this kind of discussion. I’ll talk to you later.

Then you hang up or leave. It really sucks, but that’s where we are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our upbringing was far from perfect and we grew up in a divorced family, but both my parents really did care about us and tried their best. There were no major problems like physical/emotional/sexual abuse or substance addictions, and we always had our needs met. Yet my siblings have become huge drama queens as adults and pretend that my parents did a bad job when in reality we probably had a better childhood than 85% or more of this country. My siblings have a decent relationship with my parents but don’t respect them and constantly talk s*** behind their backs and it’s always about something really petty. Why are they like this?

Let me guess, this is a sister between the ages of 18-21?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our upbringing was far from perfect and we grew up in a divorced family, but both my parents really did care about us and tried their best. There were no major problems like physical/emotional/sexual abuse or substance addictions, and we always had our needs met. Yet my siblings have become huge drama queens as adults and pretend that my parents did a bad job when in reality we probably had a better childhood than 85% or more of this country. My siblings have a decent relationship with my parents but don’t respect them and constantly talk s*** behind their backs and it’s always about something really petty. Why are they like this?

It’s cool now to have “childhood trauma” and “boundaries.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound insensitive and bossy. My guess is that you have always been like this - oblivious to the fact that your siblings may have had a different experience with your parents.

+1
My parents treated us all differently. I'm the middle sister who complains about them and my siblings don't believe me when I tell them about some memories. They think I make up stories about my parents. I don't. I literally had a different experience. My parents indeed treated me the worst and now I set boundaries to protect myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our upbringing was far from perfect and we grew up in a divorced family, but both my parents really did care about us and tried their best. There were no major problems like physical/emotional/sexual abuse or substance addictions, and we always had our needs met. Yet my siblings have become huge drama queens as adults and pretend that my parents did a bad job when in reality we probably had a better childhood than 85% or more of this country. My siblings have a decent relationship with my parents but don’t respect them and constantly talk s*** behind their backs and it’s always about something really petty. Why are they like this?

This is the trend nowadays, to blame your parents for all the problems in your life, even if, like yours, your childhood was relatively normal.

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't be dismissive of your sister's experiences. Her personality may not align with the treatment she received from your parents.

For example, I have a personality that can take a joke. I laugh and am not overly serious. My younger sister if you tell her a joke she will take it personally. So imagine if your family has a running joke that you were left on the doorstep my the mail man. None of us are adopted and we look exactly likenour parentd. I can hear the joke and not think much of it and actually laugh, my younger sister would take it to heart and call you abusive.

[Anonymous]

My sister and I also view our childhood differently. Maybe she really did have it better (she was younger) but in reality I think it’s just her coping mechanism/desire for everything to seem peachy. It just wouldn’t fit her picture-perfect life as an adult to complain about her childhood. Wouldn’t match her brand.

[Anonymous]

Barring abuse, adults should have long moved on from their complaints about not perfect childhoods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our upbringing was far from perfect and we grew up in a divorced family, but both my parents really did care about us and tried their best. There were no major problems like physical/emotional/sexual abuse or substance addictions, and we always had our needs met. Yet my siblings have become huge drama queens as adults and pretend that my parents did a bad job when in reality we probably had a better childhood than 85% or more of this country. My siblings have a decent relationship with my parents but don’t respect them and constantly talk s*** behind their backs and it’s always about something really petty. Why are they like this?

It’s a social media virus- if your parents weren’t perfect in the way you wanted them to be, then they are terrible people, probably “narcs,” and you’re entitled to treat them with maximum scorn. It’s even better to cut them off.

All you can really do is say, Sister I don’t feel that way and I don’t want to participate in this kind of discussion. I’ll talk to you later.

Then you hang up or leave. It really sucks, but that’s where we are.

This. It’s really toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My parents treated us all differently. I'm the middle sister who complains about them and my siblings don't believe me when I tell them about some memories. They think I make up stories about my parents. I don't. I literally had a different experience. My parents indeed treated me the worst and now I set boundaries to protect myself.

I believe you, PP. I'm sorry you had this experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their experience may be different than yours. Who are you to judge?

This x 100. Op you may have had a very different experience with your parents. Did they have favorites? There is so much pressure to cover up abuse that I wonder what your parents were like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our upbringing was far from perfect and we grew up in a divorced family, but both my parents really did care about us and tried their best. There were no major problems like physical/emotional/sexual abuse or substance addictions, and we always had our needs met. Yet my siblings have become huge drama queens as adults and pretend that my parents did a bad job when in reality we probably had a better childhood than 85% or more of this country. My siblings have a decent relationship with my parents but don’t respect them and constantly talk s*** behind their backs and it’s always about something really petty. Why are they like this?

It’s cool now to have “childhood trauma” and “boundaries.”

This is some right wing bull if I've ever heard it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our upbringing was far from perfect and we grew up in a divorced family, but both my parents really did care about us and tried their best. There were no major problems like physical/emotional/sexual abuse or substance addictions, and we always had our needs met. Yet my siblings have become huge drama queens as adults and pretend that my parents did a bad job when in reality we probably had a better childhood than 85% or more of this country. My siblings have a decent relationship with my parents but don’t respect them and constantly talk s*** behind their backs and it’s always about something really petty. Why are they like this?

Let me guess, this is a sister between the ages of 18-21?

"we probably had a better childhood than 85% or more of this country" That quote of yours speaks volumes. You have no clue and you are clearly indicating there were some issues that may have been serious but you minimize them with some made up statistics. The pressure to ignore abuse in families is immense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their experience may be different than yours. Who are you to judge?

+1