Feel so tired of kids behavior and unappreciated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have your daughter clean up her breakfast mess when she gets home and don't turn on her car for her. Tell her she will be fined the cost of a dog walker every single time she doesn't walk her dog by 8am (or whatever time the dog gets walked in the morning).

Tell your 20 yr old to clean up from his snacks and clean up the laundry room now, today, before he does anything else. If he has to tell friends he'll be late, so be it. Why are you putting up with this crap? You're the adult in charge. If your little son was rude, why did you reward him by letting him go back to the neighbor's to keep playing? He needed to be punished for his bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are normal. I always laugh at the people who love to run to post on these sorts of threads, claiming ‘my kids would NEVER blah blah’. Sorry, but they’re lying or delusional

Not saying my kids are perfect. But no they don’t leave giant messes and expect there to be no consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are normal. I always laugh at the people who love to run to post on these sorts of threads, claiming ‘my kids would NEVER blah blah’. Sorry, but they’re lying or delusional

Nobody is saying their kids would never but they are saying it doesn't go without correcting and pushback and refusal to be a servant (Aka walk dog.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are normal. I always laugh at the people who love to run to post on these sorts of threads, claiming ‘my kids would NEVER blah blah’. Sorry, but they’re lying or delusional

Nobody is saying their kids would never but they are saying it doesn't go without correcting and pushback and refusal to be a servant (Aka walk dog.)

I have 3 teens and they are not perfect, but they know very well that their phones and other devices are my property since I pay for them. Chores must get done and absolutely no rudeness!

[Anonymous]

I like to have the mental energy and willingness to indulge my kids a bit (like turn on the car) which means I don’t do any of the big/time-taking things (like agree to pets or cleaning up after them or pointless traditions that I don’t care for myself)

[Anonymous]

Does your daughter pay the purchase price and all expenses for “her car” with a job she works?

[Anonymous]

We made a gratitude tree and each day each person writes on an apple sticky one thing they are thankful for or a thank you to another family member. We clear it on Saturday and start anew Sunday. It has worked wonders!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three kids from 9-20 years old. I work a full time job- often even late at night on computer-now I’m trying to pull off usual magic of Christmas / clean house- take care of pets— you know the normal 30 hour a day job—-and this morning im about over the top angry at all three of them.

My daughter rarely helps with her dog- she gets up this AM to work out and leaves the dog for me to take out- all her breakfast food on the counter- peanut butter - honey all sticky lids off. Asks me to turn her car on to heat it up.

My 9 year old comes home from neighbor sleepover because church pants he packed too small- talks to me rudely- has tshirt with pants- I tell him to wear a change shirt too and he won’t listen- looks like a goof— asks where the elf is— then runs back to neighbor.

My 20 year old was out last night with his friends (home from college) and must have had snack food on counter- not put up- the laundry room looks like a tornado and the dog door wide open.

I mean- I got up early to get their advent calendar ready and it’s only 8 am and I’m furious at all three!

They do well at school and people think they are great kids—- but at home, I feel like I’m always so aggravated with them- I hate to start the morning yelling at but they don’t help or clean up or do chores. They are all selfish and I’m so sick of it. What should I do??? Is this just normal kids?? I have tried everything to get them to help and do their part- had counselor that told me to just be thankful they are great kids—- but it’s so hard!!

your partner needs to step up and help reinforce acceptable behaviors of the kids. You can’t do everything!!! The kids need accountability. Cold turkey drop all the extra things that you are doing for them. They can do it themselves. It may be painful to see for a few weeks when things don’t go perfectly but you will all be better off in the long run!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three kids from 9-20 years old. I work a full time job- often even late at night on computer-now I’m trying to pull off usual magic of Christmas / clean house- take care of pets— you know the normal 30 hour a day job—-and this morning im about over the top angry at all three of them.

My daughter rarely helps with her dog- she gets up this AM to work out and leaves the dog for me to take out- all her breakfast food on the counter- peanut butter - honey all sticky lids off. Asks me to turn her car on to heat it up.

