| Our upbringing was far from perfect and we grew up in a divorced family, but both my parents really did care about us and tried their best. There were no major problems like physical/emotional/sexual abuse or substance addictions, and we always had our needs met. Yet my siblings have become huge drama queens as adults and pretend that my parents did a bad job when in reality we probably had a better childhood than 85% or more of this country. My siblings have a decent relationship with my parents but don’t respect them and constantly talk s*** behind their backs and it’s always about something really petty. Why are they like this? |
| What is your birth order, op? It is possible you were treated differently. |
| I have a sister like this. She has been unstable her teen and adult life, sees herself as a victim while taking no responsibility for her actions and has even made up stories that never happened and seems to believe them. It’s awful and caused my mom deep pain. She’s the middle child. |
NP but I could have written this almost exactly. Same experience. We are two years apart. |
| I don’t know. Why don’t you ask your siblings and then listen to the answer? Why do you find it necessary to automatically take your parents side? |
| Their experience may be different than yours. Who are you to judge? |
| You sound insensitive and bossy. My guess is that you have always been like this - oblivious to the fact that your siblings may have had a different experience with your parents. |
+1 Different siblings can have radically different childhoods, depending on their own temperaments and the timing of different events in their development (like divorce). |
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I’m the 3rd born of 5. First DD.
My childhood was wretched compared to my older siblings’ - our dad was combat injured and came home from Vietnam truly shell shocked and depressed. Then I was born in the midst of my parents’ marriage falling apart although they never divorced. My parents had surprise twins 3 years after me. They were very much a unit and were sheltered and protected. They have entirely different memories of our dad. Anyway, I was the scapegoat and my father’s convenient target for verbal and physical abuse. My older siblings got young, earnest and patient dad. Outings, time together, sweet memories all through adolescence. Due to age differences, they were gone when I was a teen so all of my dads anger was directed towards me alone. |
| My parents poured all their energy into my older sibling and her drama and I was parentefoed and expected to take care for everyone else. So yeah, different experiences |
| Maybe that's how they bond with each other. |
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Let assume you have a father who works very long hours six days a week.
One kid can see this as his father works so hard to support the family and is appreciative. Second kid can see it as my father has never been to school meeting or my athletic events and was absentee parent. Same experience different interpretations. |
| Each kid has their own experiences and relationships. There was tons of stuff going on in our family that my sibling just ignored or excaped and I got scapegoated for everything. |
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No sibling has the same experience and there’s no way you can say there is no emotional abuse.
You sound like a terrible sibling I would hate to be related to you. |
| More money in retirement for you. Fein caring. You get more time with your parents then and more money. |