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Curious -- what do you do when your toddler won't even sit down for a meal?
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Anonymous
| This is what is wrong with parents today. We no longer expect our kids to follow basic rules like sitting at the table during meal times. More often than not, they just don't want to stop their play to come eat, even though they are hungry. I have been around toddlers that run around the table during meal times. I find it sad. I expect my 2.5 year old to remain seated during a meal. He is in a booster chair, but does not require the seat belt. If he chooses not to eat, then he talks with us or draws at the table. Op - how does your child do when you are out eating? Do you let him get up and play, or does he remain in his seat for the duration of the meal? I would really like to see more children that can remain seated for a meal, especially out to eat. |
Anonymous
That's why it's important to truly know your own child. Is he just doing it to play? Or is he developmentally not ready to sit still at prescribed times? Not all kids are, and to make them do so is pretty harsh (and pointless). |
Anonymous
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I don't allow milk at least 60 min. before dinner. Otherwise, my toddler will fill up on milk and not be hungry enough to sit still and eat at dinner.
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Anonymous
| Wow, I had no idea this was an issue. Why is it important for a child to learn this so early? We let our daughter run while we eat. She usually likes to sit on one lap but runs around. Why is this bad? I figure she'll eventually sit when she's more interested. |
Anonymous
What a brat. Why bother with parenting...do you potty train your child or just hope that by the time she graduates from HS she'll know to use the potty? Do you teach her manners or do you hope she'll come around and speak properly when she feels like it? Do you let your child sleep in the living room and just think that when she feels like sleeping in her room she'll do it herself? |
Anonymous
NP here. My cousin used to do this all the time! I thought it was the strangest thing, but my aunt never made her sleep in her room/her bed. My cousin almost always slept out on the couch in the living room. They're odd though..... 
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Anonymous
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22:54 here. DD is 16 months old. We're planning on encouraging her when she is slightly older.
To describe her as a brat is pretty harsh. What 16 m.o. is a brat?! FWIW, parents in Vietnam let their toddlers run around during "dinner" while holding a bowl of food that the toddler comes to ask for when he/ she is hungry. People do grow up to be normal, functioning kids and adults being raised in different ways. I'll let you know if my daughter is still running laps at the table at 12. |
Anonymous
| Another strict parent here. Our 3 yo sits in a booster chair. When he feels he's done he will ask if he can come down. If he hasn't finished his meal, we say no. He doesn't fight it. Most of the time we all have a nice chat during dinner. He's also not allowed to play at the table either. He has the entire day to do that so there's no need to do it while he eats. That's just my style......I don't begrudge anyone else for doing it differently. |
Anonymous
To be honest, we started this for dinner at age 1 and she just doesn't know differently. So it was easier and more peaceful from the beginning. Plus restaurants sure are easier too! It's simply a good skill/discipline to have. So why not start early? |
Anonymous
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I'm in the middle of reading Parenting with Love and Logic and thought about this post when reading a section on dinnertime in the book. I have a 2.5 year old and it can certainly get zoo-y during dinner although we try to get him to stay in his seat (him eating anything is a whole other story...).
Anyway, the book said that if the child isn't sitting and eating, is being disruptive, then you give the choice (in a nice voice) "Would you like to sit and eat with us or get down and play on your own?" (I don't know that the "play" word is the best word choice but you get the idea) But if they get down, no more dinner and nothing more to eat until tomorrow morning. The idea is that after a few days of that, they will realize they'd rather sit nicely and eat. I'm going to try it this weekend so we'll see. The book did say that if you're worried about them going without food all night, a later snack can be offered, but that would mean coming back to the table and sitting nicely to eat it. This is similar to what some others have posted but just thought I'd share -- seems like a pretty good book so far. |
Anonymous
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Does your kid run around at a restaurant too?
Or at friends'/relatives' houses too? Such as during holidays? |
Anonymous
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Usually not a problem to convince our DDs to come sit at breakfast or lunch, but I have noticed when they won't eat a lot there is usually a BM on the way...
We tell the 3 year old if she doesn't come wash her hands and sit down for dinner we will revoke privileges. (I guess you don't get any ice cream after dinner? I guess you don't want to watch your Barbie movie? I guess you want to go straight to beddy bye? or somesuch, works every time.) I have started asking her to help Mommy set the table, baby's fork goes here, etc. and that seems to get her in the mood for dinnertime. I also tell her I just want her to sit with us because we are lonely without her at the table, and she doesn't have to eat, and then of course she ends up eating. At daycare they save the milk sippy cups for AFTER meals. And if the kids throws their dish down or turns it upside down, they are DONE. The 20 month old understands everything even though she can't express it. She's never been a problem eater though, she comes to her highchair and demands dinner! |
Anonymous
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Do you only have a high chair? My son's ability to sit increased when I bought a knock-off of the Stokke chairs. Something about being able to sit in a real chair and have a place for his feet really helped.
But I do not force my child to eat. But if he wants to eat, he has to sit. But he actually has phases where meals last so long he drives me nuts. But he does go through phases where has has just not been hungry during mealtime. I say let it go. |
Anonymous
| I think that the most important thing you can do is to be consistent and don't give up. Try with every single meal to eat together at the table. We started eating with DS (4) at the table since he was able to sit in a high chair at 6 months or so. Although he is not as good as some children at the table (I think this is, in all honesty, a boy vs girl thing), he is much better behaved at the table now than when he was 3, and certainly when he was 2. Also, having a seat that DS can use all by himself (we have a Svan) helps--he loves his chair (he's quite proud of "his" chair) and he is able to climb into it himself. When we come downstairs in the morning for breakfast, he climbs into his chair first thing and waits for his milk while I toast his bagel. It's the cutest thing! |
Anonymous
| Another frustrated parent here. I do try to be strict with my DD and have her sit at the table with me for dinner and if she doesn't want to eat, then I give her the choice to get down and play. But then she comes and tries to sit in my lap telling me she is hungry and if I don't feed her, an hour later, before she goes to bed, she starts asking for food and crying. Do I feed her then again or I simply tell her that she will not get food until tomorrow morning? |