My 9 year old comes home from neighbor sleepover because church pants he packed too small- talks to me rudely- has tshirt with pants- I tell him to wear a change shirt too and he won’t listen- looks like a goof— asks where the elf is— then runs back to neighbor.

My 20 year old was out last night with his friends (home from college) and must have had snack food on counter- not put up- the laundry room looks like a tornado and the dog door wide open.

I mean- I got up early to get their advent calendar ready and it’s only 8 am and I’m furious at all three!

They do well at school and people think they are great kids—- but at home, I feel like I’m always so aggravated with them- I hate to start the morning yelling at but they don’t help or clean up or do chores. They are all selfish and I’m so sick of it. What should I do??? Is this just normal kids?? I have tried everything to get them to help and do their part- had counselor that told me to just be thankful they are great kids—- but it’s so hard!!

your partner needs to step up and help reinforce acceptable behaviors of the kids. You can’t do everything!!! The kids need accountability. Cold turkey drop all the extra things that you are doing for them. They can do it themselves. It may be painful to see for a few weeks when things don’t go perfectly but you will all be better off in the long run!

with dishes until they can get their act together, give them one plate and one cup. They have to use and wash that one plate and cup for everything— my older DD’s idea to get her younger sibling to not leave dishes around.

[Anonymous]

Is there a DH? Seems like the kids have needed a lot more discipline for a long time.

[Anonymous]

Same OP. As they gotten older, they become less appreciative, probably from stress and lack of sleep.

About the food part, I'd just buy basics and let them eat that (fruit, beans, veggies, eggs, and meat). Any dirty dishes/garbage/dirty socks/backpacks,.... throw them on their bed.

[Anonymous]

You and your spouse need to have a sit down.
Structure Rules and Responsibilities need to be discussed ASAP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are normal. I always laugh at the people who love to run to post on these sorts of threads, claiming ‘my kids would NEVER blah blah’. Sorry, but they’re lying or delusional

Actually, people aren't saying their kids would never do stuff like that, they're saying there would be consequences if they did, and as a result you wouldn't have a 20-year old who doesn't pick up their stuff.

First of all, OP, do you have a spouse? If so where are they in all of this?

Second of all, have you ever disciplined your kids?

My 10-year olds understand that there are consequences for not cleaning up after themselves. Do they still not do it sometimes? Of course, and then the consequences are enforced and it'll be a while until they make that mistake again.

Are you one of those moms who wants her kids to be her best friends? It sounds like you're being quite the martyr by doing advent calendars for kids who don't respect you and don't do their share. So put your big girl pants on and be their parent, not their friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are normal. I always laugh at the people who love to run to post on these sorts of threads, claiming ‘my kids would NEVER blah blah’. Sorry, but they’re lying or delusional

The poster said she would never let the situation play out as OP had, so if he 20-year old refused to clean, he'd have been woken up. So it's not that their kids would NEVER blah blah blah, it's that they would never let it happen without reacting to it.

OP's kids aren't normal, they're brats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Get their advent calendar ready"??? What do you even mean? You are taking on way too much and you need some boundaries.

Sit your DD down for a talk. Tell her not cleaning up breakfast is not okay, and enforce it. If she leaves without cleaning, put it in a tray and have her clean it when she gets back. I know it feels dumb to force a confrontation over such a minor thing, but you need to do this to re-set her habits and teach her how to be a courteous adult. Do not start her car! Time for her to grow up and endure the awful, awful agony of being slightly cold for 2 minutes.

As for your son, wake him up to clean.

As for the dog, do you actually want a dog? Because it seems like your children do not. Wanting a dog means caring for a dog and if your family won't do that, the dog is better off elsewhere.

Your daughter who doesn't take care of the dog or clean up after herself has a car - does she pay for the car herself entirely? If not, then take her keys away. I mean, by age 5 my kids understood that if they didn't do X they didn't get to do Y. How on earth did your kids get to their ages without learning that?!?