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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Curious -- what do you do when your toddler won't even sit down for a meal?
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Anonymous
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I am a big follower of Ellyn Satter so I don't force feed my 22 month old DS, but there are times like tonight where he just won't even sit down for dinner. I don't make him, but I also sit down for my dinner and tell him he'll have to wait to play until I'm done.
I did then give him the roll that he was supposed to have with dinner when I gave him his milk later...I just didn't want him to refuse to sleep out of hunger. What do you do when your toddler does this? |
Anonymous
| My 2 year old is still in a highchair, for this very reason. |
Anonymous
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Does he do it most nights? Do you notice any particular pattern?
Mine does it occasionally, and I don't force the issue. Just like you, I tell him that while he may not be interested in eating dinner, I am, and I will play when I'm done. I've also given him a little toy to play with quietly at the dinner table while we eat. If he eats nothing, I wrap his plate and put it in the fridge. If he's hungry later, I warm up dinner, but never give snacks or substitutes. I've had a lot of success not forcing eating issues. I never want the dinner table to be a source of tension. And in the long run (relative, because my son's only 4), it's worked well. He still gets a little antsy on Monday nights, after his first day back to day care, and I know it's just stress from the day. There "will" come a time when everyone easily sits down and eats together. Hang in there. |
Anonymous
| I didn't read Ellyn Satyr. Maybe I'm just stricter than most. When my children get up from the table they are done. Eating is done in the kitchen at the table during meal and snack times. We do not allow DC to pick at their food, get up, play and come back and pick at the food again. Don't get me wrong, DS eats like 6-8 times a day, but each time it's at the table. I'm probably stricter this way after being subjected to a friend whose children run around restaurants when we go out with them and they are simply allowed to do this (they do it at home as well---pick, get up play and come back and pick some more). FWIW, at preschool they are not allowed to get up when eating either. Like I said, I'm probably stricter than most. |
Anonymous
| 22:18 again. If my kids are not interested in eating (not hungry etc...) I don't force them to eat, but if they get up, the meal is done until snack time (which isn't that far off anyway). |
Anonymous
| I wouldn't force a child to eat, but they can sit down with you at meal time (high chair, etc). |
Anonymous
| At 17 mnonths, my children often do not want to get into the high chair. We put them in anyway and once they are there, they GLADLY eat all that we have to offer. 9 nights out of 10 if you ask my son if he wants to eat he will say "no". Also, he will cry when getting in his chair, but is so happy once he is there. |
Anonymous
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Preschool has helped immensely.
truthfully |
Anonymous
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OP here. To answer some questions --
No real pattern of when this occurs. It just occasionally happens. I don't let him graze and play, either. I do have him in a high chair but sometimes he just doesn't want to eat and I'm not sure you can expect a 22 month old to sit quietly in a high chair while everyone else eats. I always put him there -- but like I said, occasionally he will not want to eat (luckily he doesn't throw a tantrum, throw food and such) and won't want to sit there either. So I let him down and the meal is over. He's never wanted to come back to eat so that hasn't been an issue. |
Anonymous
| I have 2 DCs, both have problems sitting at dining table to eat. Not to gross you out, the reason is because both need to "go" during lunch and dinner. This is just their biology ever since they were still babies -- when I was nursing them, I need to line myself well ... Changing meal time does not help ... So OP, consider yourself lucky. You should see us having dinner at a restaurant. I couldn't really eat and just keep dashing to the bathroom with each kid ... |
Anonymous
We're the same way. And we feel stricter than most of our friends. But it feels right for us. |
Anonymous
I bet it is biology. My husband and his 3 brothers and their father are all this way! It's really annoying at family dinners! |
Anonymous
OMG, this cracked me up. DH and DC are like this and we only have one bathroom. There is often a line and I sit and eat by myself. Too funny. |
Anonymous
| I have a restaurant high chair. He needs to sit in the chair (whether or not he eats anything) while mommy and daddy are eating. If he becomes destructive he is offered the opportunity to sit in his crib while Mommy and Daddy eat. He usually chooses to sit at dinner. There is a strap on the high chair, but not a 5 point harness. He is 3. We are also followers of Ellyn Satter who got her outlook from Dr. Irene Chatoor, and my son is a patient of Dr. Chatoor. |
Anonymous
| Breakfast and lunch I've always been relax. Dinner time she needs to sit and eat with us. Or sit and play with a small toy. Being consistent with it has really helped her behavior in restaurants too. And not moving her from the high chair until she proved she could sit still. |